You are currently browsing posts tagged with We’re Nice On Your Birthday

BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Bill O’Reilly

September 9th, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by Diana

Oh gosh!!! Happy happy happy 61st birthday, Bill O’Reilly!!!




Just kidding, you old fuck. You’re awful. Awful. AWFUL.

Instead, we’d like to celebrate the birth of another older gent, who’s only offended us once or twice: Senator Daniel Inouye, happy 86th birthday (two days ago)! May you you remain cuddly and tan. Let’s talk politics next week.




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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Maggie Q

May 20th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana




Happy birthday to Maggie Q, who turns 31 on Saturday! This glorious beauty and Q-tie is so sweet in the face we’d consider giving up meat for her. At least for a day or two.

[Wikipedia: Maggie Q]

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Lindsay Price

December 10th, 2009 | 6 comments | Posted by Diana

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Happy birthday to Lindsay Price, who turned 33 this week. May she continue to enjoy glowy skin, laughing eyes, and sufficient ratings on ABC’s Eastwick*!

*Err… Intern Jasmine just reminded us that ‘Eastwick’ was cancelled last month. Um… let’s hope you get one of those fun new leopard-print Snuggies, instead!

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Lisa Ling

September 3rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Happy birthday, Lisa Ling! You turned 36 earlier this week!

We’ve certainly had our fun with you in the past, but hell. The incredible poise that you showed during this difficult-and-crazy-ass year, coupled with an ongoing quest to share important stories with an audience that often cares more about Tom Cruise and free shit, topped off by the fact that you are probably the world’s best sport about web heckling–well, it gives us mad lurve for you. In fact, we’ve got goofy celebratory grins plastered across our round moon faces, just thinking about it.

Here’s hoping 36 is a year spent doing fun sister things (like TPing a neighbor’s house) and few exchanges with one of the World’s Biggest Assholes. We salute you!

xo,
Diana and Jen

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Devon Aoki

August 13th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Happy birthday to Devon Aoki, who turned 27 earlier this week! May you continue to be of unique beauty and luxurious pedigree for years to come–and here’s hoping you avoid any disastrous family bouts or catastrophic fashion moments in the meantime.

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Jessica Simpson

July 9th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Birthdays are nice, because sometimes they force us to say something pleasant to or about people we’re not usually all that nice to.

This week, that person is Jessica Simpson, who we’ve historically been, y’know, less-than-forgiving to (Note to Ms. Simpson below the pic):


HELLO Jessica Simpson, and happy birthday! You’re 29 and it shows wow, you’ve never looked better it’s awesome to still be able to say you’re in your twenties and unmarried and loving it, right? We’d like to wish you a great year and, for your sake, the ability to find some kernel of real talent within yourself so that you might actually become somewhat relevant in the public eye again. Party hard, lady! Maybe you can keep the birthday cake in your own mouth this time (see above for memories)!

xoxo
DISGRASIAN

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

May 7th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

We’d like to wish a very happy birthday to Cheryl Burke, who turned 25 this week!

Cheryl, baby, don’t you dare think for a moment that since we pick on you sometimes, we don’t appreciate the fact that your kind is DISGRASIAN’s bread and butter. Ya hear that, Cheryl? You have a kind! And you’re like butta.

So don’t ever change–not one tiny thing, sweetums. Cuz if you ever fix that mom hair or stop making crazy faces at the paps, we’ll end up just twiddling our thumbs over here.

And we can’t have that, can we?

Happy birthday.

xo,
Diana and Jen

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

April 9th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Happy birthday to Jackie Chan, who turned 55 this week and is still about 3,475 times more ripped than we currently are at the tender ages of um, 19 and 22.

Today, Chan can enjoy the experience of us being gentle and nice to him! Pretty neat, huh? If he would just stop all that wretched clowning, it could happen a helluva lot more often.

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

December 27th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy 33rd Birthday to DISGRASIAN Hall-of-Shamer Masi Oka! We still can’t believe that after 289,080 minutes of life (we figured the math out in our heads just like you would), you haven’t quite gained the poise and cool to make you, well, very cool at all–but when it’s your birthday we do our best to be nice. So we hope you throw down many a martini tonight…and hang out with your nicest friends… and hit on some hot ladies with a successful outcome. Just cut loose, and try not to make a fool out of yourself, even though that may be difficult.

Was that nice enough?

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

August 30th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

We would like to wish Risa Ring and her teeth a very happy 34th birthday! We hope for prosperity, health, and a Pulitzer for you both in the coming year.

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