You are currently browsing posts tagged with Weird Japanese Behavior

The Japanese Face Slimmer, a Great Halloween Costume Idea

June 10th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Listen up, Moonfaces. If you, like me, always have to, as Tyra would say, “know your angles” in photographs (i.e. never ever give full-frontal mug), and your face tends to resemble a jelly donut when you have a hangover, are retaining water, didn’t get enough sleep, didn’t have time to put on make-up, or have packed on a couple pounds, there is a Japanese beauty product for you. It’s called the Face Slimmer and looks like the bastard offspring of an alien life-form who came to Earth and raped a hockey mask.


The Frisky reports on how the Face Slimmer works:

First, it melts the fat off your face by massaging your facial dermis…Then, the sweat produced from the poorly-ventilated mask combined with the sweat from your chubby cheeks acts as a sauna.

Which sounds hella dubious, but think of it this way: if the thing doesn’t work, you can always use it to scare the bejeezus out of your annoying neighbors.

All Jason wanted was a pair of prominent cheekbones–is that so wrong?

[The Frisky: The Japanese Face Slimmer Leaves Us Speechless, Literally]

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Utterly Useless but So Effing Cute

May 29th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Bon week-end!

Thanks, Jasmine!

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The Japanese Toilet Paper Novella–Scary as Sh*t?

May 27th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Let me ask you, when you hear the words “horror experience in the toilet,” what comes to mind? The public restrooms at Port Authority? The morning after a Sichuanese or Southern Thai food binge? A snake taking a bite out of your penis while you’re on the crapper?

“Horror experience in the toilet” is actually how Drop, the new novella of Koji Suzuki, author of Ringu, is being marketed. The whole story is printed on toilet paper, takes place in a public restroom, and can be read in a few minutes. Because what better place is there to get the shit scared out of you than the turlet, right?

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Boob Bomb?

May 13th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!


THEM BOOBS’S GONNA BLOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!

[Gizmodo: Japanese Marriage Bra Gently Nudges Men Toward Nuptials, With Boobs]

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Boob Ram

May 7th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

“Don’t Ram the Boobs” seems like a game that my boyfriend would invent after a night of Tecate, spicy pizza, medicinal pot, Cazadores, White Castle burgers, a round of Trivial Pursuit, three pot cookies, two quesadillas, Modelo Especial, a few rounds of “How Hard Can You Squeeze a Raw Agg Before It Cracks and Splatters Everywhere?”, a 32oz. of Miller High Life, one more pot cookie, an around-the-room test of “Who Can Eat a Tablespoon of Cinnamon?”, a plate of Thai larb salad, and three bottles of Pellegrino.

I can just imagine coming home to a very rudimentary setup of “DRTB” accompanied by the words, “But honey! All you have to do is wear this bikini and STAND THERE!”



Sounds pretty fun. And let’s be honest. I’m my mom’s flat-chested progeny, and I’m not getting fakies anytime soon–which could give the dude and his fellow contestants quite the handicap. I’m IN.

[via Break.com]

Thanks, Thomas!

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Japan’s Ambassadors of CuteZZzzzZZZzz

March 13th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

In an effort to raise its cultural profile in the world, Japan has named three young women ambassadors of “cute.”


The three women represent archetypes borrowed from anime, manga, and street culture: a schoolgirl, a Lolita, and a girl described as a “fashion leader” in the Harajuku district. (Oh how I long to rip that crazy weave off the Harajuku chick and throw it to a feral cat.) At a press conference announcing their appointment Thursday, Tsutomu Nakagawa, the head of the cultural affairs division at the Foreign Ministry, explained the purpose of these so-called ambassadors:

We want people abroad to know these kind of people exist in Japan and to feel close to them.

Okay, but who at this point doesn’t know that “these kind of people” exist in Japan?

  1. People who live under rocks.
  2. People who live in caves.
  3. People who have never heard of the internet.
  4. People who have never heard of television.
  5. People without a pervy boner in their body (yeah, right).

And, more to the point, how many in the world actually think that only “these kind of people” exist in Japan?

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Thanks, Lory!

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Two Thigh Thighs, Hush Hush, Squoosh Your Eyes

February 18th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

When I first saw Danny Choo’s photo of this new Japanese web book on Boing Boing, I got all tense, cuz I thought I was about to start talking about a new fetish of fast-mounting popularity: love of really creepy, long, jerky-like labia.

First Glance: Attack of the killer curtains!?!

But then I realize it’s just a collection of photos documenting weird dudes getting their mugs squished to bits by lady gams. Seems normal enough, although not particularly enjoyable for either party.

But who am I to judge? At least I can relax.

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Gotta Get This Off of My Chest

January 13th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Freddie Mercury is my hero for many reasons, but particularly one: the man had CHARISMA.

Jen will attest to the fact that I do not tolerate those without charisma well. I’m unusally harsh on bad party guests, drippy dinner attendees, fidgety young girls, and guys who have nothing to say about nothing. Charisma isn’t something you’re born with–it’s something you develop. Therefore, I believe that exhibiting or not exhibiting said charisma is indeed a choice. A lack of charisma, therefore, reflects a complete neglect for what other people are supposed to glean from your presence. And if you don’t choose to even be interesting to perceive, you totally suck in my book. Okay, you’re worthless.

Anyway, back to Mercury, a man who, by all standards, was once the living embodiment of charisma. Freddie Mercury was the opposite of worthless, ya hear? He might have blown a few rails off of some backstage drips back in the good ol’ days, but he certainly didn’t respect to those people, or talk and cuddle with them. He definitely wouldn’t have written “You’re My Best Friend” about them.

My friends, I must declare here that Freddie Mercury is sacred in my book. You can sing along with him. You can love him. You can impersonate him, but only by really digging deep to find your serious, true, inner Mercury.

HOWEVER,
YOU
MUST
NOT
MIMIC
WITH
RIDICULE.

FREDDIE
IS
NO
FUCKING
JOKE.

I’m talking to this Japanese tool, who knocks off a few laughs by taking on late-life Mercury’s persona:

…who, will have his real chest hair ripped out of him, should he be so unlucky as to ever bump into me on the streets of Tokyo.

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Thanks, jRu!

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Shigeo Tokuda

October 20th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


Name: Shigeo Tokuda

Hails from: Japan

Occupation: World’s oldest porn star

Known for: At 74, being the oldest cock on the adult film block. A former travel agent, Tokuda got into the jizz bizz fourteen years ago because he liked watching porn but was too embarrassed to go to the video store in order to get his rocks off, so he wound up going to the production company that made the films he liked instead and befriending a director who convinced him to turn pro. And thus, a star–in equal parts awe-inspiring and eww-inducing–was born.

Click here for NSFW stills from Tokuda’s film, Tit-lover Old Man Kameichi and His Horny Pranks.

[via BuzzFeed]

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Love Animasian

September 22nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

We learned via TechCrunch that the newest Interwebs sensation in Japan is a social networking/virtual dating site called Webkare (“web boyfriend”). The site is geared exclusively towards girls and, to participate, they compete and collaborate with other members to win the heart of one four desirable cartoon boys on the site.


Let’s ignore the details of the competition for now. From a glance at the boys, I can admit that they are among the, um, prettiest virtual people I’ve ever seen. But until somebody looks like my boyfriend Teppei Teranishi


…I’m not playing.

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BABEWATCH: The Actroid-DER2

July 29th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


Name: The Actroid-DER2

Hails from: Japan

Occupation: TV host and model robot

Why She’s a Babe: She walks, talks, and sells sunscreen (because even robots get sunburns, too). And, according to her maker Kokoro (a Sanrio company), she has “long legs,” a “bright smile,” and an astonishingly small face…capable of creating exotic facial expressions.” Despite her soft, feminine voice, we’re not entirely convinced that she’s a she, in which case, we applaud her bravery in trying to lead a normal life. Have a look for yourself:

[via CrunchGear]

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When Bad Wigs Collide

July 23rd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
“Last Harry Potter book finally released in Japanese”


From left to right:

HARRY POTTER LOOKALIKE: This haircut was a bad, bad idea.

HERMIONE GRANGER LOOKALIKE: I’m pretty sure I’m too old for this shit.

RON WEASLY LOOKALIKE: Why do I always have to be the Ginger?

CHO CHANG LOOKALIKE: It’s hard to say why I feel so sad and empty inside.

LUNA LOVEGOOD LOOKALIKE: I’m really a man.

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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