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An Olympic Medal By Default Would Smell As Sweet

February 25th, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by Diana

In the nail-biter Final of the women’s 3,000-meter speed skate relay last night, the South Korean anchor whizzed across the finish line in gold medal position–with Chinese rivals scowling at their tail, Canada scrambling just behind, and the U.S. over a half-lap away.

Minutes later, South Korea got disqualified for this bump, which happened during the last turn:

A little bump 'n' grind

And with the leaders out, et voilà, the lagging U.S. team instantly became a team of bronze medalists.

Luck be four ladies tonight!

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We Are Not Elephants

March 19th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

The man with a stimulus plan is in beautiful Los Angeles today for a good old fashioned town hall meeting!


And we… forgot to pick up our tickets. Yes, we forgot. So we won’t be there to ask the Prez: “How often do you read blogs? Particularly DISGRASIAN? What kind of role will the stimulus package play in the blogger lifestyle? Do you like DISGRASIAN? In this economy, do you still have time to read DISGRASIAN?”

We know, we know. We’re ashamed of ourselves, too. But just this once.

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Ooh, Burn on Kim Vo

March 18th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

RUH-ROH, Kim Vo!

Is it true that you colored and set foils in a client’s hair, threw her under the dryer, and burnt the living shiznit out of her cabeza?

From TMZ:

According to a lawsuit filed today in L.A. County Superior Court, one of Kim’s clients — an actress named Carly Steele — came to his Beverly Hills salon for a coloring in January. Things were going fine until Carly claims the aluminum foil Kim personally applied and set under a hair dryer began burning her, causing her hair and scalp “to smoke and burn.”

In the suit, Steele claims, “she leapt from the chair” and people tried to remove the foil — but, “they too were unable to remove the scalding and fiery foil and coloring agent which were scorching and sizzling into [Carly's] hair, scalp and head.

YEESH. Dude, that’s not good practice, even when dealing with lesser-known clients. I mean, how hard is this process for you? Aren’t you some kind of “top colorist,” at least according to reality producers? Can you imagine if Gordon Ramsay set a nightmare kitchen on fire while preparing a simple bolognese? My god, you should be better than this!

Just stay away from my head. That’s all I care about. Stay the funk away from my head.

[via TMZ: Actress sues celebrity hairstylist Kim Vo]

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Sign of the Times

March 9th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Dear NYT:

Not good use word C-H-I-N-A-M-A-N to describe decoration. Word “Chinaman” is U-N-N-A-C-C-E-P-T-A-B-L-E and O-F-F-E-N-S-I-V-E to A-S-I-A-N P-E-O-P-L-E.

Sincerey,
A Gook and a Chinaman

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Thanks, Alice!

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Lil’ Smokey

February 10th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I, like everyone else, am horrified by the sight of this very young child lighting and smoking a cigarette [via Videogum]–with the experienced hand of an ancient, alcoholic writer, no less–while in the care of adults:


Horrified.

Just horrified!

(Okay, guys, I know this is fucked up, but am I the only one that’s a teeny weeny weeny eeny weeny bit impressed by his smooth lighting technique, cool exhale, and aloof slouch? Just askin’.)

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Thanks, jRu!

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Hardass American People

January 21st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Dudes! NEVER, EVER, EVER trip over your words during the Presidential Oath of Office!




The American Peeps are apparently as forgiving of human error as my parents. Perhaps I like us more than I think!!!

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Decline to Stasian

February 12th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Tens of thousands of independent voters in Super Tuesday’s California election will have to suck up the fact that their vote for the presidential primary will not be counted, according to L.A. County’s top elections official.

The Associated Press reports:


Registrar Dean Logan said those improperly filled out ballots are impossible to count by hand because of the county’s complicated voting system, which requires crossover voters to fill in two “bubbles”: one to choose a political party and one to indicate their presidential choice.

“There’s no way in looking at the ballot to discern voters’ intent,” Logan said after releasing preliminary findings about the flawed voting system.

Here’s the first question: After the embarrassing hullabaloo 2000′s election debacle, why the fuzz are we still dealing with ballot bullshit in 2008?

Question number two: Who can’t remember to double-bubble? Doesn’t sound so complicated. First you bubble. Then you… bubble.

We’re gonna go ahead and get presumptuous: It wasn’t the Asians… we LOVE marking up scantrons!

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Overzealous Anticippppppasian

December 12th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
WHOOPSIE!!!!!!!

Apparently, we were so eager to weigh in on the finale for A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila last night that we posted about it a week early. When we (reluctantly, with a big sigh, and an even bigger glass of scotch) finally sat down to watch the mess on TiVo, our eyes were mistreated by a recap episode even more boring than the whole stupid series. Blegh. But the good part was that we immediately realized our error in horror, and here we are to fix it. Dear readers, we sincerely apologize if we caused you to watch the show last night to find out the results. But who cares, it’s just bad TV.

And hey, even Asians make mistakes! Weird, right???

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Toothy

August 15th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Malaysian police have arrested a man who has been illegally practicing dentistry on patients with no official training or licensing for 29 years.

Reuters reports:

The 63-year-old man, who convinced his neighbors he was a retired army dentist after being told he was too old to work as a dentist’s assistant, charged 20 ringgit ($5.76) for extractions and 130 ringgit for dentures, the paper said.

Ummm… $5.76 for extractions? I’ll yank your tooth with a string and a door for free. You hear me? FREE!!!!!

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