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Hey FODs!

November 9th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

…no, y’all, that ain’t a newfangled ricial slur, that’s you, Friends Of DISGRASIAN.

We have exciting news!

No, neither of us is pregnant.

We are now contributors to 23/6, the HuffPost’s newly-launched comedy site. It’s Jon Stewart meets Jen and Diana! Check out our first post (last week’s DOTW updated), about the HaraGossip Girls.

And to our new readers…WELCOME!!!

Stick around and read the latest about Bai Ling’s nipples, Maria Sharapova’s crotch, Kim Jong Il’s porn-producer steez, and the Japanese Devo!

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Thank You, Maria Sharapova’s Crotch

November 7th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Oh ma lord. Yesterday was an incredible day here at DISGRASIAN HQ. Jen and I were sitting (lounging) in the conference room (tree-filled patio) gulping down work fuel (booze) when we decided to peek at our visitor numbers. Trust me, they’re always high… not that we look… but we couldn’t believe our eyes! Our numbers had skyrocketed to 13 million* unique visits! WOW!

Which means, as we’ve always hoped and dreamed, that you love us. You really love us. Which is great, because we love you too!

Out of curiosity, we peeked at where y’all were comin’ from. ‘Cuz we care about you and your stories and how you find us.

There was the referral page. Looks like you all came for the same reason. We saw, for miles and miles down the page…

…and we get it. Last week’s post on Toyo Shigeta hording photos of the secrets lurking beneath Maria Sharapova’s tennis skirtzzZZZzzZZzzz is currently featured on Buzzfeed, and apparently, that’s what brought most of you here.

Did you all just want to see the magical crotch? We’ve got it.

You want to see it? You want to see it? Here it is, the photo in question that apparently has the courtroom buzzy and our site even buzzier:

Yawn. I’ve seen more exciting between-the-legs action at an 8-year old’s soccer game. But that’s what you came for.

I will admit, it all kind of made us wonder, who is more DISGRASIAN… Shigeta, or YOU? But when we really thought about it, Shigeta doesn’t visit our site, so he’s the loser. You’re here, so you rule!

And you know what, we kind of like you. We invite all of you freaky deaks to stay and poke around awhile. There’s plenty of other upskirt action here!

UPDATE: Click here to see why there won’t be any Sharapova crotch shots at the 2008 Wimbledon.

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*almost

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

May 10th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Supermodel of All Supermodels Linda Evangelista turns 42 today.

Observing that this gorgeous, gorgeous, supernatural being doesn’t look a day over 25, it occurred to us that she might actually be ASIAN!!! –Either that or she’s wisely taking some sort of anti-agin’ (or as I like to say, Anti-Asian) serum.

So we looked for photo proof:

Exhibit A:
Here’s Ms. Evangelista in a quasi-kimono. Paying Asia homage? Yes.
Proving her true Asian heritage? Not quite.

Exhibit B:
Here: Pretty chinky dress; however, not a very chinky face.

Exhibit C:
AH! Getting warmer!!! Sporting a pretty geisha puss!

Exhibit D:
Warmer still… Jet-black hair, almond eyes, and… (ahem) Opium.

And then…

…we found our proof.

Exhibit E:
JACKPOT!!!

Oh Linda. You’re one of us!!! We love you. Happy freaking birthday.

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