You are currently browsing posts tagged with Weird Chinese Behavior

Us In Our ‘Kinis Hitting The Beach This Past Weekend [HOT PIC]

August 20th, 2012 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

Y’all may have noticed that Diana’s been away from the blog for some time now. She’s been super busy doing all kinds of cool things, like starting her own company, being an auntie, and making artisanal soups (I shit you not). I don’t even get to see her as much as I’d like to these days, which makes me sad, so you can imagine how stoked I was when we got together this past criminally-hot weekend, to just soak in some rays. Soak in some rays Asian-style, that is:

I’m the one in turquoise, obvi.

[NPR.com: On Chinese Beaches, The Face-Kini Is In Fashion]

Thanks, Jasmine and Oliver!

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Male Bonding Is Just Around The Corner

January 19th, 2011 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

So Buzzfeed tells me that a popular hazing ritual at Chinese Universities–at least according to one Boston student studying abroad–is called Cornering.

Basically, it means that in order to bond with his new college homies, a dude needs to spread his legs, get lifted in the air, and have his special parts rammed against building corners and furniture. Sometimes it’s rough and tough, sometimes it’s warm and fuzzy like in the video below (submitted by the above-mentioned student)–but no matter what it always, always, always includes slamming junk into hard stuff for giggles:





I mean…

I
WILL
NEVER
UNDERSTAND
BOYS.

[Buzzfeed: Cornering]

Source

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Tony Chan, Sometimes Ya Gotta BS The BSer

November 20th, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

This man’s limo driver apparently overcharged him by 800 grand:

Too rich to notice: it took months for Tony Chan to notice the $800k missing from his pocket

…so why are we looking at his toothy mug instead of the guy at the wheel?

Well, there’s no denying that the crime allegedly committed by Chan’s driver, Peter Rahhaoui, was wrong. Stealing from anybody, no matter how wealthy, is definitely not okay. So if Rahhauoi is found guilty, it’s slammertime.

But is it possible that this driver, currently pleading not guilty to the offense, is in fact a kind of shadowy, uncelebrated hero–like a less bloodthirsty, NYC version of Dexter, and was simply doing his part as a vigilante scam artist in order to keep the world in balance?

From NY Mag:

“…back in Hong Kong, Chan’s own credibility has been called seriously into question. Chan is accused of faking the will of his mistress, late Hong Kong property magnate Nina Wang, who was reportedly worth $4.2 billion at the time of her death in 2007. She was then the richest woman in Asia. A self-proclaimed feng shui master, Chan began his relationship with Wang as a design consultant and soon became her lover — despite a two-decade age difference. He carried on his affair with her even as his own wife became pregnant and bore a son (who Chan named, wonderfully, “Wealthee”). After Wang’s death, Hong Kong authorities allege Chan forged a will naming him the sole heir to her fortune.”

Not saying Chan deserved to be swindled, or that he’s guilty of anything that hasn’t been proven. Okay, maybe if guilty of all things above, he deserved it a liiiiittle bit.

And if he’s this careless with dough and hiring, maybe Jen and I should be working for him.

[via NYMag]
[BBC News: Appeal In Hong Kong Over Nina Wang's fortune]

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Paging Pixar: How Do You Report On A Horrific Crime? Animate It!

June 3rd, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

You may have heard by now about Jarrod Wyatt (pictured right), the MMA fighter who was recently charged with murder, aggravated mayhem–also known as maiming–and torture of his sparring partner Taylor Powell. Wyatt and Powell allegedly drank some mushroom tea, which allegedly made Wyatt think his friend was Satan, which allegedly caused him to rip Powell’s heart out while he was still alive, cut off Powell’s tongue and face, and cook the body parts because Wyatt was allegedly afraid Powell was still alive (which he was so confirmedly not).

Pretty gruesome stuff, right? So how do you report this kind of story, anyway (the LA Times included a warning about “graphic and disturbing material” in their piece)?

Animate that shit! Brought to you by Apple Daily News and Next Media, the Hong Kong-based gossip outlet who made that infamous Tiger Woods car crash video:

Raise your hand if you believe there were only mushrooms in that tea?

Yeah, thought so.

[LA Times: MMA fighter charged with murder, aggravated mayhem and torture]

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Is Swinging Criminal?

May 21st, 2010 | 10 comments | Posted by Diana


A lot of people find swinging couples to be reeeeeally ewwwwwwwwwwy. I don’t mind ‘em so much. After all, what do I care? If a couple likes to screw lots of other couples, that’s their thing. And certainly, gettin’ busy is fun—why wouldn’t doubling, tripling, quadrupling up on the busy be even more fun? I imagine those great ’70s pornos where everybody’s scattered around a snow cabin, playing Boggle in their bellbottoms and tight sweaters, then suddenly everyone is naked and muffdiving and moaning like crazy on the floor in front of the fireplace–that shit is AWESOME.

Okay, swinging is probably not good for monogomy (at least according to Dr. Drew), but hey, neither is extended business travel. Or social networking.

My only real problem with swingers is that the only real-life swingers I’ve ever met have been criminally ugly and/or kinda creepy. When I was in college, a person invited me with a cheap business card and a latte order to attend a swingers night, and I swear he was Golum.

So wait. Does this guy look criminally ugly to you?

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Is Swinging Criminal?

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10 Reasons Not To Get Plastic Surgery To Look Like Jessica Alba (And One Reason To Do It)

February 5th, 2010 | 11 comments | Posted by Diana

A 21 year-old girl in China is getting plastic surgery to look like Jessica Alba.

Now Jess is really, really hot. Damn near perfect, if there is such a thing. Worse, she’s only better in person.


But why would anyone want to look like some actress instead of like themselves?

Why, for love.

You see, Xiaoqing (future patient) was dating some cheesedick for a year and a half that was so obsessed with Alba that it consumed him entirely (read: he is a freakish stalker gnome), and eventually she had to bail. Post facto, instead of thanking bejeezus that she got away from that sick, sad, reality-challenged nerdbomber, Xiaoqing began to regret the split and brainstormed ways to get him back. The result of all that thinking was the choice to alter her appearance and become, as Erasure may have put it, Alba-esque.

Continue reading 10 Reasons Not To Get Plastic Surgery To Look Like Jessica Alba (And One Reason To Do It)

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One Finger That Makes Quite A Bang

January 19th, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Diana

I know I’m really late to the game in finding out about this, but I just read that a 32-year old Chinese martial arts master named Fu Bingli scooped a Guinness world record late last year for doing 12 pushups with one finger.


From the Telegraph:

“I’ve been training since I was seven years old and my index finger has as much strength in it as most people’s entire body,” said Fu of Lianyungang, eastern China.

I read that quote and immediately was like, whoa. Not to get all gross or anything, but my pervy little mind was instantly consumed with questions: What else could ya do with a finger like that? And with what intensity? And uh, how soon??!?!?

But then I realized that his finger looks like this:

Continue reading One Finger That Makes Quite A Bang

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Pretty Spitty

June 23rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Some dude on “China’s eBay,” Taobao.com, was apparently banned from selling his product: a tonic composed of saliva taken from pretty girls, after complaints from Taobao users caught the attention of the site’s higher-ups.


Listen, we don’t have any issues with pretty girls (um, my caveat list for the preceding statement is too long to include here), but c’mon, creepos, spit is fucking disgweesting. We don’t want a drop of it landing on our nose when somebody’s talking to us, a big wad of it on the ground when we walk through the park, or a gloopy mess of it in our entree because our dinner mate insulted our waitress. Fuck spit. Fuck it.

But that isn’t what bothers us so much. The thought of somebody ordering a bottle of that bodily ick, paying the shipping and handling, sending over the PayPal amount, anxiously waiting days by the mailbox for the package to arrive, and then opening that package OF SPIT… that makes us sad.

Like, really, really, really, really sad.

Thank bejeezus nobody bought one.

[via Lemondrop]

Thanks, Cecil!

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Lai Jiansheng, aka The Bridge Pusher

May 29th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

There was some discussion at DISGRASIAN HQ this week over the actions of the Bridge Pusher, the dude in Guangdong province who pushed a suicidal man from a bridge (onto a partially-inflated, emergency air cushion).

The entire incident was captured on video:

Yes, the suicidal man, Chen Fuchao, who became despondent when he fell into heavy debt, survived with minor injuries. Sure, he had been holding up traffic for five hours. Maybe, you could even argue that the Bridge Pusher, Lai Jiansheng, 66, was simply getting shit done, shit that the police would’ve eventually done themselves.

But what the Bridge Pusher told Xinhua after the incident puts it in a far more chilling context:

I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish. Their action violates a lot of public interest,” Lai said. “They do not really dare to kill themselves.

Does it sound to you like Lai kinda wanted the suicidal guy to off himself? And that he thought Chen was a pussy for not going through with it? What, we wonder, would have happened if Chen had been contemplating suicide on some bridge in the middle of nowhere, and Lai just happened to walk by? Would he have “dared” him to hurry up and kill himself already? We shudder to think.

[AP: Suicidal man in China gets push off bridge after blocking traffic for hours, survives]

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File Under: Other Cuts

May 28th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

This week, the UK’s Metro featured this photo of Wang Xiaoyu, a barber from Changsha, in China’s Hunan Province. A nearly two-decade veteran of martial arts training, Wang is apparently attempting to attract more customers by doing haircuts while in a headstand.

We do not envy the head rush he’ll experience when he shows her the back

Err… we don’t exactly see the allure, but maybe he gives a helluva bang trim.

[via DListed]
[Metro: I Could Do This Standing On My Head]

Source

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That Chinese Sperm Bank Photo: You’ve Been Shanghaied

March 31st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

I saw this NSFW photo on BuzzFeed yesterday, allegedly taken at a Shanghai sperm bank:


…and my immediate train of thought was, Yick Yuck What the Fuck Their Sperm Works but Their Hands Don’t Being a Woman Blows. And then that quivery Kate Bush song, “This Woman’s Work,” came on in my head, and I was pissed.

But I conducted a little investigasian today and found that this picture first surfaced on the interwebz in late 2008, and it was immediately dismissed as a hoax by officials at Renji Hospital in Shanghai, where the sperm bank is located. So why, then, does this meme still persist? A coupla theories:

  1. Because the world needs more Asian massage parlor jokes
  2. Because everything in China is wack and fucked-up and backwards, unlike in the West
  3. Because Asians are inscrutable, as are their customs

The only good to cum (yuk yuk, me so funny) out of this photo is that I’m no longer outraged, I’m just bored.

Source

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Chinese Centenarasian Wants to Finally Tie the Knot

January 12th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

A 107 year-old woman in China who has never married announced recently that she now wants to tie the knot, ideally with a fellow centenarian. Wang Guiying told the Chongqing Commercial Times that she was frightened of getting married when she was younger, because she always saw her uncles and other men go all Ike Turner on their wives. She lived on her own and worked as a farmer until she was 74 and too weak to work in the fields, at which point she went to live with a nephew. But that arrangement has become less and less ideal.

“My nephews and nieces are getting older and their children are already tied up with their own families and I am becoming more and more of a burden,” she said.

Hmm. Sounds less hopelessly romantic than totally guilt-trippy. We wouldn’t exactly call public shaming the best man-trap, and normally we’d say a marriage with such a Hardass Asian Biddy is doomed, but something tells us that union, if it ever happens, isn’t going to last, um, that long anyway.

(I KNOW. WE’RE EVIL.)

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