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Name: Ronald Lee Clark
Hails from: LA (via Athens, TX/Choctaw, OK/Denver, CO/Seoul, KOR)
Why He’s A Babe: Ronald and the rest of Shorty’s crew are little people that make a big impact. Shorty’s Rescue of Long Beach, CA deals almost exclusively with protecting the highly misunderstood pit bull, a dog whose loyal and nurturing qualities are too-often overshadowed by the dangerous behavior of the badly mistreated. It’s important but tough and taxing work, and most people don’t have the nards to stay with it. Clark has been a longtime animal advocate, but is a relative rookie as an activist for pits—we like watching him learn and rise to the challenge.
Plus, we dig Clark’s smile lines, warm smile, and perfect tan. But should we investigate that film he did with porn superstars Jenna and Janine (eep!)? Maybe we’ll leave that to the past and stick to watching him save doggies!
Contribute to Shorty’s Rescue here.
I don’t have a photo of this chick on me, but let me tell you. I’m not convinced she would’ve won this competition with a cactus (ZING!). The answer, which she didn’t like, was a stunned: “THE DOG.”
Point is, humans can’t really contend with the cuteness of animals. It just doesn’t work. We don’t have the huggy softness of pandas. We don’t have sad, round, kitten eyes. We don’t employ a tiny frolic like the baby pudu deer. We don’t have wet, little, puppy noses.
Few people have a shot against a cute animal. And I will argue that when it comes down to it, we’ve really only got one secret weapon against our animal kingdom pals: the Asian baby.
My GOD, our babies are so damn cute that their cuteness could melt glaciers.
Pretty sure my mind is still at a barbecue. Is anyone else having a hard time getting back into the work swing of things–besides me and this dog?
Full photoshoot here.
GROOM: It’s our wedding cake! A delicious creation.
BRIDE: I still can’t believe I let you talk me into this thing. So what did you say it was again? It’s our “mountain of love?”
BRIDE: So it’s definitely not Jabba the Hutt.
GROOM: No, but he’s my favorite! Baby, we love Star Wars! Remember how we met at that Star Wars: Episode 1 screening?
BRIDE: Honey, that’s not real Star Wars. And hey, you know I don’t like to tell people we saw that piece of trash.
GROOM: I know.
BRIDE: And, okay, so you’re absolutely sure this isn’t a cake shaped like a soft, wet dog turd? Like the kind that happens in multiple piles around the house if you go on vacation and leave the dog with a dogsitter, and it gets really freaked out?
GROOM: Turd? No way.
BRIDE: It does look like a turd.
GROOM: I would contest that.
BRIDE: Good luck, buddy.
GROOM: Thank you.
BRIDE: Alright, but seriously. If this isn’t some kind of geoduck creation, I don’t know what it is.
GROOM: It’s not–
BRIDE: I can’t deal with geoducks, man. They look like angry, clammy, uncircumcised penises. I mean, hell, I love a dog in a turtleneck, just not on my mollusk.
GROOM: How many dogs in turtlenecks have you seen, exactly?
BRIDE: Um, nothing! OOOOH, cake! Let’s take the picture!!!!
Photo via DListed
Filed under: Bizarre Photographs, Bizarre Shapes, Jabba the Hutt, Star Wars, Star Wars: Episode 1, Steaming Piles of Turd, Trash, Uncircumcised Penises, We Love Dogs, Wedding Cake Rules, Weird Asian Behavior
Our friend Erin sent us this video and we about died of cute overload. Sure, we’re haters, but we’re also ASIAN–we love cuddly things–particularly babies, dogs (not for eating) and pandas!
So may I introduce… THE PANDA DOG.
Some of you seem to think there’s no point in a video unless there is an accompanying lesson or message. Here’s a bottom line–indeterminate races are cool!