You are currently browsing posts tagged with Weird Japanese Behavior

Of Course Electroshock Smile Therapy Was Invented By Asians [HOAX]

February 7th, 2011 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Hardass Asian Parents, do you wish your lazy, spoiled, selfish children would show some gratitude for all the sacrifices you’ve made for them by offering up a smile now and then? Is that too much to ask???

Welp, if it is, you can simply force their little mouths open with the Electro Smile, a device allegedly invented by a Japanese scientist that sends electric shocks to a child’s cheeks, producing a smile that “lasts for Days.”

I hate you, Mommy! BZZZZZZZZZ I mean, I love you, Mommy!

The gadget warns of an “only slight twitch side effect,” along with an only slight your-child-hating-you-forever-and-thinking-you’re-a-sadistic-fuck-for-the-rest-of-his-or-her-life (deep breath) effect.

[UPDATE: The photo above is for a real product, albeit one that doesn't deliver electroshocks (sorry, Tiger Moms). And the text is fake and not just the result of a horrible translation. The real product, as I learned from the comments section of Neatorama, is called a Kami Kami sensor, and it counts the number of bites children make while eating their food. Which actually seems way less useful than an electroshock smile therapy tool, don't you think?]

[Image via]

[via Neatorama]

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Save The Beards!

June 23rd, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Diana

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! NOT OKAY!

A city in Japan has banned beards at the workplace to cut down the need for summer air conditioning and reduce their carbon footprint. Seriously.

Food Artist Takao Sakai's Red Bean Beard

From Sky News:

The northeastern city of Isesaki says forcing office workers not to sport facial hair will mean they are less likely to need the air conditioning on in the summer months.

Civil servants are already being encouraged to forego jackets and ties during hot weather as part of a “Cool Biz” campaign.

A city official said there had been no complaints from employees since the ban was introduced last month and that it was a necessary part of Cool Biz.

The campaign was introduced in 2005 by the Japanese Ministry of Environment in an attempt to cut the country’s consumption of electricity, thereby reducing Japan’s carbon footprint.

Y’all, I love the planet so very much. Reducing one’s carbon footprint is super hot. And I admire the intent of the uh, poorly-named “Cool Biz” campaign, since most of the stories I hear about Japan’s relationship with the environment these days include buying off fellow IWC countries with hookers and coin to protect illegal whaling practices.

But beards… I love beards, too. And beards are so, so, so, so, sooooooo very hot. A ban on Continue reading Save The Beards!

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The World’s Most Bitchinest-Dressed Politician Steps Down

June 2nd, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

Following a political funding scandal and his failure to move a U.S. Marine Corps base off the island of Okinawa, Japanese PM Yukio Hatoyama resigned Wednesday after only eight months in office.

Beyond politics, Hatoyama was known for dressing in an outre 90′s sorta way and being married to Miyuki Hatoyama, who claimed to have known Tom Cruise in a past life and have been to outer space.

In other words, the Hatoyamas were the kind of people we’d like to party with.

Naoto Kan, Japan’s current Finance Minister, and Katsuya Okada, are rumored to be on the short-list of Hatoyama’s successors. According to Wikipedia, Kan’s hobby is the board game Go and Okada is an “avid collector” of…frog knick-knacks.

In other words, Hatoyama’s successor is the kind of person our Hardass Asian Parents would like to party with.

BOO. NO FUN.

[photos via HuffPo]
[AP: Japan politics shaken by PM Hatoyama's resignation]

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How To Make A Wedding Even More Awkward: A Robot

May 17th, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Diana

Here’s a romantic story…

A Japanese robotics professor falls for a beautiful female employee of Kokoro (Sanrio’s humanoid robot division). They tumble deeply in love, and are married at a beautiful ceremony, surrounded by family and friends. The sacred, romantic service is officiated by none other than their close friend… a humanoid robot with the world’s cutest voice.

And no, it wasn’t Ann Curry:




Robot. Wedding. Robot. Wedding.

OMG OMG OMG I JUST HAVE CREEPY AWKWARD TINGLES RUNNING ALL THROUGH MY BODY RIGHT NOW! MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!

[via Boing Boing]

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Dancing Dogs Are Here Again As The Potato Snacks Flow

March 23rd, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

Am I the only one that’s totally in love with this commercial?





Maybe it’s because I’m a lifelong Calbee chip whore, am a freak for dancing dogs, and believe that true artistry requires no explanation. But while peeps on YouTube call this spot “creepy” and “disturbing” and the vast majority of folks on Buzzfeed are left wondering “WTF,” all I can think is: “HOW CAN I GET THIS BIG, PERVY DOG TO DANCE WITH TWO PLATES AS PROPS AT MY NEXT BIRTHDAY?”

That, and “I’m hungry.”

Seriously… it can’t possibly be just me.

[via Dlisted]
[Buzzfeed: Japan Outdoes Itself (Again)]
[YouTube: WTF Japan Seriously.com]

Thanks, Michael!

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Crack Open A Cold One With 70,000 Of Your Closest Online Friends

March 8th, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by Diana

We learned via Japan Trends that a Japanese news agency has reported on a boom trend among the country’s netizens in their twenties and thirties: online nomikai (drinking parties!!!).

Funny, we’ve always fancied DISGRASIAN as a kind of online drinking party (or are Jen and I the only ones sitting at our laptops, rantin’ to y’all, while sipping on scotch/rocks?).

For the Japanese, virtual mixers are an adaptation of a longstanding social norm that typically obliges people to booze formally (read: uncomfortably) with their coworkers at izakaya spots. In Hollywood we tend to call such burdensome fiestas “work drinks” (or Jen’s personal form of hell), and spend the time making fun of line producers that can’t stop flirting inappropriately with young production assistants.

More from Japan Trends:

“One way to get around this but still enjoy drinking in groups is to go online. Apparently net nomikai are gaining in popularity, according to reports by J-Cast and others. All you need is a web cam, Skype and a pair of headphones and mic. There is no boss, no seating arrangements — and even no geographical limitations! Obviously it’s a lot cheaper than boozing in an izakaya too, which might appeal to the recession-minded younger drinkers who can’t rely on company expenses.”

Booze? Budget-friendly socializing? No need for designated drivers? No regretful drunken co-worker boob gropes? Fun avatars? An open browser on the desktop so each user can intermittently check in on DISGRASIAN updates? Hell. It all sounds pretty good to us!

Frankly, we see little wrong with the concept of getting hammered with online friends every night… except… hrmm… Dr. Drew might eventually classify it is a form of drinking alone, a subtle sign of alcoholism. But no one else seems to be worried about that, so why should we?

[Japan Trends: Online Drinking Games For Younger Japanese]

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Thanks, Dave and Jasmine!

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Fart And Run

October 13th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

BuzzFeed’s Peggy Wang just posted this amusing YouTube gem from a Japanese game show, which “details” how to escape the path of a flyin’ free fart:

…but geesh, isn’t that a whole lot of work? Isn’t it always easiest to create a diversion, wait for someone to call the stink out, point at that person with horror and yelp, “Whoever smelt it, dealt it!” and then laugh hysterically at them until they start crying?

I mean, not that I know.

[BuzzFeed: How To Escape A Fart]

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Puff! iPhone App

October 9th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

HuffPo and Buzzfeed have posted a video demonstrating the remarkable usability of Japanese developer BottleCube’s latest iPhone app creation: Puff!

Puff! features scenes of cute Japanese girls in plausible situations (For instance, flipping over a jungle gym bar in a sexy little cheerleading outfit, or eyeing you seductively in a dark lounge while concealing summer panties and garter belt that she secretly wants you to see), whose skirts can be “blown” up high to reveal their underthings with just a tap/rub up the screen or blow on the iPhone mic. The harder you rub and blow, the higher her skirt flies, and the more delighted (via squeals) she seems.

But not everyone can get Puff! on the iPhone. In fact, the iTunes App store says you must be at least 17 years old to download:


But we think it could be a little simpler than that. To download this app, you kinda just have to fuckin’ BLOW. Like, really, really hard.

[HuffPo: Puff iPhone App Simulates Looking Up Girls' Skits (VIDEO)]
[BuzzFeed: Puff! An iPhone App For Perverts]

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Pornogami

August 24th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Want to learn how to play with your penis?

No, not that one. I mean your origami penis, as demonstrated here by premier pornogamist(?) Master Sugoi, author of Pornogami: A Guide to the Ancient Art of Paper-Folding for Adults:

It’s not everyday I can say this, but…genius scrotal work!

[via Trend Hunter]

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Just A Slice

August 13th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Unlike all-star Jen, I stunk at baseball-related activity as a kid. I even blew chunks when it came to T-ball, where my only responsibilities were to whack a sphere off a still podium (straight to the pitcher… if not the catcher), and make occasional motions towards lone grounders that happened to make their miserable way to the out-out-outfield where I spent my time picking dandelions and daydreaming about slugger Garrett Hawkins.

I hated playing ball. If, like me, you had the coordination of a zygote and the attention span of a goldfish, it was boring as sin. And even though I spent my evenings cheering on my older sisters, who all consistently made all-stars and pitched nail-biters while I clutched my “lucky” George Brett mini-bat, I really didn’t understand shit about the game. ZzZZZzzzZzzz.

As an adult I’m finally beginning to understand the beautiful nuances of America’s pastime, which is far more than just a game; instead, an ongoing, arduous test of focus and human steel. But that wouldn’t have made me any more interested as a tot.

If only the game had been a simpler one, with a rock solid result from every swing. Something I could’ve wrapped my tiny little head around. A game I could’ve seen and understood without so much as thinking. Something like…

Dude, I could have KILLED at Samurai T-ball. Absolutely KILLED.

Thanks, Chris!

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Body Modificasian is Cool and All, But This Makes Us Want to Die a Little

July 9th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I remember when bunches of my friends started going to raves. They’d get tricked out in giant JNCO jeans and fluorescent, furry vests, with pacifiers lassoed around their torsos and candy necklaces tightly wound against their struggling tracheae. Suddenly, everyone was getting pierced to shit. Giant bones through the septum. Silver balls poking out of the cheeks. Clear tongue rings. Pierced beauty marks. Giant, jillion-gauge, coke-can-sized rings inflating the soft flesh of the ears.

Everybody that delves in body mod is making a statement, whether that statement is “I actually want to look like a lizard” or “I dig tribal shit/love dancing to Kylie Minogue” or “It’s time for me to come out of my shell” or “I give great head” or “My parents didn’t love me enough.” And that kind of vociferation I totally respect.

But this not-even-really-new trend that’s apparently picking up steam in Japan (according to Bizarre Mag), which involves sculpting saline injections in the body for one-night’s worth of looking super kri-zazy…



…seems to make only one statement. “Meds. I need some meds.”

[Bizarre Magazine: Body Inflation]
[via Tumblr]

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Thanks, jRu!

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Add Them as a Friend

June 11th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Reason #1,293,787,099 Weddings Make People Act ReallyReallyREALLY Wack:

According to the UK’s Telegraph, Some Japanese brides feel so pressured to have a good guest showing that–in addition to forking out the hundies for an open bar, tiered cake and boring dinner plate–that they HIRE CHEERY AND CLEAN-LOOKING FOLKS TO ACT AS “FRIENDS” AT THEIR WEDDING.

Oh. My god. I have never. Heard. Of a more. Pathetic. And Sad. Set of Circumstances.

Seriously: WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK??!?!?!?!?

[Telegraph: Japanese Company Does Thriving Trade in 'Fake Friends']

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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