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LILLY: I love you, Mommy.
ZIYI: What did I say about calling me that?
LILLY: Oh. Right. Sorry, Miss Zhang.
ZIYI: Mmm. There’s a good girl.
LILLY: I’m so happy you’re marrying my daddy. He’s rich!
ZIYI: (smiles wanly but knowingly)
LILLY: Hey look! I’m wearing leggings just like you! Wheeeeee!
ZIYI: That’s very nice, sweetie.
LILLY: And I’m wearing my hair just like you.
LILLY: And when I grow up, I’m going to go naked on the beach and do butt exercises!
ZIYI: (barely listening) Good for you. It’s important to have goals.
ZIYI: Wonderful, just wonderful.
LILLY: I want to be a movie star like you, Mommy.
ZIYI: A bit chilly tonight isn’t it? I wonder…wait. What did you just say? What. Did. I. Tell. You. About. That. Word???
LILLY: I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I promise I won’t do that again.
ZIYI: I forgive you. Again. Now, where were we? Something about feathers?
LILLY: Nothing. Never mind.
ZIYI: How fascinating! Sweetie, would you mind loosening your grip a little? You’re strangling Miss Zhang’s arm. There’s a good girl.
Yes, the strong shoulder is back. For sure, the feathery tutu thing is in. And boy, do I love a nice pair of Burberry T-straps.
But all I want to do when I look at this picture is hurriedly offer the adorable Zhang Ziyi my bikini waxer’s number. Are you reading this, Ziyi? My girl Sally is uh-mazing. She does a pretty amazing Brazilian and totally does house calls.
Just let me know, girl. You’ve got my email. Use it.
Butt really…forget all that. What’s important here is homegirl’s tanning strategy:
I’m so confused.
In the current issue of Vogue, Zhang Ziyi says that she doesn’t understand why people have been protesting the Olympics.
“I don’t see why people are so negative. The games are about friendship,” she says. “I’m Chinese and I’m proud of my country.”
Listen, lady. I’m Chinese and I’m muthafuckin proud of my mother ship, too. A lot of people like me are. But just because I’m juiced for the Olympics and ready to lock myself in my house for the next month doesn’t mean I don’t understand why people are “negative.” Yeah, it hurts me when people conflate the Chinese government with the people, and I’d like to think that if your average American lived one day in your average Chinese’s shoes, fighting their way onto a public bus, shitting in a dirty public squat toilet, watching every word they say, they would get why the Olympics matter so much to China. But that doesn’t change the fact that the Chinese government does a lot of shady shit. The Olympic Games are putting China on center stage and, for better AND for worse, China’s detractors. Don’t act like you don’t know the score, Zhang Ziyi. That’s plain stupid. And stupid, girl, ain’t very Chinese.
Last week, our fabu intern Jasmine sent us these touching pictures of Zhang Ziyi (courtesy of Just Jared) raising awareness and sending good wishes to earthquake victims from the Cannes Film Festival:
For once, I didn’t have an issue with the Armani robot’s weird sartorial choices or her excessively dewy (okay, greazy) skin. She looked sweet. She was crying. Or she had wicked allergies in the south of France. Whatever…there was something moving about it all.
Then I read that she blogged about her experiences at Cannes and was left fuming after speaking with one group who knew little about the Sichuan quake. She wrote:
“I was as angry as a madwoman. I said, ‘Are you idiots? You are well-dressed people who look like you identify with society, but you don’t know what’s going on on planet Earth.’ It’s incredible!”
And though I’m inclined to side with Ziyi, I wonder what exactly she expected from, um, THE CANNES FILM FESTIVAL? Did she mistake the South of France for Davos? Did she believe that all movie people are as
annoying enlightened as festival jury head, Sean Penn (god help us if that were that true)? That “well-dressed people” give a shit more than fugly-dressed people? Huh?!
And that’s when, once again, Zhang Ziyi lost me. Sweet lord, that girl has a gift.