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If Alicia Machado, actress/singer and former Miss Universe, hadn’t quit Twitter, perhaps she would’ve continued to chat with her pal, Mexican singer/actress Paulina Rubio, about the recent public outcry against her prayers for The Chinas. We imagine it might have gone something like…
YoSoyMzUniverse96* Alicia Machado
Me encanta @paurubio, thx 4 ur support w/ all the china drrama! ppl r stoopid
paurubio Paulina Rubio
@yosoymzuniverse96 Hay girl! Dont let haterz hate. All thoz Japanes look the same!
YoSoyMzUniverse96 Alicia Machado
@paurubio wut ppl dont understand is i’m really a good person, jus wanted every1 to pray for those chinese ppl that are being attacked, not the 1s who attacked or nuthing
paurubio Paulina Rubio
@yosoymzuniverse96 besos chica! ppl should be proud that such a hot mama knows so much abt current news affairs. n korea is same place as n asia/s japan, etc. all look same N E wayz Continue reading DOUBLE DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Alicia Machado & Paulina Rubio
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to write a book. At age three, in cursive on construction paper, I wrote tables of contents for imaginary novel chapters. From fifth to eighth grade, I created dozens of terrible young adult fiction book outlines that inspired too-long scribbled “Chapter Ones” in loose leaf notebooks. During high school, I attempted to write poetry collections about my non-existent love life and glamorized ideals of solitude. In college, I would study in the University library and take my breaks strolling through my favorite aisles–particularly the 20th century non-fiction texts, running my fingers over the books’ textured spines and gazing with love over the letters that spelled out titles and author names horizontally, like vertebrae.
As a grown-up writer, I think differently about the idea of publishing a book. I would still love to write one (perhaps with Jen, who is a far better scribe than I), but I now unfortunately know all the other stuff that goes along with the endeavor: book proposals and agents and publishers and politics and big-selling Christmas seasons and the word “niche” and writing from the inside and redundancy and timeliness and nervous breakdowns and writer’s block and what-about-my-other-projects and maybe-I-just-can’t-fucking-do-this and wouldn’t-it-just-be-easier–and-faster-to-have-our-twitterfeed-optioned-as-a-lame-William-Shatner-sitcom. I mean, hell, real writers are miserable for a reason.
Whenever somebody I know publishes a book, particularly a second or third (God help me if I ever befriend Mr. Chopra), my chest heaves a little. I’m jealous. I’m really, really jealous. I’m obviously proud and happy for them, I probably love their book and can’t wait to get my copy signed–but I’m also cringing inside, mad at myself for not realizing such an important dream, even though I arguably write thousands of words every week. Bloggers publish words on a virtual page that isn’t really a page; it doesn’t smell of ink and paper, you can’t dogear it, you can’t lend it to a friend and ask for it back. There’s just something about a book.
When I see something like this:
Continue reading A Literary Situation
And the award for the weekend’s most insane headline goes to…
Let’s take a moment to appreciate the vast array of whatthefuckery here:
There’s a porn actor named Stephen Hill (professional name: Steve Driver). Here’s his MySpace. Less than a month ago, he had listed his mood as “good.” And here he is, posing with what appears to be a samurai sword (photo via CBS News’ Crimesider):
As a result of a workplace dispute which results in Hill’s firing and eviction, Hill attacks one of his colleagues Tuesday night at a social gathering in the San Fernando Valley in LA, aka Porn Valley, with…a samurai sword that was a movie prop.
Fellow porn actor Herbert Wong (professional name: Tom Dong, pictured below), who Continue reading Porn, Murder, A Police Standoff: Just Another Weekend In L.A.
Filed under: Herbert Wong, Insane Headlines, L.A. Stories, Only In L.A., Porn, Porn Murder, Porn Valley, Stephen Hill, Steve Driver, The Adult Entertainment Industry, The Porn Industry, The San Fernando Valley, Tom Dong, Unfunny Stuff, WTF?
For the fifth time since March 23, young children have been attacked at school in China, this time leaving 7 children and 2 adults dead. The attack occurred Wednesday in northern Shaanxi Province, and the perpetrator, Wu Huanming, 48–who killed his victims with a kitchen cleaver before killing himself–was, like the other assailants, a middle-aged man acting alone. This rampage is the deadliest one of the five to date; eight children were left dead after the first attack in Fujian Province, but all 33 children who were either stabbed or beaten with a hammer in the other attacks, which took place over three consecutive days in late April, survived.
People in China are trying to make sense of these horrific copycat crimes, with experts citing everything from rampant untreated mental illness to rapid social change to anger at the government, the NY Times reports. Well, some people in China are trying to make sense of this, anyway. Huang Hung, a columnist for China Daily who also blogs on sina.com and for The Daily Beast, wrote after the fourth attack that there has also been a great deal of silence on the subject. While supporting the government’s tightened control of the reporting on the attacks in order to prevent more copycat crimes, Ms. Huang was critical of what she perceived to be a general desire to sweep these events under the rug:
A lot of people agree with the government that incidents like these should be swept under the rug and forgotten; they believe in a kind of selective memory that only allows the past to be remembered in a glorious way. The fact that we do not publicly light a candle to remember the children who were murdered is not just wrong for moral reasons; it is a fundamental denial of the problems in our society.
But can you really have it both ways? That is, how can you expect the Chinese people to begin to understand why this is happening and deal if the government is restricting the flow of information on the attacks? That’s a little bit too much like the “Do as I say, not as I do” parenting model, which has been proven to never work. And when there’s a trend of mass murder of schoolchildren–attempted and otherwise–going on in your country, the government is, in essence, the parent, and it has to take the lead–by shunning shame and silence on the matter–in order to protect its children.
Filed under: 7 Children Hacked to Death in Chinese Kindergarten, 7 Chinese Schoolchildren Dead, Attack on Chinese Kindergarten, Attack on Chinese Schoolchildren, China, China Censorship, Copycat Crimes, Copycat Murders, Fifth Attack on Chinese Schoolchildren, The Chinese Government, WTF?
Dear Geniuses at Apple,
It’s no secret that Jen and I are longtime members of your cult. We live the iLife and it feels good. Jen–who prefers a corded home phone (I know, I know) and doesn’t like to be put in a corner (aka reachable while on-the-go)–even has an iPhone. Do you realize what a coup that is? I got a text from her once and I fainted. Oh, Apple.
I don’t have an iPhone. I never have. I like the tactile sensation of my dexterous thumbs on actual buttons, tippity-tappitying messages at a wild rate and sending them off with a flourish that people can not only see, but hear and feel. I love the clunk of a Blackberry. I love that I can drop it in my coffee without breaking my own heart (I once washed someone’s iPhone 3GS by accident and it ripped my soul to shreds). I mean, I live off of my phone, and I rest easier knowing that any malfunction/loss can be dealt with outside of the Genius Bar. You can have my heart, Apple, but you cannot have my phone.
At least that’s what I’ve been saying since June of 2007, when you first released the slick, zippy, fun-filled, multi-functional, who-needs-a-brain-to-work-this-incredible-gadget iPhone. Series after series I’ve watched pour from your beautifully austere stores, right into the pockets of each and every one of my friends and loved ones. My friend develops apps that I can’t use. My sister texts me emoticons that I can’t see. I stick out like a sore thumb at rock shows when everyone starts recording and editing video with just a raise of their right arm and a swish of their finger. Still, I’ve held out. A lone ranger in a valley of touchscreen cattle.
But April 19, when excitement began to brew over the new super-secret iPhone prototype (apparently, the model meant to be released in a month) that got leaked and thoroughly dissected by the cool kids at Gizmodo, my ears perked up for the first time.
Filed under: Apple, Apple Engineer, Bullies, Editor Gizmodo, Engineer Loses iPhone Prototype At Bar, Fitting In, Genius Bar, Gizmodo, Gray Powell, iPhone, Iphone Leak, iPhone prototype, Jason Chen, Palo Alto, Police Raid Jason Chen's Home, WTF?
Oh, THERE you are Bobby Trendy!
I didn’t see you there.
Oh wait, let me restate that: I didn’t want to see you there.
Last night, I had a dream that I was sitting at a sushi bar, watching the chef work with his knife before me. He sliced two slim pieces of soft, red flesh and placed them gently on balls of warm sushi rice. He leaned over the bar and laid the two sushi pieces on the wooden platform in my reach, an inch away from a small pat of wasabi and wet pile of dusty-pink pickled ginger.
“This is whale,” he said, looking me in the eye. “No soy sauce.”
Taken aback, I said, “No. Thank you, no whale please.”
“Whale,” he said, now stern. “You eat it. Chef’s special Omakase.” He tightened the grip on his Shun knife.
“No. I can’t. I can’t,” I whimpered, overwhelmed suddenly by fear.
“EAT IT,” he said. And suddenly we were no longer at a sushi bar but in a cavernous black room, with him pinning me against a chair while shoving large, bloody pieces of whale meat into my mouth. “EEEEEEAT IIIIIT!”
The nightmare, of course, stemmed from a week of reading about the recent bust of Santa Monica sushi resto The Hump, an eatery known for serving exotic sushi. The place was busted after two undercover females with a lipstick camera ordered the $600 Omakase menu and requested whale, then were awarded eight pieces. They pocketed samples of the meat and later had them analyzed, identifying the meat as that from the endangered sei whale.
LAT describes the resulting charge:
Named in the complaint, filed in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles, were Typhoon Restaurant Inc., owner of the Hump, and chef Kiyoshiro Yamamoto, 45, of Culver City.
Filed under: Busts, Charges, Endangered Species, Illegal Sale of Marine Mammal Products, Illegally Selling Whale Meat, Kiyoshiro Yamamoto, Los Angeles, Ocean Brethren, Omakase, Santa Monica, Sei Whale, Sushi, Sushi Chef, The Hump, This is Bullshit, Typhoon Restaurant Inc., Whale Meat, White Mercedes, WTF?
We know the bar is low for both teenagers and actresses when it comes to awareness of global events and having brains larger than peas and all, but we were still stunned when we read little Taylor Momsen‘s response to OK! Magazine’s inquiry about her thoughts on the Haiti earthquake fallout.
“Um, right now I’m trying to just finish my record and getting through the last season of Gossip Girl for right now. So not so much thinking about that.”
Added Taylor, “But it’s awesome that everyone is ya know working towards a good cause.”
Filed under: 7.0 Earthquake In Haiti, Actresses, Haiti, Haiti Earthquake, Huh?, Idiots, Nonsense, People That Must Live In A Fucking Cave, People That Should Never Be Considered Role Models, Resenting the Young, Shock, Taylor Momsen, Teenagers, Wacktresses, WTF?, Young Hollywood
Sen. Dan Inouye of Hawaii, a WWII veteran and now the third-longest-serving senator in American history, may have voted in roll call for Al Franken’s amendment to a larger Defense appropriations bill, which would end federal funding for defense contractors who abuse mandatory arbitration clauses to deny victims of assault (including sexual assault, like rape) the right to bring their case to court. But that amendment is now in danger at Inouye’s hands.
Inouye’s office, sources say, has been lobbied by defense contractors adamant that the language of the Franken amendment would leave them overly exposed to lawsuits and at constant risk of having contracts dry up. The Senate is considering taking out a provision known as the Title VII claim, which (if removed) would allow victims of assault or rape to bring suit against the individual perpetrator but not the contractor who employed him or her.
Well, we can’t let those contracts dry up, can we? That would be bad, wouldn’t it?
OH WAIT, prioritizing a bunch of fucking contracts over the rights of sexual assault victims would be more than bad. It would be a total fucking EPIC FAIL.
Time to tell that to Grandpa. Email or Call Inouye’s office now and tell him you don’t want victims forced into secret arbitration after they’ve suffered through the worst of violations, just because groups like KBR are making a big stink about being “exposed.”
Inouye’s office contact information is as follows:
722 Hart Building
Washington, D.C. 20510-1102
300 Ala Moana Boulevard
Honolulu, Hawaii 96850-4975
101 Aupuni Street, #205
Hilo, Hawaii 96720
Through a unique application of copyright laws, Germany has enforced a de facto ban on the publishing of Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf since 1945. As the expiration date (2015) for those copyright laws near, a debate has risen over whether or not it could be advisable to publish a version of the text again, under controlled circumstances, for critical purposes.
In Japan, however, East Press (a publisher that has already done interpretations of many classic texts, from Kafka’s Metamorphosis to Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment to Marx’s Das Kapital) published a manga version of Mein Kampf this year, to the tune of some 45,ooo book sales.
From Anime News Network:
Kōsuke Maruo, a 32-year-old editor at East Press, explained why his company produced the manga version of Mein Kampf: “It is a famous book, but there are few who have read it. I think it is [studying] material for knowing Hitler, a man synonymous with ‘devil,’ and what sort of thinking created that level of tragedy.”
While the intent may be educational, the execution still seems questionable to me. If someone hasn’t read and or studied Mein Kampf, should their first exposure really be with illustrations and interpretive storyboards?
Frankly, I don’t think so. But try telling 45,000 manga fans that.
WHAT UP Y’ALL! I’M INVITING YOU TO THA SEXXXIEST WEEKLY PARTY OF THA YEEARRRRRR!!! HOT DJZ, HOT LADIEZ, HOT BEATZ, ICE-COLD MUTHAFUCKIN’ COCKTAILZ! IT’S HOT FOR TEACHER NIGHT AT THA FUEL SPORTS BAR–WASHINGTON STATE’Z MOST EXCLUSIVE NIGHT SPOT! LADIEZ WEAR YOUR CLASSROOM FINEST, AND GUYZ WHO R BAD WILL GET THEMSELVEZ SPANKKKED! DRESS TO IMPRESS… $10 JOINT COVER $5 FUEL… STARTS AT 9:30PM SO COME EARLY TO AVOID LINEZ!
Oh…right. One more thing: This week’s bonanza will be hosted by Mary Kay LeTourneau, the creepiest child rapist (with the wackass-est hair), like, EVER. And her former sixth-grader–oops, HUSBAND–will be spinning tracks as well.
Yeah. We vomited, too.
Filed under: Child Rape, Creepy Tingles, Eww, Fucking Students, Hot For Teacher, Is It Just Us or Does Mary Kay Look Pretty Good For 47?, Mary Kay LaTourneau, Statutory Rape, Vili Fualaau, WTF?, Yuckers
FINALLY! A web site showcasing Asian women in all of their glory: holding great jobs, holding down the fort, holding hands!