DISGRASIAN™

Lindsay Lohan Potentially Banned From India, Glad To Still Be On List At All Major LA Hotspots

UK’s Telegraph is reporting that Lindsay Lohan could be blacklisted from visiting India due to a visa fudge during her highly (self-)publicized trip to film a BBC documentary. Apparently her tweets weren’t only annoying to us.

From the Telegraph:

“The Mean Girls star had arrived in India to film an expose of child labour and trafficking of women which was later broadcast on BBC3, but she provoked a row when she claimed to have personally rescued 40 children.

In a series of updates on the social networking site Twitter, she boasted of her role in a daring raid on a child labour sweatshop and claimed the experience had changed her life….

…Now she may not be able to visit India again after officials looked at her case and found she had failed to apply for a work visa for her trip.“

Continue reading Lindsay Lohan Potentially Banned From India, Glad To Still Be On List At All Major LA Hotspots

Filed under: BBC, Celebrity Twitterers, Celebutards, Crawl In A Hole Already Lindsay, Documentaries, Doing Good, Idiots, India, Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, More Harm Than Good, Real-Time Documentation Of Yourself Breaking The Law, Thanks For The Effort, Twitter, Visa Problems, Whoopsieeee

Scotty Lago Wins Big In Vancooter

GIRRRRRRL!





Something tells me your parents are not gonna be swayed by the whole “But it was a BRONZE MEDAL!!!” thing.

You might get disowned and be forced to move far away. In the event that you need a place to stay, please do not hesitate to email us.

[Zimbio: Scotty Lago Pics Send Him Home]
[TMZ: Olympian Scotty Lago -- To The Victor Goes...]

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Thanks, Jasmine!

Filed under: A Life In Pictures, Awkward Moments, Bad Photos, Boarders Are Hot, Bronze Medal, Disownment, Embarrassing, Everybody Loves a Winner, Getting Head, Incriminating Photos, Love Bites, Olympic Medals, Parents, Scotty Lago, Snowboarders, the Olympics, Vancooter, Vancouver Olympics, Whoopsieeee

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! That Nerdy Little O’Keefe Gang

Early twenty-something boys don’t catch a lot of breaks, it’s true. Sure, they’ve started wearing ties to work–but they’re still making coffee. They spend dinner on the couch with $5 footlongs, a bong, the roommate who shits twice as much and never buys toilet paper. They have unexplainable indoor furniture (1980s rolling desk, black entertainment stand, armless teal fabric La-Z-Boy knockoff) on their outdoor balcony. Their early twenty-something ex-girlfriend is now (joyfully) screwing a thirty-something with a tastefully furnished starter house and an Audi.

So there’s a part of me that understands why the four guys in the “O’Keefe Gang” (that little nickname is just so adowwable) dressed up as telephone company workers to tap Democratic Senator Mary Landrieu’s federal building phones (no, they did not crib this saucy ploy from a Martin Lawrence film), in hopes of embarassing her and taking widespread Conservatard credit for it–typically the kind of instant notariety that only causing a public smear of a non-profit fighting institutionalized disenfranchisement or creating the world’s biggest timesuck can earn you. They wanted to be important! They wanted to count for something! AWW!

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! That Nerdy Little O’Keefe Gang

Filed under: ACORN, Anti-Feminists, Conservatards, Flogging, Illegal Activities, James O'Keefe, Mary Landrieu, Penis Monologues, Pimp Costume, Sen. Mary Landrieu, The O'Keefe Gang, Whoopsieeee, William Flanagan Son, Wiretapping

Lesson for 2010: Be Careful Making Promises

Chad Ochocinco–crazy cocky, yet kinda lovable–properly hyped up an imminent Bengals victory in last night’s SNF matchup versus the Jets during a pre-game interview with Bob Costas. He also added a wager:

From FNN:

“If Revis shuts me down I will change my name back to Johnson,” Ochocinco told NBC’s Bob Costas on the network’s pre-game show. “That’s how confident I am. It’s not going to happen.”

Continue reading Lesson for 2010: Be Careful Making Promises

Filed under: 2010, Abysmal Defeats, Ass-Whoopings, Bob Costas, Chad Johnson, Chad Ochocinco, Change Is the New Change, Cincinnati Bengals, Embarrassing, Empty Promises, It's All In A Name, Name Changers, New York Jets, Pregame Injury, Promises Promises, Wagers, When Those Awful Piano Lessons Pay Off, Whoopsieeee

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Tiger Woods

Did too many of Tiger’s low-rent mistresses rise up to tell their tales? Did enough of his sponsors threaten to drop him? We’ll never know.  But one of the world’s greatest atheletes has decided to step away from professional golf to focus, finally, on the shit circus that is his life:

From Tiger Wood’s official site:

I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I’ve done, but I want to do my best to try.

I would like to ask everyone, including my fans, the good people at my foundation, business partners, the PGA Tour, and my fellow competitors, for their understanding. What’s most important now is that my family has the time, privacy, and safe haven we will need for personal healing.

After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.

Again, I ask for privacy for my family and I am especially grateful for all those who have offered compassion and concern during this difficult period.

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Tiger Woods

Filed under: Affairs, Apologies, Dayum, Detroying Your Family, Disrespecting Your Wife, Fucking Around, Fuckups, Golf, Hiatus, Homewrecks, Indefinite Hiatus, Infidelity, Life As A Circus, Low-rentitude, Mistresses, Never the Same, Professional Athletes, Sadness, Tiger Woods, Whoopsieeee

White House Party Crash Test Dummies

News today: For crashing the White House state dinner, the oh-so-tawdry hobknobbers Tareq and Michaele Salahi have, as expected, been served with subpoenas–a decision made today by a congressional panel. The couple will face questioning on January 20 by the House of Representatives Homeland Security Committee.

Continue reading White House Party Crash Test Dummies

Filed under: Embarrassing, Fame Whores, House of Representatives Homeland Security Committee, Humiliasian, India, Michaele Salahi, Reality TV, Reality TV Wannabes, Ruh-Roh, Shameless Behavior, State Dinner, Tareq Salahi, Terrible Couples, The Salahis, The White House, White House Party Crashers, Whoopsieeee

Tiger Woods Wants You To Step Off. Will You?

Tiger Woods’s domestic fiasco is undoubtedly the most exciting squabble of the holiday season so far! For those who missed it, the haiku wrap up is:

He maybe cheated
Elin his wife was so mad
Car crash and scandal

But if you need more details, TMZ has predictably posted the full play-by-play. They will continue to uncover every ugly detail, we’re sure!

Tiger released a statement on his website, kindly asking for the privacy “he deserves” while staying mum:

“As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I’m pretty sore.

This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.

This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.

Continue reading Tiger Woods Wants You To Step Off. Will You?

Filed under: Celebrity "Privacy", Cheating, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Issues, Elin Nordegren, Extramarital Affairs, Mrs. Woods, Privacy, Right to Privacy, Scandals, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Affair, Tiger Woods Crash, Tiger Woods Runs Car Intro Fire Hydrant, TMZ, Whoopsieeee

Threesomes And Pageants Go Together Like Ramma Lamma Lamma Ka Dinga Da Dinga Dong

By now, you’ve likely heard about the just-leaked threesome sex tape (WARNING: previous link extremely, extremely NSFW) featuring Miss Trinidad & Tobago (Anya Ayoung-Chee), her boyfriend Wyatt Gallery, and a close friend that is NOT, as previously alleged, Miss Japan.

The video was snatched when Gallery dropped off his laptop for repair at a Trinidad computer shop, and quickly made waves this week throughout the Internet pervosphere.

I won’t lie. I watched the video twice–even though I knew it was wrong, fueled by my disappointment in Carmen Electra’s newly-”leaked” sex tape, which was a bra-filled snoozefest. And I must say, that Miss Trinidad knows how to party!

Seriously, though… what did Wyatt Gallery ever do to deserve such an incredible stroke of luck (the threesome, not the leak)??? Perhaps he frequently helps little old ladies across the street. With his penis.

[TMZ: Miss Universe Contestants In Three-Way Sex Tape]

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Filed under: Anya Ayoung-Chee, Beauty Pageants, Guilty Pleasures, Laptops, Leaked Tapes, Luck Be Two Ladies Tonight, Lucky Bastards, Miss Japan, Miss T&T, Miss Trinidad & Tobago, Miss Universe, Miss Universe Contestants Nude, Miss Universe Japan, Mistasian Identity, NSFW, Scandals, Sex, Sex Scandals, Sex Tapes, So So Wrong, Three-ways, Threesomes, Trinidad, Whoopsieeee

Meester’s Sex Tape Afoot?

Leighton Meester is the most recent celebrity to find herself embroiled in a juicy sex tape scandal (As if nude photos of Rihanna weren’t enough to tide all you dirty voyeurs for the summer!)–oh, the gossip storm!

With the Season 3 premiere of Gossip Girl nearly three months away, the surfacing of the tape seems ill-timed for an intended publicity stunt, convincing me that Meester had no role in the video going public; she simply has a dick ex-boyfriend looking to make a quick buck off of the fact that he once tapped a young actress’s arse.

And so my heart breaks a little for the poor girl–although not because she got busted screwing on camera (which is pretty much her own irresponsible, 21st century problem).

But I can appreciate how much of a fucking bummer for her it is that she will heretoforth and forever (at least by modern standards) be regarded as a “footjob” queen. FOOTJOB!? What a mortifying way to make a porno debut.

[via The Hollywood Gossip]

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Filed under: 21st Century Problems, Actresses, Badges of Shame, Embarrassing, Exes Suck, Footjobs? WTF?, Heartbreaking, Leighton Meester, Personal Lows, Quick Bucks, Scandals, Sex Tapes, Whoopsieeee