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“I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man [very odd wording, no?--Ed.]. I am very blessed to be who I am…these years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn’t even know existed.”
I can’t help thinking that if this had happened sooner, the world wouldn’t have had to endure this:
Happy birthday to William Hung, who turned 27 this week!
Though he hasn’t produced a record in years, Hung has somehow hung (ahem) out prominently in our minds–like sticky rice on the back of a wooden spoon–until present. Most Hung-related memories make us want to drag him out from his hole just to slap him silly, just because he so famously embodied for millenials every marshmallow-faced, Engrish-speaking, penis-shrinking stereotype we (like our hero, Bruce Lee) have ever tried to kick to the curb.
So here’s hoping now that Hung’s a little bit older, he’s also a bit wiser (and for all of you quick-draw commenters, I know he’s plenty book smart, but we’re talking wisdom here). Maybe he’ll find a way to channel all of that “attitude and charisma” into something wonderful, like medical school or law school (kidding)! Listen, we’re stoked as long as he’s not making us all look like clowns. Anymore.
Filed under: American Idol, Birthdays, Book Smart, Bruce Lee, Clowning, Clowns, Engrish, Engrish as a Second Language, Fat Faces, Getting Older, Marshmallow, Never Resisting a Chance to Exploit Yourself As A Stereotype, Penis Shrinkage, Shame, Stereotypes, William Hung, Wisdom
The results are in from the disgrasianation-wide vote over this video “homage” to William Hung.
And the people have spoken.
People.com just did an American Idol “Where Are They Now?”, which reported that William Hung has made $1 million smackers since never appearing on the show.
YAO MING: I can’t believe I am being photographed with this snaggle-toothed, midget attention whore. Tomorrow I fire publicist and agent.
WILLIAM HUNG: Is it not very funny that he is such tall man and I am much small?
YAO MING: Please don’t speak.
WILLIAM HUNG: How many touchdown you make playing with Houston Rocket?
YAO MING: I thought you studied at Cal?
WILLIAM HUNG: I am college drop out. No room for test tube station when I am fight alllll lovely ladies off William Hung! Hung is in the howwzza wowza! I star in music video wazzzzup!!!
YAO MING: I’m an NBA All-Star. I’m a VISA spokesperson. I know Steve Jobs.
WILLIAM HUNG: I like purple!
YAO MING: Just take the picture.
Here’s the good news, according to a story about models in today’s Sunday (No)Styles section: “For a long time, one rarely saw Asian models on fashion catwalks. Then markets opened in China, Japan, and Korea and the beauty of women like Ai Tominaga, Hye Park and Du Juan became irresistible…” In other words, ASIAN MODELS RULE.
And, in a separate Styles story about Asian pop stars (or the lack thereof), the bad news: “Asked to name the most popular Asian-American pop solo singer today, older generations might say the Hawaiian singer Don Ho, but younger Asian-American artists agreed on one person: WILLIAM HUNG…”
Since William Hung may be the primary reason why we started this website, I thought I would give him a personal shout-out:
1) You are the second coming of Long Duk Dong, the original DISGRASIAN whose indelible yellow-face appearance in “Sixteen Candles” ruined my adolescence.
2) You still can’t sing.
3) Your teeth are still f-ed up. Sue your orthodontist.
4) You’re fat.
5) Not only are you fat, you seem to be afflicted with “White Man’s Puff,” a disorder previously thought by geneticists to be limited to Caucasian men over 25 who drink too much beer.
6) You are the reason why Asian kids will get their asses kicked in grade school for the next 20 years. Happy?
7) I hate you.
all the best,