You are currently browsing posts tagged with Yellow Slavery

Love. Angel. Music. Mark Kanemura.

August 1st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Dear Mark,

Do you remember how it is in sixth grade, when your class divides up for the first time of the year to play red rover? And for the first time, you realize that picking teams isn’t actually about picking red rover teams, but choosing your alliances for the rest of the year, or maybe even all of junior high, or maybe even forever?

So there you are, with the choice between the team full of cool, nice, smart, free-thinking kids, and the team with THE DEVIL. Maybe yours was named Vanessa. Or Ashley. Or GWEN. She was blonde and bright, with a perky skirt and red lipstick, and she was the most popular and awful girl in sixth grade. Holding on to her arms on both side were mute, motionless, voiceless lackeys, her pawns. Popular and useless, and willing to defile themselves to remain on her fucking red rover team.

What did you decide, Mark? I’m going to venture a guess. You tucked your scrotum neatly in between your legs and chose GWEN. She told you to jump, you didn’t ask how high, you pursed your lips and leapt. If you had an opinion, she mandated that you stay silent. And when you danced? You danced like she wanted you to dance, how she told you to dance, because you were her bitch.

Why would I make such assumptions? Well, considering that you impersonated one of the enslaved, ill-fated Harajuku Girls so recently on So You Think You Can Dance, it seems only natural that you’d not only be willing to become a bitch’s bitch, you’d LOVE it.

Perhaps that’s why the cool, smart, free-thinking kids voted you off. Buh-bye.

xoxo
Diana

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Thanks, jRu!

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3 DISGRASIANs 1 Cup

January 4th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I suppose I should be thrilled to hear that Love, Music, and Baby–three of Gwen Stefani’s four enslaved Harajuku Girls–actually use other names and can speak pretty good English and even own clothes that don’t match! They’re people! They are free agents! They are people with minds and thoughts of their own! Holy shit, they can even squeal in horror while watching that “2 girls 1 cup” bullshizzzzzzZZZzzz…

But wait. Wait a minute. So they can speak for themselves, they can dress themselves, and they can read/hear/see/write/speak English damn hell well enough to know that their Geisha homage and ornamentalism is happening all across America just to fatten Stefani’s pockets? That they are contributing to a repulsive stereotype that we should be silent, decorative, wacky accessories? THEY KNOW THIS AND YET THEY CONTINUE TO DO SO? THEY SURE AS HELL BETTER HAVE STOCKHOLM SYDROME.

Thanks, jRu!

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DISGRASIANS OF THE WEAK! The Sabhnanis

December 21st, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Back in May, when Mahender and Varsha Sabhnani, Long Island millionaires (by way of India and Indonesia, respectively) in the perfume biz, were arrested for enslaving their two Indonesian housekeepers, Diana suggested that the ghoulish-looking Varsha and Gwen Stefani go bowling together. But at least Gwen lets her Harajuku Slaves out of the house once and a while and dolls them up in expensive, albeit matching, outfits.

The Sabhnanis were convicted this week on 12 counts that included forced labor, involuntary servitude, and harboring illegal aliens, and their crimes against their slaves, according to The Sydney Morning Herald, were far more grave:

Prosecutors likened the conditions of the two maids to a “house of horrors”. They presented evidence that over five years of virtual slavery the women were paid $US100 ($116) a month, made to take cold showers and insufficiently fed. When she was caught trying to steal extra food, Samirah said, she was punished by being made to eat chilli and then, when she became nauseous, forced to eat her own vomit.

We’re not talkin’ Hormel chili either, we’re talking hot chili peppers.

We wish Enung and Samirah, the enslaved housekeepers who had come to the U.S. to support their families back in Indonesia, all the best in their newfound freedom, including tons of therapy, meds, and cash money for their trauma.

As for Varsha, I don’t think I’ll be able to get her scary visage out of my brain for a while. Especially given that she bears a passing resemblance to another famous bogeyman…

…doesn’t she?

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Thanks Stella!

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Bad Influence

July 27th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Hmm, that’s bizarre. A tribe of matching Asian girls dancing mindlessly popped up in España band Dover’s video for “Keep On Moving.” I can’t imagine why.

Maybe they’ve been taking a cue from a little slaveholder somebody we know:

Just a thought!

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Varsha and Gwen Should Get Together and Go Bowling

May 29th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Varsha Mahender Sabhnani (pictured above), and her husband, Mahender Murlidhar Sabhnani, both Long Island millionaires of Indonesian descent, were jailed last week after one of their two illegal Indonesian slaves was found wandering on the Gold Coast wearing only pants and a towel. Authorities suspect that she made a run for it while taking out the morning trash.

AP reports:

“Prosecutors said Thursday that Varsha Sabhnani’s mother, who lives in Indonesia, tried to make the case go away by bribing a son-in-law of one of the servants with the equivalent of $2,500. They also said Varsha Sabhnani had earlier told the other victim that her husband, who still lives in Indonesia, would be arrested unless she followed orders.”

Oh jesus. Enslaving our own? Offering bribes under 5k? It’s truly the devaluasian of human life. Disgraceful.

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Emancipasian Proclamasian

March 27th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Perennial style-biter/pop icon Gwen Stefani will be making a guest judging appearance and performance on American Idol this week for “pop week,” which begins tonight.

She wil, by all assumptions, be bringing her enslaved enclave of Harajuku girls to painstakingly and robotically support her mind-numbing pop mess (“This isn’t Debbie Harry’s dress, it’s mine! Have you ever heard of this wild place called Japan? I invented this groundbreaking musical genre called Rock Steady”) for the performance.

MY FRIENDS!! IT’S TIME.

This is a call to action! We can’t let this go on any longer.

This is our chance to put an end to these years of persecution … live and for America to see.

WE MUST PUT AN END TO THIS ABOMINABLE DISPLAY OF YELLOW SLAVERY AND EMANCIPATE THE HARAJUKU GIRLS.

Here’s the plan:
When that platinum blonde peanut brain’s platform-sandaled foot hits stage, I’ll cause a diversion, and 10-20 of you will rush the stage. The first half of you will hold off security. The other half will grab the Harajukus. Jen will be waiting in a minivan outside of the studio. JUST GET THEM IN THERE.

This is the underground railroad of our century. Don’t let me down.

email diana@disgrasian.com to sign up for the movement.

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