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How To Make A Wedding Even More Awkward: A Robot

May 17th, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Diana

Here’s a romantic story…

A Japanese robotics professor falls for a beautiful female employee of Kokoro (Sanrio’s humanoid robot division). They tumble deeply in love, and are married at a beautiful ceremony, surrounded by family and friends. The sacred, romantic service is officiated by none other than their close friend… a humanoid robot with the world’s cutest voice.

And no, it wasn’t Ann Curry:




Robot. Wedding. Robot. Wedding.

OMG OMG OMG I JUST HAVE CREEPY AWKWARD TINGLES RUNNING ALL THROUGH MY BODY RIGHT NOW! MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!

[via Boing Boing]

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Add Them as a Friend

June 11th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Reason #1,293,787,099 Weddings Make People Act ReallyReallyREALLY Wack:

According to the UK’s Telegraph, Some Japanese brides feel so pressured to have a good guest showing that–in addition to forking out the hundies for an open bar, tiered cake and boring dinner plate–that they HIRE CHEERY AND CLEAN-LOOKING FOLKS TO ACT AS “FRIENDS” AT THEIR WEDDING.

Oh. My god. I have never. Heard. Of a more. Pathetic. And Sad. Set of Circumstances.

Seriously: WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK??!?!?!?!?

[Telegraph: Japanese Company Does Thriving Trade in 'Fake Friends']

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Captain Kirk’s Wedding Invitasian

October 24th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
“There’s something I’d like you to see on YouTube, Sulu.”

William Shatner took a shatner on George Takei this week by posting an interview on YouTube discussing why he wasn’t invited to Takei’s recent wedding. Among the things Captain James T. Kirk said about Sulu were:

“There is such a sickness there. It’s so patently [mispronounced 'pay-tently' --ed.] obvious that there is a psychosis there.”

“You would think he had this epiphany and say – because he and I don’t have many years left in this world – ‘I wish him well. I’m so happy that I wish him well.’ But instead what he does is he makes this big deal about not inviting me to his wedding. If I was such a terrible force in his life – even some 40-odd years later, because I’ve not seen him – that I effect his marriage where he has to isolate it, what kind of sickness is going on in the man?”

“It’s sad. I feel nothing but pity for him.”

You can watch the full interview below:

In response, Takei told Entertainment Tonight that he had in fact invited Shatner to the wedding, calling The Shat’s video rant, “silliness.” And we’re inclined to believe George. Because he may not know how to sing fer shit, but he seems a whole lot less sick and psychotic than the puffy, suspenders-wearing, sausage-fingered weirdo-who-doth-protest-too-much in that video.

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SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Yao Ming-lug-glug-glug

October 6th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Seen last week on Drunk Athlete–Yao Ming tying one on at a wedding:




There’s something so comforting about seeing perfect, untouchable Yao behave like the rest of us, don’tcha think?

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What a Wonderful Takei-sian!

September 15th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


If these aren’t the cutest wedding photos we’ve ever seen, we’re not sure what are! Many, many, many congratulasians go out to George Takei and his handsome hubby Brad Altman on their recent nuptials! We foresee a future of lots and lots of super-duper happy years spent together in domestic bliss (although, speaking from personal experience, we must insert the caveat that sometimes domestic life is just “super” and not always so “duper”).


Anyway… where should we send presents? More importantly, is there any cake left? We’re starving.

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Congratulasians, Tony Soprano!

September 2nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

James Gandolfini, 46, and Deborah Lin, 40, got hitched this weekend in her hometown of Honolulu, Hawaii. Three teams of Chinese lion dancers performed at the reception. Congratulasians, James and Deborah!

Gandolfini, who was married once before, has his work cut out for him. While they’re both in their forties, she looks ten years younger and smoking hawt, while he looks…like Tony Soprano. Dude seriously needs to hit the gym and the derm before people start mistaking his bride for his adopted daughter from China.

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Congratulasians

July 14th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


On Saturday, Black Eyed Peas rapper Taboo (aka Jaime Gomez) married fashion publicist Jaymie Dizon in Pasadena, California. The 29 year-old bride, who is of Pinaysian persuasian, looked lovely in white and was only slightly upstaged by one wedding guest…Fergie’s nips:


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Congratulasians to the Affianced!

May 19th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

The happy daysians–resulting from last week’s California Supreme Court ruling that cleared the way for gay marriage–just keep on coming! George Takei announced on his blog over the weekend that he now plans to marry his partner of over two decades, Brad Altman–and even though we hate weddings we can’t help but get kinda weepy and super-sentimental about it.

Congratulasians, Takei and Altman! Can we please be invited to the wedding? We are great gift givers and willing to dance until the band loads out.

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We’re Trying to Be pASIANt.

August 1st, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Our man Yao Ming and and fiancee Ye Li posed for wedding pictures in Linan yesterday. After cooing over the photos, it occurred to us that we still haven’t received our invitasians.

The clock is ticking, Yao! Do you need a stamp?? We need time to shop for your gift!!

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Holy Matrimasian, Part 2

July 12th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Hi Everyone! Greetings from Mongolia!

I came to witness the nuptials of my dear friends Bao Xishun (the world’s reigning tallest man) and Xia Shujian (the world’s reigning tallest man’s wife). They actually married in a civil ceremony back in March, but held the gung-ho traditional ceremony this week in front of 2,000+ people.

Wow! What a sight. The bride was a young, gorgeous lady in red and the groom looked old and tall. And oh… what a night! When the toasts were made, everyone got a good laugh from the joke about “how Big Bao is tall pretty big and long everywhere.” She certainly had a treat waiting for her that night, methinks!

Anyhoo, off to pack up my bags and go home. I can’t stay in Mongolia forever!

hugs and kisses,
Diana

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Holy Matrimasian

July 12th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

“Music” (not her real name), one of Gwen Stefani’s Harajuku Slaves, got hitched last weekend. I didn’t realize that slaveowners gave their slaves furlough. Gee, Mistress Gwen is so nice.

Looks like MISTRESS GWEN SOMEONE didn’t make the bridesmaid cut

Gwen showed up looking like the O.C. trash she really is:

“What is that Jap doing in my picture? Oh, right, I own him. Phew!”

And took time to pose with her property, er, I mean, “friend”:

“Hey, what’s-your-face? Since you just married what’s-her-name, and what’s-her-name is, like, MY property, I own you now, too. Can you dance? Do you look good in geisha makeup?”

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All I Really Need to Do Is Find…A …Brand …New …Gender

July 9th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I’m so pleased to find out that Kimora has found love again!!!

Oh wait. That’s not Kimora!!! That’s Dead or Alive’s Pete Burns (the blushing bride), tying the knot with the Michael Simpson (the man he cheated on his wife of 25 years with).

Hot!

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