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Oh Bruno, Bruno, Bru-noooooooooo.
AMAZIAN STATUS REVOKED!
But Jen, you say, who doesn’t love a little bumpity-bump now and then, a little Frosty the Snowman and Christmas come early? What, you don’t like to party? And I say, Sure, if you like diarrhea of the mouth, a limp dick, and the persistent feeling that there’s a crusty booger hanging out your nose that you can’t quite get to all night, have your fun, man.
But here’s the problem: Before you become a rock star cliche, you gotta become a rock star. Getting caught with coke is so third act of your career, not the first. No one knows who the fuck you are yet. You didn’t win a VMA. And your debut solo record is still a week away from dropping. Even Paris Hilton released a full-length album before she got busted with drugs twenty times in one month. And that album actually and astonishingly Continue reading We Regret To Inform You That Your Amazian Status Has Been Revoked
Filed under: Bruno Mars, Bruno Mars Cocaine Bust, Bruno Mars Las Vegas Cocaine Bust, Clichés, Coke, Coke Whores, Drugs, Former Amazians, Paris Hilton, Peter Hernandez, Stripped Of Their Title, VMAs, White Lady
Name: Bruno Mars (né Peter Hernandez)
Hails from: Hawaii
Occupation: Singer, songwriter, producer
Known for: Co-writing and producing the most viral song of 2010, Cee-Lo’s “Fuck You”; co-writing and lending his smooth R&B stylings to B.o.B’s “Nothin’ on You,” which was nominated for Best Pop Video at this year’s VMAs, where Mars performed a “Nothin’ on You,” “Airplanes” and “The Only Exception” medley with B.o.B and Paramore’s Hayley Williams, a trio MTV billed as the VMAs’ “dream team” (watch a grainy version of it here); looking kinda dorky cool in a fedora.
Speaking of dreams, Hawaiian native Bruno Mars, who is of Puerto Rican and Filipino descent, has been steadily realizing his of late. After penning the feel-good kiss-off song of the summer and getting nominated for a VMA, the 23 year-old singer, who’s thus far been better known for his writing and producing skillz, will finally take center stage with the release Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Bruno Mars
Filed under: B.o.B, Bruno Mars, Cee-Lo Fuck You, Dream Teams, Filipinos, Hawaiians, Hayley Williams, Kanye West, Mixed People, Mixed-Race People, Music Producers, Musicians, Paramore, Peter Hernandez, Pinoy Pride, Pinoys, Singer/Songwriters, Taylor Swift, Video Music Awards, VMAs
Enough about Kanye already. Since when did the VMAs become the Nobel Prize ceremony anyway? It’s an awards show for music videos. You know, like really short films for people with even shorter attention spans. The actual awards are called “moonmen.” And did you honestly know who Taylor Swift was before Kanye “took away her moment”? I’ve been seeing her pointy face everywhere for some time without any real idea of who she is. Now I can name one of her songs at least. (I do concur with our Prez, though, that Kanye’s a “jackass.” But enough about that already, too.)
Because what really shocked me at the VMAs was what’s happening to Madonna’s face.
Dude. This is a scary slippery slope that does not lead to a good place: