You are currently browsing posts tagged with We All Look Alike

If You’re A 28 Year-Old Chinese Dude, Now’s The Time For Crimin’

March 3rd, 2011 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Researchers have discovered that the world’s most “typical face” looks like this:

It’s the face of a 28 year-old Han Chinese man–a composite made from 190,000 photos–based on the fact that 28 is the median age of the world’s population, Han Chinese is the largest ethnic group globally, and men outnumber women. Currently, there are 9 million 28 year-old Han Chinese men in the world.

This may sound suspiciously like a sorta scientific way of saying all Asians look alike, but there’s an upshot!

If you look even a little bit like the dude in the photo, now would be a great time for a career change.

[Yahoo! News: The most typical face on the planet]

Thanks, Josh!

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DOUBLE DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Alicia Machado & Paulina Rubio

December 1st, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by Diana

If Alicia Machado, actress/singer and former Miss Universe, hadn’t quit Twitter, perhaps she would’ve continued to chat with her pal, Mexican singer/actress Paulina Rubio, about the recent public outcry against her prayers for The Chinas. We imagine it might have gone something like…

YoSoyMzUniverse96* Alicia Machado
Me encanta @paurubio, thx 4 ur support w/ all the china drrama! ppl r stoopid

paurubio Paulina Rubio
@yosoymzuniverse96 Hay girl! Dont let haterz hate. All thoz Japanes look the same!

YoSoyMzUniverse96 Alicia Machado
@paurubio wut ppl dont understand is i’m really a good person, jus wanted every1 to pray for those chinese ppl that are being attacked, not the 1s who attacked or nuthing

paurubio Paulina Rubio
@yosoymzuniverse96 besos chica! ppl should be proud that such a hot mama knows so much abt current news affairs. n korea is same place as n asia/s japan, etc. all look same N E wayz Continue reading DOUBLE DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Alicia Machado & Paulina Rubio

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We All Look Alike? Well If You Say So, Let’s Get A Drink

September 15th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

I used my sister’s California drivers license as a fake ID from age 14 to 20. She’s eight years older, four inches shorter, and about 20 pounds lighter than me. I remember using the faker in Vegas with a mouthful of braces to win $160 in blackjack, during high school to get into 21+ shows, and all through college to stock my liquid-soaked house parties with coconut-flavored rum and Wild Turkey. Look, if the person checking my face was too dumb to tell us apart, who was I to point out their inadequacies? And for crying out loud, if a Parrot Bay and Wild Turkey purchase isn’t a dead giveaway of total underage-ness, I don’t know what is.

Is benefiting from some dork thinking all Asians look alike wrong? I don’t know. Do I care? Eh, not really.

Gawker reported this morning that three Japanese Lolitas (image above is not them) crashed Tom Ford’s ultra-secret, 100-seat fashion week party Monday night (just one bash, according to a tipster, of many among “the hottest parties all around town.”) Clad in platforms and pinafores, the trio gained entry by saying that one of them was Vogue Nippon editor-in-chief Mitsuko Watanabe, whose photo is to the right (One can only infer that Watanabe rarely, if ever, rocks her homeland’s esoteric, dirty-little-girl street style).

Unfortunately for the imposter and her party pals, Watanabe had already arrived and was seated in her, er, seat. The jig was quickly up and the girls were sent on their merry way. But the coup did happen–success for the Japanese Lolita tricksters! Can you blame them for trying? And succeeding?

Look, if the hoighty-toighty party list weilders are too stupid to tell them apart…

[via Gawker]
[Styleite: Japanese Trio Crashes Tom Ford's Private Show]

Continue reading We All Look Alike? Well If You Say So, Let’s Get A Drink

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DISGRASIAN’s Summer Reading: Multicolr Search Lab

August 10th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

We’ll be away from our desks the month of August, carrying on with the non-bloggy aspects of our lives, watching mindless movie blockbusters, and indulging in summery drinks made with generous pours of bourbon. During this month, we’ll be linking each day to a different website that we ♥. Hopefully you’ll discover something delightful and new while we’re gone. If not, you are a serious Captain Crankypants and are probably in dire need of a summery drink made with a generous pour of bourbon.

‘Til September, lovelies.


Many of our readers are Asian/Asian American, and a lot of DISGRASIAN posts are about Asian/Asian American events and issues. I can’t tell you how often Jen and I are asked to distill the opinions (based on comments and responses) that emerge in response to our blog, and declare an Asian American “take”–the collective opinion on this or that item. But as Jen said during one of our AAJA panels last week, “We don’t all look alike, and we don’t all think alike.” After more than three years of writing this blog, that’s the one thing we know for certain. Though yellow pride may swell in all of our chests, some of us sway towards goldenrod, others blonde, and others… lemon!

The thought of our peeps as a multitude of brilliant shades on a near-infinite color palette has reminded my of one of my favorite visual technology sites, Idée’s Multicolr Search Lab. The visual search software developer “extracted the colours from 10 million of the most “interesting” Creative Commons images on Flickr. Using [the] visual similarity technology you can navigate the collection by colour.” Continue reading DISGRASIAN’s Summer Reading: Multicolr Search Lab

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How To Draw Asian Women…Or Cracked-Out, Leathery, Plastic-Surgeried Italian Designers, As It Were [VIDEO]

November 16th, 2009 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

There are so many things wrong with this little one-and-a-half-minute how-to video, “How to Draw Asian Women”:



But I’ll just name two.

  1. The premise
  2. The fact that the end result is a dead ringer for Donatella Versace

Screen shot 2009-11-16 at 1.23.24 PM

Thanks, Andy!

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@MileyCyrus Should Stop Tweeting

April 1st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
“FEEEED ME!

Miley Cyrus took her fat face and creepy model boyfriend to Koi last night for some mediocre pseudo-sushi, apparently keeping her Blackberry close all night to Twitter constantly for her fans.

From Gossip Girls:

During the meal, Miss Cyrus let all of her Twitter fans know exactly how she was feeling, tweeting, “Eating sushi! Omgosh California Rolls are from heaven!!! Praise GOD!”

Now, that’s a tweet that we–had we been following the tween on Twitter–would have had to respectfully disagreet with via replytweet @mileycyrus (sorry, this is confusing for me twoo, I mean twoot, I mean–). Here’s the deal: California rolls are baaaarely sushi, and–as I learned from Jen after she did months of research with a multitude of our fine city’s famed sushi chefs– borne from Los Angeles and not “heaven.”

Miss Miley followed up her food epiphony with another insider nugget of info:

“My waiter at Koi looks like dude from HGTV! Is it weird if I ask for an autograph?”

UH.

Maybe we would just…say something

@mileycyrus you aren’t talking about vern yip, are you?

@mileycyrus http://tinyurl.com/bleepox123


@mileycyrus surely yer not just saying that cuz he’s azn!!!

@mileycyrus maybe he’z not asian, maybe just has a goofy face

@mileycyrus oh u must mean the other dude on hgtv, eric stromer? hot! http://tinyurl.com/blargh345


@mileycyrus totally ask him for his autograph!

@mileycyrus u can make your face look thinner if u tilt it slightly

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The Not-So-Suite Life

July 30th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Brenda Song, the 20-year old star of Disney’s The Suite Life of Zack & Cody, is currently trying to sue an L.A. woman for $100k in damages, for allegedly using her head shot in an escort service classified ad (see above).

The accused, Vanessa Sena, apparently pulled Song’s photo from the web and ran the ad with a fake name, “Layla,” along with the tagline: “Hawaiin [sic] beauty. Come get lei’d.”

I have just one thing to say to Sena. Brenda is not HAWAIIN! SHE IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT HAWAIIN! She is Chinese/Thai, as a matter of fact–not HAWAIIN. Do we all look alike to you???

Source

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The Good, The Bad, and The Incompetent

April 23rd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Dear Jezebel,

Do I look like Diane Nguyen, the hot poker player?


I don’t think so. I’d like to, because she’s very slim and pretty, but I just don’t see the resemblance. Jezebel sure seems to, though!

Sure, photo source FilmMagic may have started the trouble by spelling my name incorrectly when logging my “celebrity appearance” (huh?) for Declare Yourself at Russell Simmons’s “Turn Up the Vote” event last week. And yes, I wish I hadn’t eaten so many slices of Sally’s pizza during DISGRASIAN’s visit to Yale just days before, which apparently rendered me a full-on bloatation device and unrecognizable to the public.

But FilmMagic isn’t responsible for research. They take pictures. Jezebel, however low your standards may be, is supposed to be accountable for its words. And right now, you’ve gotta be responsible for this case of mistasian identity: I am not a poker player. I don’t even know what a royal flush is without a little armagnac in me. Please, please get that fact straight the next time you’re sifting through the B-list returns from a red carpet photo-op!

We’ve begged HRC to always do her homework. Now, we ask you to do the same. Come on Jez, reprzent a little for the ladies, and prove that you aren’t as inept as we’re starting to think you are.

Warmly,
Diana

Source Source Source Source Source

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Nasianal Treasure

December 7th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
Nicolas Cage and wife Alice Kim at the Japanese premiere of National Treasure:


NIC CAGE: Say it again, honey.

ALICE KIM: [long sigh] Okay. Oh Nicky, baby, the movie is so great. Actually, the movie is okay, you are brilliant.

NIC CAGE: Great, thanks. How does it feel to be back in your homeland?

ALICE KIM: You mean Asia?

NIC CAGE: Nippon, baby, land of the rising sun!

ALICE KIM: Nic, I’m not Japanese.

NIC CAGE: What are you talking about? Yes you are. I met you when you were handing me chopsticks.

ALICE KIM: That was a Korean lounge. I’m Korean. Remember when I spoke almost only Korean?

NIC CAGE: No.

ALICE KIM: That was before your last round of hair plugs. It wasn’t so long ago.

NIC CAGE: But don’t you speak a little Japanese?

ALICE KIM: Um, no.

NIC CAGE: Sure you do.

ALICE KIM: I assure you I don’t.

NIC CAGE: That’s so weird, though!

ALICE KIM: Is it??

NIC CAGE: Yeah! Augh. Oh man, I’m totally hungry, when is this going to be over?

ALICE KIM: You promised that after this we would go shopping.

NIC CAGE: Hrmm?

ALICE KIM: I need a new bag.

NIC CAGE: But you bought a new bag this morning.

ALICE KIM: Do you want another son?

NIC CAGE: I want a sandwich.

ALICE KIM: Just take the picture.

Source

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