You are currently browsing posts tagged with Zac Poseur

Ellen Page Has No Neck

January 29th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Regardless of how you feel about the movie Juno, aka “This Year’s Crash,” I think we can all agree on one thing: Ellen Page has no neck.

Is this why I find her so annoying? I’m not sure. Maybe it’s her marble-mouthed mumbling that bugs. Maybe it’s because she wore Zac Poseur to the SAG awards. Maybe it’s her “I’m just a girl from a small town in Canada” and “Juno was just a little independent movie” spiel. Maybe it’s cuz she’s a midget.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that I, too, am a sufferer of No Neck Syndrome (NNS). It’s extremely difficult for me to do a headstand while balanced on my elbows and forearms, for instance. I also have to seriously consider the cut of a neckline before I get dressed so as not to appear like a 13 year-old Romanian gymnast. Turtlenecks are not my strong suit. I guess I can’t stand Ellen Page because, really, she reminds me of my own defects. And this is only a public fit of self-hatred that I’m having, rather than a legitimate gripe about how homegirl’s still in diffident pregnant teen-character while whoring out on the red carpet and every late-night talk show. Yeah, this rant is really about me and not about Ellen Page at all. Phew! So glad I figured that one out.


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HONORASIAN: Katherine Heigl

October 15th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

I’m not sure how I feel about Katherine Heigl. Grey’s is unwatchable, and her character is too blonde and weepy, anyway, for my taste. She was surprisingly good in Knocked Up and held her own among people much funnier than she–namely Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, and Paul Rudd. Then again, I hated what she wore to the Emmys.

That Zac Poseur dress looked as stiff as meringue, and the flaps on the sleeves called to mind three unpleasant things: origami, nuns, and maxipads with wings. It also had a bridezilla quality to it, as though the Emmys award show was her wedding and she was, like, “It’s MY day!” (which, in fact, it was, because she won).

But then I found out that Heigl has an Asian big sista, Meg, who was adopted from Korea. Meg recently got married, and Heigl was her maid of honor.

Cute, right? And then I was, like, I love Katherine Heigl! Katherine Heigl is adorable! She wasn’t good in Knocked Up, she was great! She’s the next Lucille Ball! I bet she’s interesting and smart, too!

I know, I know. I’m shamelessly ricist that way.


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When Former Angels Collide

September 13th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Former Charlie’s Angels costars Demi Moore and Lucy Liu in the front-row of Zac Posen’s New York Fashism Weak show

DEMI: Hello, Angel.

LUCY: Hey Duh-mi! J’adore your crocodile yoga bag!

DEMI: It’s actually a telescope.

LUCY: Oh! Uh, cool?

DEMI: All the better to see Zac Poseur’s overwrought, derivative, ill-fitting dresses with!

LUCY: OMG. Genius.

DEMI: So what have you been up to for the last four years?

LUCY: Not making watchable movies. You?

DEMI: Same. But I look fucking great, don’t you think?

LUCY: I was going to say the same thing about myself! Weird!

DEMI: Mmm.

LUCY: Mmm.

(awkward silence)

LUCY: How’s Ashton?

DEMI: Great.

LUCY: Great.

(more awkward silence)

DEMI: Wanna see how my telescope works?

LUCY: Yes! J’adore telescopes!


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