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Y’all may have noticed that Diana’s been away from the blog for some time now. She’s been super busy doing all kinds of cool things, like starting her own company, being an auntie, and making artisanal soups (I shit you not). I don’t even get to see her as much as I’d like to these days, which makes me sad, so you can imagine how stoked I was when we got together this past criminally-hot weekend, to just soak in some rays. Soak in some rays Asian-style, that is:
I’m the one in turquoise, obvi.
Thanks, Jasmine and Oliver!
Filed under: Anti-Tanning, Bank Robbing Apparel, Beachwear, China, Chinese Trends, Face-Kini, I'd Love To See These In the Point Break Sequel, skin whitening, Tanning, The Opposite of Tanorexia, Weird Chinese Behavior, WTF?
For the cover of FHM Philippines’ March 2012 issue, someone thought it’d be an awesome idea to surround 20 year-old Filipina actress Bela Padilla with a group of black models. The racial message of the photo’s bad enough. Light-skinned model–or can we just say white here because that’s how it reads?– on a pedestal surrounded by dark-skinned models in subordinate positions. Then consider the fact that this is published for the Philippines, a country where it’s estimated half of the women bleach their skin.
Then there’s the caption. OH MY GOD, THE CAPTION.
After a Change.org petition was created to protest this cover, it’s been pulled and sent back into “the shadows,” back to the place where our world’s latent colonialist fantasies continue to reside, sipping their gin cocktails and lamenting “the good ol’ days.”
[via Daily Beast]
Filed under: Bela Padilla, Colonialist Fantasies, FHM, FHM Philippines, FHM Philippines Racist Cover, Filipina, Filipinas, Imperialist Fantasies, Men's Magazines, Pilipinas, Pinays, Racist Magazine Covers, SMDH, SMH, the Philippines, WTF?
This Snapple Ad Pitting An Asian Man vs. A Black Man In A Battle For Superiority While Two White Men Watch Makes Me VERY Uncomfortable
Okay. So lemme get this straight.
The yellow man is (yellow) lemonade, and the black man is (black) tea.
They disagree on which one is superior.
So they duke it out while two white men look on approvingly as spectators?
Is this Snapple ad promoting tea or a race war? Seriously, I can’t tell.
[via Feminist Philosophers]
Thanks, Sara and BB for your thoughts!
When you hear the words “McDonald’s Asian Salad” uttered together–which bills itself as “the perfect combination of deliciousness with snow peas, mandarin oranges and edamame…topped with Newman’s Own® Low-Fat Sesame Ginger Dressing”–is “racist” the first thing that comes to mind?
Or do you, like me, think: “How many times does your mom have to drop you on your head as a baby for you to order salad at McDonald’s?”
Thanks, Fitz and Meatbars!
Filed under: Asian Food, Asian Salads, Fast Food, Fast Food Salads, Graffiti, Harmony, I'm Lovin' It, McDonald's, McDonald's Asian Salad, McDonald's Premium Asian Salad, McDonald's Salads, Mickey D's, Racist Food, Tagging, WTF?
What you’re about to see is real. Dan Adler is not a troll. Dan Adler is a Democratic candidate running for a seat in California’s 36th congressional district. Apropos of nothing, Dan Adler’s wife is Korean.
This message was not paid for by Dan Adler for Congress.
So, apparently when you have a hobbit running your congressional campaign, magical things happen.
Gosh, I’m glad you asked, Korean Immigrant Dry Cleaning Lady With Issues! You see, a mensch is a stand-up guy, a person of great integrity. Kinda like a hobbit with less hairy feet.
Oh, and also: a mensch is someone who “gets shit done.” Just ask any Old White Weight Lifting Lady Surrounded by Brown Men in Banana Hammocks!
Filed under: 36th Congressional District of California, CAA, California Politics, Creative Artists Agency, Dan Adler for Congress, Hobbits, Jenna Adler, Judasians, Koreans With Issues, Magical Things, Mensches, Patty Duke, Political Campaigns, Sean Astin, What's a Mensch?, WTF?
Levi’s has recently introduced a new denim style for men called the “Ex-Girlfriend Jean.”
Why anyone would want to be reminded of their ex-GF especially in the crotch area is beyond me, but what do I know? I don’t have a cock and balls.
Neither, apparently, does the wearer of said “Ex-Girlfriend Jean.” Which explains why Continue reading Why It’s Called The “Ex-Girlfriend Jean”
Filed under: All My Exes Live in Texas, Bad Idea Jeans, Chicks, Couples Who Wear Skinny Jeans Together Don't Stay Together, Denim, Dude Looks Like a Lady, Dudes, Emo Wear, Ex-Girlfriend Jean, Ex-Girlfriend Jeans, Ex-Girlfriends, Exes, How to Emasculate Yourself, Jeans, Lady Jeans, Levi's, Levi's Ex-Girlfriend Jean, Skinny Ass Jeans, Skinny Jeans, Skinny Jeans for Men, Skinny Olympics, WTF?
For a limited time only, we can go to the Congo for $799.99!
Our “Congo Excursion 2011″ features an “8′ Wave Slide, Rock Wall w/Rope, Trapeze Bar, Belt Swing, Glider Swing, Telescope, Binoculars & More.”
The “& More” refers to:
- 1 tic tac toe spinner panel
- 1 steering wheel
- Multi striped canopy
- Mass rape
- The worst sexual violence in the world
- Malaria, diarrhea, pneumonia, and malnutrition as leading death-causers
- Anywhere from 3 to 7 million dead since 1998
- Nearly half of the dead (47%) being children
And yet, speaking of, our Congo Excursion 2011 curiously fails to feature any black children:
Filed under: Africa, Bad ideas, Bad Marketing Ideas, Children, Children's Games, Children's Toys, Congo Excursion 2011 Playset, Countries in Crisis, Death Tolls, Democratic Republic of the Congo, DR Congo, DRC, Genocide, Gorilla Playsets, Instability, Jungle Gyms, Mass Rape, Rebel Groups, Refugees, Sexual Violence, The Congo, Who Approved This Shit?, WTF?
Hardass Asian Parents, do you wish your lazy, spoiled, selfish children would show some gratitude for all the sacrifices you’ve made for them by offering up a smile now and then? Is that too much to ask???
Welp, if it is, you can simply force their little mouths open with the Electro Smile, a device allegedly invented by a Japanese scientist that sends electric shocks to a child’s cheeks, producing a smile that “lasts for Days.”
The gadget warns of an “only slight twitch side effect,” along with an only slight your-child-hating-you-forever-and-thinking-you’re-a-sadistic-fuck-for-the-rest-of-his-or-her-life (deep breath) effect.
[UPDATE: The photo above is for a real product, albeit one that doesn't deliver electroshocks (sorry, Tiger Moms). And the text is fake and not just the result of a horrible translation. The real product, as I learned from the comments section of Neatorama, is called a Kami Kami sensor, and it counts the number of bites children make while eating their food. Which actually seems way less useful than an electroshock smile therapy tool, don't you think?]
Filed under: Alleged Weird Japanese Behavior, Electroshock Therapy, Electroshock Therapy for Smiling, Fake, Gadgets, Gizmos, Hoaxes, Inventions, Japanese Gadgets, Japanese Inventions, Paging John Yoo, Real or Fake, Sadistic Stuff, Smile, Smiling is Nice, The Electro Smile, Torture, Torture Devices, Twisted Sister, Useful Things, Weird Japanese Behavior, WTF?
Who the hell thinks its okay for a tabloid rag to speculate on the chromosomal condition of toddlers–in any case, but especially based on a few grainy photos?
For the record, Star, Down Sydrome isn’t “drama.”
Seriously. This magazine marks a new cultural low. AND THAT’S SAYING SOMETHING.
Whoever said that a lazy racist isn’t an effective one?
Last week, Rush Limbaugh’s ching-chong impression of Hu Jintao caused a major stir. Some people were shocked, some weren’t surprised, heaps were deeply offended, scads joined in on a collective smack of the forehead. More definitively, a group of Asian-American lawmakers, led by Sen. Leland Yee (D-CA), demanded an apology for the comments.
Limbaugh–always a victim of the left–called his racist tirade “a service.” But I call it a big, sweaty, hairy back off of which even more brainless (Imagine!), more hateful, more ignorant, more racist dickburgers saw the opportunity to leapfrog, into a space much more dark, even dangerous.
Take for example, a death threat that was sent by one of those ignorant dickburgers to Sen. Yee, by fax, on Wednesday, in defense of Limbaugh:
Filed under: "Marxist Nigger Thug", anonymity, Chickenshits, Chinglish, Damn Foreigners, Death Threats, Fax Machines, Fish Heads, In Defense Of Cheesdicks, Leland Yee, Marxists, Nooses, Racist Epithets, Rush Limbaugh, This is Bullshit, WTF?
So my latest troll down YouTube lane began with a link from my friend, Doug. It led to a video (removed from YouTube today) posted by an American gent in his fifties (and bearing an uncanny likeness to Captain Kangaroo). In it, he wears a custom hachimaki and dances wackily in front of the screen projection of a music video from the J-pop band Perfume. The man, who goes by the YouTube handle Perfume444, gleefully professes his longstanding love for Perfume–particularly his favorite member of the trio, A-Chan, as he makes kissing motions to her video lips. He smiles the biggest grin I’ve seen on a human being in weeks. The piece ends with a scrolling caption: “I really, really, really LOVE Perfume!!!”
I thought, instantly: DISGRASIAN. A snap judgment, yes, but I doubt I was the only one who would have made it.
But I needed to see more. So I clicked through to his YouTube channel. Quickly, I saw that Frank (Perfume444) had something to say for himself in the “About Me” section:
PERFUME 444 CHANNEL IS NOT ABOUT PEOPLE SEEING ME…ITS ABOUT ME THANKING PERFUME FOR ALL THAT THEY HAVE DONE !!!
I have been to Japan in 2003 and 2005.. I play Drums so did 2 small tours in Japan. I LOVE JAPAN !!!! I miss it so much. The Japanese People are so kind and wonderful. I really feel like my soul is Japanese. About Perfume… I got into Perfume in early 2006. I was looking for Japan stuff on youtube, all kinds of music from Japan and I found Perfume. The song Akihabalove was the first one I heard. I fell in love with that song and the girls. I watched the beehive cam on youtube and watched them grow up. So my love for them is like a father daughter love. Not sex because they were so young at the time. Even now I still see them as big kids, NOT sex objects. Anyway…about the Music… I was hooked, It was so different then anything I heard before. my all time favorite song is Seventh heaven…It all ways makes me cry. I also love Secret Secret , Foundation, computer city, Macaroni, Edge , ” jenny in a bad mood ” wonder 2, Polyrhythm,Baby cruising love , Vitamin Drop, yes Its heard to pick just one song. A-Chan is my favorite. If I was 20 yrs old I would want to marry her. But Im not ! Im 55 yrs old. But perfume music makes me feel happy and young I wish I could find some one like A-Chan. She is the most beautiful person I have ever seen. her heart and sole are heaven ! The person that marries her will be the luckiest person on earth.
Well, shit, the words were sweet as perfume. AND LITTERED WITH RED FLAGS. (Quick, another snap judgment: Frank is a full-on Nippon perv who clearly thinks of the 21 and 22-year-old members of Perfume as sex objects. I mean, hello, read the “About Me” excerpt!)
But first, more proof. More videos. Needed to see more creepy, pervy, proofy videos. But my eyes slid to the right and glimpsed this user comment:
Continue reading He Really, Really, Really Loves Perfume
Filed under: 4Chan, A-Chan, Captain Kangaroo, Creepy Old Dudes, Frank Evins, Happy Birthday Kashiyuka Video, Internet Memes, J-Pop, Japan, Kashiyuka, Nippon, Nocchi, Perfume, Perfume444, Pervs, Snap Judgments, Squirrel Glider, Wormholes, WTF?, YouTube, YouTube Is a Sordid Place