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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Mirai Nagasu

April 15th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Happy birthday to Mirai Nagasu, who turns 17 tomorrow!

There really isn’t anything we don’t love about the figure skater, who placed fourth at the Winter Games. We love that she’s from our neck of the woods (SGV, Holla!). We love her face, her crazy-high cheekbones and the way her eyes crinkle when she smiles, which she does a lot. We love how devoted Mirai is to her mama, who’s been battling thyroid cancer. (Of her mother’s prognosis, she’s said, “They say there’s an 80 percent chance of her being cured. But that 20 percent is still something to think about. It’s like getting a B on a test. It’s good but not the best.” We love that, too, OBVS.) And we love that she’s accomplished so much at such a tender age.

Waitaminute. No we don’t.

Because going to your first Olympics, and–despite the naysayers (ahem, Sasha “Bitter Much” Cohen) and the nonstop Queen Yu-Na hype–performing quite beautifully while presenting yourself as the future of figure skating at SIXTEEN when you should be, like, getting wasted on Captain Morgan’s Rum outside a suburban 7-11 or having your thumbs fall off because you’re texting your stupid friends all day long…well, that just makes the rest of us who are much older, much less Olympic, and much more dependent on alcohol look really really baaaaaaaaad.

So maybe there’s one thing we don’t love about Mirai Nagasu. If she were just a little less perfect, she’d be um what’s the word oh right…perfect.

Would you consider working on that in your 17th year, Mirai?

In the meantime, happy birthday, you adorable little showoff!

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HONORASIAN ALERT: Joannie Rochette

February 26th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Thursday night, were there two Asians on the women’s figure skating medal podium…or three?

There was gold medal winner Kim Yu-na of South Korea, who skated perfectly, set a new scoring record, and was, according to the NY Times, “taken aback by her own crying” at the end of her performance; and there was silver medal winner Mao Asada of Japan, who failed to nail two of her jumps, looked stoically sad about being the first loser during the medal ceremony, and later described herself as “regretful”…and then there was Canada’s Joannie Rochette, who stayed in the competition and won the bronze only four days after her mother’s sudden death from a heart attack, who, after the competition, recounted how her mother was sometimes her biggest critic, how when Joannie would score a 98 on a test, she’d wonder, “What about those other two points?”

So let’s see…

We had perfection and an unexpected display of emotion, stoicism and regret, and memories of a Hardass Mama willing her child to succeed?

Sounds like an Asian sweep to me!

[CNN: Rochette earns bronze, thanks her late mother]

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An Olympic Medal By Default Would Smell As Sweet

February 25th, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by Diana

In the nail-biter Final of the women’s 3,000-meter speed skate relay last night, the South Korean anchor whizzed across the finish line in gold medal position–with Chinese rivals scowling at their tail, Canada scrambling just behind, and the U.S. over a half-lap away.

Minutes later, South Korea got disqualified for this bump, which happened during the last turn:

A little bump 'n' grind

And with the leaders out, et voilà, the lagging U.S. team instantly became a team of bronze medalists.

Luck be four ladies tonight!

Continue reading An Olympic Medal By Default Would Smell As Sweet

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BABEWATCH: Miho Takagi

February 23rd, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Diana


Name: Miho Takagi

Age: 15 (please don’t perv out, pervs)

Occupation: Student, Olympic speed skater

Hails from: Japan

Why She’s A Babe: Though she hasn’t medaled in these Olympic games, Takagi catches our eye every time she’s on the ice. With a baby-sweet grin, bitchin’ lean muscles, and cute-as-hell pixie bob haircut, she always manages to look both athletic, slick and chic–even in a gold lamé racing suit.

And about that uniform… many netizens saw published practice photos of the teen and gleefully pointed out that her suit revealed a dainty G-string, but it turned out the Continue reading BABEWATCH: Miho Takagi

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Apolo Anton “What Seven Medals?” Ohno

February 22nd, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana


Name:

Age: 27

Hails from: Seattle, WA

Occupation: Olympic short-track speed skater

Known for: Championship bling. After winning his seventh Olympic medal on Saturday night, becoming the most decorated American Winter Olympic athlete of all time. Proving that the time-tested technique of Hardass Asian Parenting, via single father Yuki, can pay off in spades. Showcasing excellent hip control. Somehow being extremely hot despite a chronic case of chin pubes.

Apolo’s name was derived from the Greek words “Ap,” (“steer away from”) and “lo,” Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Apolo Anton “What Seven Medals?” Ohno

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Leave The Creepy Russian Ice Dancers Alone!

February 22nd, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Last night, controversial Russian Ice Dancers Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin revealed their toned-down Aboriginal-themed costumes during the free skate performance that brought them to a current bronze medal position.

What a difference a few leaves make

Hmm. We’re still searching for the “interesting,” “respectful” and “Southeast Asian” nuances that this team keeps referring to regarding their costumes. Surely all of that “big research” they did to keep the performance authentic paid off somewhere.

Give us a few minutes days months years. This may take awhile.

[NBC Olympics: Russian Dancers Make Slight Changes To Costumes]

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Mo Tae-Bum

February 18th, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

When I turned 21, I received a wealth of gifts. They included:


  • sixer of Smirnoff ice
  • knockoff version of Barbie’s little sister, Skipper
  • 3 “Your first time coming here legally?? It’s on the muzzafuzzin’ house!!!” shots seeminly comprised of sugar and scope
  • my first DVD porn
  • 13 unidentified flying cocktails
  • framed photo of me with a bunch of swell college chicks in dresses holding up cocktails
  • hickey
  • hangover

SIMILARLY, on Korean Olympic speed skater’s Mo Tae-Bum’s 21st birthday (February 15), he received…

Continue reading BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Mo Tae-Bum

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Heavy Stuff: DQ’d From The Olympics

February 17th, 2010 | 18 comments | Posted by Diana

Aya Yasuda, a Japanese athlete at her first Olympics, was disqualified on Monday from the Women’s Luge competition in Vancouver.





No, she didn’t get busted for juicing. And she wasn’t lying about her gender. She didn’t screw an Olympic judge. She didn’t put a hit on any of her opponents.

But she did accidentally bring too much weight with her to the Games.

Lemme ‘splain. From Yahoo! Sports:

“Yasuda, who tips the scales at a slender 60 kg (132 lbs), miscalculated the additional weight lugers are allowed to carry as ballast and failed the compulsory weigh-in after her first run at the Whistler Sliding Centre.

‘During a weight check at the finish of run one the athlete’s additional weight exceeded the maximum allowed which was 13.1 kilos,” race organisers said. “Her actual weight was 13.3 kilos.’”


Athletic disqualifiquasians don’t often shock me, but darn it all–this one does. I mean, an Asian busted for bad math? That’s like, UNTHINKABLE!

[Yahoo! Sports: Japan's Slender Slider Has Weighty Problem]

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