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You know, when the NY Daily News reported it, I didn’t believe it.
But if the NY Times reports it, it MUST be true.
So who’s gonna bring the turkey club sandwiches???
Filed under: Double Entendres, Elin Nordegren, Golf, Golfers, Gossip, Kinky Stuff, Menage A Trois, New York Times, The Masters Golf Tournament, Threesomes, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Returns to Golf, Turkey Club Sandwich Tiger Woods, Who Knew Golf Could Get You Laid?
Tiger Woods returns to golf next week at the Masters golf tournament in Augusta, GA, which is all a lot of people–myself included–have wanted since news of his multiple extramarital affairs surfaced. Golf may be boring, but nothing’s more boring than seeing Tiger’s “Hey Sexy, What Are You Wearing?” text messages dominate the headlines and knowing the dull minutiae of his life. I mean, porn mistresses and turkey club sandwiches? Could you be more pedestrian?!
There’s only one problem with Tiger’s return, and that’s how the media’s predicting things will go. Not with his golf swing, mind you, but with his
soon-to-be-ex wife, Elin.
Filed under: Blasians, Cheaters, Elin Nordegren, Golf, Stand by Your Man, Tammy Wynette, The Masters Golf Tournament, This is Bullshit, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Affair, Tiger Woods Affairs, Tiger Woods Marriage, Tiger Woods Returns, Tiger Woods Sex Scandals, Who Knew Golf Could Get You Laid?
After expressing regret for his “transgressions” in a written statement in December but maintaining that “(p)ersonal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn’t have to mean public confessions,” Tiger Woods is set to eat his words on Friday, when he plans to issue a public apology in front of a small group of friends, colleagues, and reporters in Florida.
Which is nothing short of historic. I mean, have you ever heard of a professional athlete apologizing for being a dog and having sex with women other than his wife? (Somewhere, Michael Jordan is laughing his ass off at a blackjack table.) Isn’t that the sort of behavior we’ve come to expect from athletes like Tiger, the sort of behavior that, in fact, we not-so-secretly relish about them, that they aren’t physically bound by the same laws that we civilians are, both on the playing field and in their pants? (Somewhere, Wilt Chamberlain, layer of 20,000 women, is rolling over in his grave.)
Let’s think about this for a second.
Filed under: Caublinasians, Contrition, Elin Nordegren, Golf, Mixed People, PR Moves, Sexting, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Public Apology, Tiger Woods Sex Scandal, Tiger Woods to Apologize, Who Knew Golf Could Get You Laid?