You are currently browsing posts tagged with Yi Jianlian

Congratulasians to the Rookie of the Yi-r, er, Month

January 2nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Even though sometimes it seems that the Milwaukee Bucks, well, suck, we’re glad to see one positive thing emerge from their spotty record–Chinese expat Yi Jianlian’s 11 points-a-game average has grabbed him the NBA’s Rookie of the Month honor for December! Here’s hoping you get Rookie of the Year.

Congratulasians, homey! We’ve seen you dunk, and baby, you deserve this.

Thanks, SlantEye!

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November 13th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
“Psst. Whatcha puttin’ in those Wheaties?”

Houston Rockets center Yao Ming was named Western Conference Playa of the Week yesterday after averaging 27.8 points, 10.5 rebounds, and 2.8 blocks two weeks into the season. This acknowledgment was the perfect capper to last Saturday’s highly-touted Yao-Yi showdown, where Yao and his Rockets won 104-88.

The most impressive numbers from that game didn’t come from the Chinese ballers, however. Chinese sports commentators estimate that the match–dubbed “The Super Bowl” by China Daily–drew 100 to 200 million viewers in their home country, causing NBA evil mastermind commish David Stern to splooge all over his suit pants and have a fantastic weekend.

David Stern’s “O” face


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F*ck the Bucks

July 17th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Chinese power forward Yi Jianlian, who was drafted 6th in the first round by the Milwaukee Bucks last month, has decided to buck his new ballclub until they trade him to a better team state environment for a fledgling star.

“Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

Chen Haitao, head of Yi’s Chinese ballclub, the Guangdong Tigers, stated that the Chinese Basketball Association might not even allow Yi to play in Milwaukee.

“This is not — as media reports have said — because Milwaukee, as a city with very few Chinese people, is not good for Yi’s commercial development,” Chen said.

“Rather we want to find a team suitable for Yi’s growth. That’s the root of the problem,” he added.

In other words, Milwaukee sucks. Got it.


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Yi Jianlian Does Bust Exercises In Preparation for NBA Draft

June 21st, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

“We must, we must, we must increase our bust. We will, we will, for we have bras to fill.”


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To Live and Ball in L.A.

April 13th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Chinese basketball star Yi Jianlian arrived in L.A. today to begin the process of selling his soul to the NBA. Yi will enter the draft in June.

You betta bring it, Yi!

Source: Xinhua

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How to Speak Ka-Ching-Chong, Part 2

March 20th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

A group of NBA officials and scouts from the Chicago Bulls, the Philadelphia 76ers, the Golden State Warriors, the Phoenix Suns and the New Jersey Nets have traveled to China to attend the China Basketball Association Finals.

They’re all there to scout 20 year-old, 7-footer YI JIANLIAN, star of the Guangdong Tigers who has declared himself eligible for the next NBA draft.

You can read more about this on Yahoo, but let me just give you the summary: ka-ching-chong ka-ching-chong ka-ching-chong ka-ching-chong…zzZZZzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzzzzZZZZzzzZZZZZzzZZzz


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