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We know how much you’re looking forward to tomorrow. Maybe it’s because you can’t wait to get your free ice cream cone at Ben and Jerry’s, or your free cup of coffee at Starbucks, or your free doughnut at Krispy Kreme. Maybe because you’ve never voted before, and you can’t wait to be de-virginized. Maybe you really, really, really want an “I Voted” sticker (they’re damn cool). Maybe because you want to be able to watch TV without hearing the words “Bradley effect.” Maybe because you’re tired of Sarah Palin, or Keith Olbermann talking about Sarah Palin, or us talking about unfunny stuff like lynching images, the importance of civil rights, and usage of the word “gook.”
Listen, we want tomorrow to happen more than anybody. We want nothing more than to see an end to our election-anxiety-induced insomnia. I want to have a social life again. I’m sure Jen wants me to stop trying to re-register her to vote, even though she’s been registered 4eva and hasn’t moved AND the deadline in California passed long ago (Hey, you can’t register too many times, right?). We want to spend our evenings playing Guitar Hero 4 (it’s dope), not stressing about constituents. We want to start working on our Inauguration Day outfits! We BOTH want to write about things like pandas, and Bai Ling, parties, low-rider Acuras–things that do matter, but don’t feel as fucking life-and-death as everything seems (and is) in the 2008 election.
We are all different. We land differently on the issues, on the candidates, on this whole godforsaken country (and whether or not it’s UnAmerican and/or “godless” to say that). But where we should all be the same is our willingness to take the time out, to think beyond ourselves, and vote.
If you haven’t voted already, please vote tomorrow. We don’t care who you vote for (that’s a bit of a lie–yes we do), or why you vote, or what you do before and after. But we do care that you vote. We live in a country where voting–a privilege, on many levels–is our right. Our choice. And if we choose to be selfish, ignorant, lazy, or apathetic enough to ignore that right, we are a disgrace to ourselves and our country’s ambitious stab at democracy.
Tomorrow, if you’re waiting in a long line and you’re pissed about it, or if you’re angry at the system because our election process is so fucked (it is), or if you’re stuck on the fact that you hate government and don’t want to play into their silly/bureaucratic/two-party/The-Man-Makes-the-Rules game, please vote anyway. Please think outside of yourself and remember that there are a lot of other people in this country that don’t have the luxury to sit back and watch this country burn. They have lives and families and homes (hopefully) and jobs, and sicknesses, and retirement funds, and stakes–REAL STAKES–that will be directly affected by this election.
We are taking tomorrow off in honor of Election Day (which should be a day off for everyone, anyway), so as not to provide you with any distractions.
Please take the time. Vote. VOTE. VOTE. VOTE. VOTE. VOTE.
Hails from: Los Angeles, CA (via Seoul, Korea)
Known for: Being one half (the “Harold” of “Harold and Kumar…”) of our favorite stoner flick duo of all time, the only worthy reign-taker of the Hikaru Sulu role in J.J. Abrams’ s forthcoming Star Trek flick, Jen’s and my long-long-longstanding crush.
Cho recently spoke out against Proposition 8–as a new father, an immigrant, a proud American, an Asian-American, a person who believes in the ideals of equality, and as a voter. Most importantly, as you will see in the video, Cho speaks about this issue as a man–a real man in every sense of the word (especially if the word is in our book).
If only everyone had the balls to be real men.
Show you do, Californians, by Voting No on Proposition 8 tomorrow.
Hey guys! What’s up? I’ve been watching your Prop 8 YouTube video over and over since Diana posted it yesterday, and I feel compelled to tell you: YOUR SON RANDY IS GAY. I don’t mean in that Hilary Duff way. I mean gay-gay. Don’t ask me how I know; I have wicked awesome gaydar is all.
P.S. When Randy comes out in 10 years and you disown him, send him along to us, will ya? We really ♥ gaysians. Peace.
Close to a thousand people from several dozen Bay Area churches gathered in a Silicon Valley park Sunday to support Proposition 8, the gay marriage ban, in what the Mercury News described as a “largely Asian crowd.” The group turned the rally into a full-blown rager, letting their Jesus Freak flag fly by singing Christian songs, reciting Biblical passages, and blathering on about the sanctity of marriage.
One spokesman for the “Yes on 8″ campaign in attendance disputed the recent poll finding that the majority of Californiasians reject the ban, saying the results were based on old data. Other people there said that marriage between a man and woman was the “foundation of traditional Asian societies.” (And here we thought it was perfect grades, pale skin, a mastery of a musical instrument, and fuel-efficient, economy-size sedans. Huh.)
Then there was one Yuki Ku, who told a reporter:
“God created marriage, and we’re his creations. We don’t have the privilege or right to say anything,” she said. “He’s the author of the universe.”
A sentiment we couldn’t have expressed better ourselves. But here’s our awkward paraphrase: SO SHUT YOUR CRAZY PIEHOLE, BITCH.
I don’t understand how my parents–who are freakin’ GENIUSES–can’t operate their computers, cannot so much as comprehend that the Internet is not a “place,” and email is not a thing that you “go to.” They are voting Obama and could not even dream of joining Facebook to write that fact in their respective status updates. I’d call it their one flaw, but they’d probably disown me, so instead I’ll just say they’re perfect! (Respeck, Moms! Hi!)
How is that the case, yet the also-older,
ignorant half-broken simple Asian minds behind Family Keepers, a Chinese god-fearin’ conservative group, somehow managed to drum enough half-wits to create a whole five minutes of web content in support of Proposition 8? HOW?
We’ll say it yet again: Prop 8 is a disgusting, insecure, unfair resolution to the problems held deep by an ignorant sub-population crippled by fear.
And let us add: Fucktarded propaganda and a completely invalid slippery-slope mentality…
Maybe it’s not always a good thing when Asians get politically involved.
Feel free to tell them so: email@example.com.
Good news: the majority of Asian-Americans in California support gay marriage, and will vote “no” in November on Proposition 8, the gay marriage ban. A recent poll conducted by researchers at Cal, UC Riverside, USC, and Rutgers shows 57% of Asian-American voters voting against Prop 8, with only 32% for and 11% undecided.
Well done, people. And I say this for your sake. Because I know that Diana was not kidding around the other day when she said, “Prop 8 is a disgusting, insecure, unfair resolution to the problems held deep by an ignorant sub-population crippled by fear,” and threatened to drunk-dial the bigots who support it. I like to think of her as the warmer and fuzzier half of DISGRASIAN, but that’s only if you’re on her good side (plying her with gifts of Marni, cool cigarette lighters, anything related to owls, single malt scotch, and coasters–girlfriend loves a coaster–does help).
As for the 32% voting for Proposition 8, I strongly recommend that you unplug your phones starting now.
The other day, I received a cold call on my cell phone from Jim, a phone bank operator working with the campaign supporting Proposition 8, the
fucktarded, bigoted backwards ban on gay marriage. He left a message asking me to support the fundamentals of “traditional marriage.”
After listening to his voicemail, I used the callback feature to hit him back on his cell phone.
“HI JIM,” I said. “This is Diana. You called me earlier regarding Prop 8?”
“Yes, I did! I want–”
I continued: “I don’t know how you got my fucking phone number, but I don’t ever want you to call me again. Whatever list my name is on, you need to fucking take it off right now. Your cause disgusts me. What you’re doing is not good. Prop 8 is a disgusting, insecure, unfair resolution to the problems held deep by an ignorant sub-population crippled by fear. It’s a fucking disgrace. You should do better with yourself. You’re wasting your time on bigotry and hatred, maybe you should spend some on getting educated. Or just fucking pick your ass all day. I don’t fucking care, you fucking asshole.”* [Click]
I have kept his phone number for future drunk dials. But I do wish I hadn’t lashed out with expletives, and perhaps reached across the gap to try and talk some reason into the stupid prick.
Our lady Margaret Cho–who clearly does better–has taken a much nicer, more-proactive approach to condemning Prop 8:
I suggest taking her advice and talk gently with your friends, family, and neighbors. And try not to use the word “fucking,” unless of course you’re saying something helpful like, “Fucking is fun for everybody, but don’t you think that sex is better for married couples? I think all gay and straight couples have the right to more fucking fun and good sex. Yeah! Can I get a woot woot? And a high-five! Now let’s go vote ‘No!’”
* This transcript is not 100% accurate. I’ve corrected grammar, aggrandized some words, and omitted some expletives to make myself sound smarter and more articulate. But this is half my gosh-darned blog, so I can do whatever the heck I want.
Filed under: Cold Calls, Don't Be An Asshole, Drunk Dials, Expletives, Fucking, Ignorant Fools, Margaret Cho, Proposition 8, PSAs, Same-Sex Marriage, Stupid Campaigns, Stupid Pricks, Tempers, VOTE NO ON PROP 8