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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! An Uncanny Fascinasian with Spitzer’s Hooker

March 14th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

The first morning after the New York Times published their dirty-digging piece on the inner workings of Client 9′s “Kristen,”–aka aspiring R&B singer Ashley Alexandra Dupré (but born Ashley Youmans)– the woman of so many average names’ two-year old MySpace page had clocked in only a few hundred thousand page views. Less than 48 hours later, we now observe that she’s currently working her way towards 8 million.

We at DISGRASIAN are taking this Internet traffic anomoly personally. 8 million hits in less than two days?!? That’s 8 million page views that could have, nay, should have been ours. What the fuzz?

Additionally, we’ve also learned that Dupré’s debut single, “What We Want,” previously available for free on the budding online music source Amie Street, has now been jacked up in download price–to the site’s highest number, 98 cents–due to its overwhelming popularity. Thank you, Eliot!

HUH? Wha?? She’s making even more money off of screwing for money? This has got to be the definition whoring yourself out! Or wait, let’s back up on the judgment a bit, is it simply entrepreneurial to turn your John’s bust into your Internet boom? It’s hard to tell–we feel kinda like Kit DeLuca in Pretty Woman when hooker newbie Vivian suddenly gets whisked out of their shitty, VD-riddled apartment in Hollywood to spend her life popping polo divets into the ground with hot, rich Edward Lewis, simply because she kissed him on the lips. Why her and not us?

All we really want to know is, do you really have to hit it to get those kinds of hits? Somebody tell us, please! We still won’t become high-class hookers, we just really, really want to understand.

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