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Here’s the story on the lady pictured below, Mek Wok Kundor:
- She’s Malaysian.
- She’s 107 years old.
- She has been married 22 times (so far).
- She doesn’t kiss and tell–Kundor won’t talk about her former husbands (whom she has lost to both death and divorce) or her kids.
- She is currently estranged from her husband (#22), who is 37.
- She separated from the 37-year-old dude because he had to go into rehab.
- Worried that he may return from rehab sober and itchin’ for a younger chick, Kundor has her sights set on a man 57 years her junior–a potential husband #23.
- She plans to visit her hubby (Possible reconnection?) in rehab, which is in Kuala Lumpur. She just needs a ride.
- I couldn’t possibly make this up.
- Something tells me (maybe it’s the dozens of hubbies, love of younger dudes, and certainty that she’ll soon find a brand new lover) that Mek Wok Kundor is an incredible lay. You may not like to read that, and I may not like to write it, but neither of us can deny that it’s probably true.
- Add it all up, and this bitch is the sexiest, baddest bitch in the East! Don’t hate a player!!
Swine flu infections are on the rise in Asia, particularly in India, Thailand, and Vietnam, according to the World Health Organization. But only Malaysia, where 2,252 cases and 38 deaths have been reported since May, has proposed a radical preventative solution: stop masturbating and having gay sex.
But get this: “normal sexual union” is perfectly safe! Hurrah! Score another one for heteros!!!
The Malaysian government then went on to state that it also believed the world is flat, gravity does not exist, and unicorns are very, very real.
In what has become a grand tradition of trying to make immodest musical performers (like Gwen and Beyonce) bow down in fully-clothed, booty-not-shakin’ fashion, the Islamic opposition party of Malaysia has turned its efforts towards banning an Avril Lavigne performance set for August 29 in Kuala Lumpur.
“‘It is considered too sexy for us. … It’s not good for viewers in Malaysia,’ party official Kamarulzaman Mohamed said. ‘We don’t want our people, our teenagers, influenced by their performance. We want clean artists, artists that are good role models.’ Kamarulzaman sent protest letters to the Culture, Arts and Heritage Ministry and Kuala Lumpur’s mayor last week, calling for the concert to be canceled.”
We’ve banned Ms. Lavigne–from, well, our lives, basically–for a number of reasons:
1) Her Mandarin sucks
2) Too short
3) Diana hates poseurs more than hippies (which is saying something)
4) Homegirl is probably a plagiarist
5) “Skater” is not spelled, “sk8ter” in our book, which is the only book we care about
6) She’s really, super, creepily short
7) Stupid eyeliner
8) Dear God is she little
Anyway, NONE OF THESE ITEMS involve her being too sexy.
We just. Don’t. See it. We just don’t.
Filed under: Avril Lavigne, Avril Lavigne Malaysia, Beyonce Knowles, Gwen Stefani, Huh?, Midgets, Muslasians Hate Avril, She's Too Sexy For Her Kohl Eyeliner and Clothing Line?, Weird Malaysian Behavior
Because dive masks makes your eyes bug out like you have a terrible thyroid condition and that kinda resembles the Look of Love? Because the terror of your oxygen tank malfunctioning or getting claustrophobic underwater makes the terror of long-term commitment more palatable? Because breathing underwater, which is completely counterintuitive, makes marriage seem less impossible? Because neoprene is so fuckin’ sexy?
I don’t get it.