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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Annabel Park

March 15th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana


Name: Annabel Park

Age: 41

Hails from: Silver Spring, Maryland

Occupation: Filmmaker, Founder of Coffee Party USA

Known for: Partying down. In a moment of frustration, Park posted a Facebook status update rejecting the “disproportionally effective” actions of the Tea Party movement. She wrote, “We should just start our own party, call it the Coffee Party or the Smoothie Party—anything but Tea.”

For many people that would be a fleeting statement, followed naturally by something like, “Annabel Park is looking forward to a great weekend!”

Instead, the “Coffee Party” idea took root, and with the aid of Park’s producing partner Eric Byler, grew and grew and grew. No longer just a clever phrase, the Coffee Party has become a movement of its very own–one that does not attack government officials or constituents but the mishandled American political system. The Coffee Party’s Facebook page now boasts over 160,000 fans and the official site presents a bright call to action, asking Americans from all political leanings to calmy organize, debate, speak up, support candidates… civic engagement without all the petty fighting.

Through their online venues, the Party launched its first National Coffee Day last Saturday, which included meetings in over 350 coffee shops in 44 states. See photos on their Flickr page or video below:

Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Annabel Park

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That Chinese Sperm Bank Photo: You’ve Been Shanghaied

March 31st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

I saw this NSFW photo on BuzzFeed yesterday, allegedly taken at a Shanghai sperm bank:


…and my immediate train of thought was, Yick Yuck What the Fuck Their Sperm Works but Their Hands Don’t Being a Woman Blows. And then that quivery Kate Bush song, “This Woman’s Work,” came on in my head, and I was pissed.

But I conducted a little investigasian today and found that this picture first surfaced on the interwebz in late 2008, and it was immediately dismissed as a hoax by officials at Renji Hospital in Shanghai, where the sperm bank is located. So why, then, does this meme still persist? A coupla theories:

  1. Because the world needs more Asian massage parlor jokes
  2. Because everything in China is wack and fucked-up and backwards, unlike in the West
  3. Because Asians are inscrutable, as are their customs

The only good to cum (yuk yuk, me so funny) out of this photo is that I’m no longer outraged, I’m just bored.

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Love Animasian

September 22nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

We learned via TechCrunch that the newest Interwebs sensation in Japan is a social networking/virtual dating site called Webkare (“web boyfriend”). The site is geared exclusively towards girls and, to participate, they compete and collaborate with other members to win the heart of one four desirable cartoon boys on the site.


Let’s ignore the details of the competition for now. From a glance at the boys, I can admit that they are among the, um, prettiest virtual people I’ve ever seen. But until somebody looks like my boyfriend Teppei Teranishi


…I’m not playing.

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Barack Obama Loves Young White Women

July 31st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

The McCain camp released an official smear ad yesterday simply entitled, “Celeb,” which juxtaposes Senator Obama with clips of Britney Spears (circa 1999) and Paris Hilton, supposedly highlighting Obama’s lack of substance despite his undeniable star power.

Frankly, we find the ad to be pretty embarrassing. It’s simply not good–the video quality is terrible, the editing shoddy, the voice-over nearly comical, the celebutard footage ineffective. And hey, we’re proud of the GOP for trying to get jiggy with thems newfangled concepts of viral interwebs marketing and all, but uh, they’re probably gonna have to do better than that.

Still, the piece has gotten a lot of attention, and in the process drawn quite a bit of controversy. One take in particular caught our eye via Political Punch–liberal blogger Josh Marshall from Talking Points Memo condemned McCain’s attacks yesterday but focused on one specific extrapolation we hadn’t even thought of:

“…the McCain campaign is now pushing the caricature of Obama as a uppity young black man whose presumptuousness is displayed not only in taking on airs above his station but also in a taste for young white women.”

Um… I’m not proud of McCain’s decision to resort to attack ads, but I have to say that in watching “Celeb” about 25 times over, I witnessed Obama being criticized for being all bark and no bite, being lauded for non-achievements, being celebrated for simply being a celebrity. But the thought never once struck me that Obama was being defamed with the insinuation that he likes to dabble in “young white women.”

What made us even go there? Obama, by all accounts, is a happily married man with a beautiful wife. And the footage in “Celeb” simply references the two most useless (yet most famous) stars of this decade. So I wonder how the point of lust was even dragged into the dialogue. Does a picture of a white woman and a black man instantly connote sexuality? Do we assume that even if black man isn’t leering over taut blondes, he must be denying the fact that he wants to? Do we always refer to people this way, by color?

My god, is this really 2008? I feel like I’m in a fucking time warp.

I also feel like I just spoke to someone at a dinner party that said, “I just love Black people. They’re such wonderful musicians and athletes.”

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Magibutt

June 26th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


Remember Magibon, the YouTube sensasian who started a whole genre of whatthefuckery on the web by smiling and staring into a camera?

When we last wrote about her, we wondered why she was so tight-lipped. Our theory was that she had just thrown up in her mouth. We were close:

Magibon Does Japan


DENTAL DISGRASIAN ALERT!!! Except, of course, homegirl’s not really Asian.

But given the fact that Magibon is practically mute, obsessed with cute, and has made a career out of soliciting herself to internet pervs…she might as well be.

Yaysian?

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! An Uncanny Fascinasian with Spitzer’s Hooker

March 14th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

The first morning after the New York Times published their dirty-digging piece on the inner workings of Client 9′s “Kristen,”–aka aspiring R&B singer Ashley Alexandra Dupré (but born Ashley Youmans)– the woman of so many average names’ two-year old MySpace page had clocked in only a few hundred thousand page views. Less than 48 hours later, we now observe that she’s currently working her way towards 8 million.

We at DISGRASIAN are taking this Internet traffic anomoly personally. 8 million hits in less than two days?!? That’s 8 million page views that could have, nay, should have been ours. What the fuzz?

Additionally, we’ve also learned that Dupré’s debut single, “What We Want,” previously available for free on the budding online music source Amie Street, has now been jacked up in download price–to the site’s highest number, 98 cents–due to its overwhelming popularity. Thank you, Eliot!

HUH? Wha?? She’s making even more money off of screwing for money? This has got to be the definition whoring yourself out! Or wait, let’s back up on the judgment a bit, is it simply entrepreneurial to turn your John’s bust into your Internet boom? It’s hard to tell–we feel kinda like Kit DeLuca in Pretty Woman when hooker newbie Vivian suddenly gets whisked out of their shitty, VD-riddled apartment in Hollywood to spend her life popping polo divets into the ground with hot, rich Edward Lewis, simply because she kissed him on the lips. Why her and not us?

All we really want to know is, do you really have to hit it to get those kinds of hits? Somebody tell us, please! We still won’t become high-class hookers, we just really, really want to understand.

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Chocolate Pain

August 10th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Conversation earlier today at DISGRASIAN HQ:

JEN: Dude, what’s the deal with “Chocolate Rain?”

DIANA: What do you mean?

JEN: I don’t get it.

DIANA: Well, it’s… it’s…

JEN: …it’s funny? That’s what everyone says, but I don’t see it.

DIANA: Well there’s this guy, and he looks really young, and he kind of awkwardly sings these bad songs. And he has this really cheesy profile on YouTube.

JEN: Riiight. And that’s funny.

DIANA: Well not exactly.

JEN: I don’t think we’re really getting anywhere here.

DIANA: Did you watch the fart spoof version?

JEN: Isn’t “Chocolate Rain” really its own spoof?

DIANA: Ok, yes. But fart sounds are funny.

JEN: I watched it.

DIANA: Hmm.

[pregnant pause]

DIANA: Well, imagine your chagrin when you watch the “Shaolin Rain” version from Kevin and Bean!

JEN: Are you kidding?

DIANA: Well, no.

[They watch "Shaolin Rain" together]

JEN: Welp, I guess it’s time to call it a day.

DIANA: I don’t get it!

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