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Obama’s First State Of The Union: We Kinda Wanna Kowtow
Did y’all watch President Obama’s entire State of the Union speech last night?
Mad Daddy
Was it just us, or did Father sound MAAAAAAAAD? I damn near jumped out of my skin when he belted “I DON’T QUIT” from those mighty, Hardass Daddy lungs. While I shivered with fear, I felt good and right, hopeful and safe. And glad, so glad.
(Man, we had fucked up childhoods.)
If you missed last night’s speech [shrugs] because you were busy doing something else, watch all 70 minutes or so below:
Continue reading Obama’s First State Of The Union: We Kinda Wanna Kowtow
Filed under: "I Don't Quit.", Angry Men, Daddy Issues, Dads, First State Of the Union, Hardass Parents of All Colors, Kowtow, Obama Administration, POTUS, President Barack Obama, President Obama State Of The Union, SOTU, Speeches, State Of The Union, the President, Who Are Your Parents?
Lap It Up, Grandma
Tila Tequila has never failed to confirm that she has a cache of truly great talents: 2) walking and breathing at the same time
1) squooshing her boobs together
3) laying around
4) inciting disapproval and shame in my parents, who have never met her, but would give anything to whomp her hand with a chopstick, make her sit in the corner, and rip up her Madonna records
5) pole dancing/lap dancing
She seemed especially eager to confirm her aptitude in the latter during the most recent “meet the parents” episode of A Shot At Love, in which she sought to impress her gal’s family with a cheery lap dance for Grandma:
Wow. Class and Sass, all the way. Oops, I mean ASS AND BLELEGLGHHGHGHGHGHHGG (which doesn’t rhyme, but not even Chaucer could rhyme after witnessing this abomination). I guess I’ll join Jen today and fuggedabout lunch.
Thanks, Tila. Thanks a-fucking lot.
Filed under: Grandmas, I Feel Dirty, Lap Dances, Somebody Help Please, Tila Tequila, Who Are Your Parents?
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! YEAR
Last week, Kenneth Eng made headlines again when he called Virginia Tech murderer Seung Cho his “hero.” Gawker, god bless them, then released a query that Eng had recently sent to publishers, hocking his demented wares. Here are some of the lowlights:
I am writing to ask if you’d be interested in publishing a book I am writing involving the VA Tech Shooting. Entitled “Why I Hate Everything”, it is based on what Asians in this country really believe. It defends Seung-Hui Cho by outlining very harshly that he was the real victim.
Me: Speak for yourself, you fucking lunatic.
Regarding the Village Voice interview where he admitted he wanted to go on a murderous rampage at NYU but couldn’t afford a gun, Eng also reveals:
The journalist quoted me out of context (for example, I only “stalked” a girl because she was rude to me and I intentionally wanted to creep her out).
Me: “Rude to me”? Are you for serious? Oh, and, there’s no such thing as “unintentionally” creeping someone out when stalking them.
And finally, Eng’s closer:
The book is divided into chapters entitled “Why I Hate (something)”. They will involve descriptions of why Asians should hate certain things and how we are violated in the US. Occasionally, I will use personal anecdotes (proof of which I have, to prevent another James Frey) about my many physical and verbal fights with whites and blacks. The writing style will be slightly comedic (who wants to read a 300-page rant without humor?).
Me: Indeed.
Filed under: Attention Whores, Discrazians, Mental Illness, Virginia Tech, Who Are Your Parents?
