You are currently browsing posts tagged with Venereal Diseases

Famous-for-Humping

February 24th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
Clashing vaginas at last night’s CAA party

TILA: Smoochles!

PARIS: [rolling eyes] Uh-huh.

TILA: You look good, girl.

PARIS: Uh-huh.

TILA: How ARE you?

PARIS: Good. Um, interesting dress… thing, or whatever.

TILA: Thank you! I’m trying to do a throwback to like, old, uh, Hollywood glamour, or whatever.

PARIS: Or like, disco?

TILA: Right.

PARIS: And like, mummies. And nurses.

TILA: Hmph. [scans Paris's body] Are you even wearing a dress?

PARIS: My parts are covered and I look hot, so yeah.

TILA: Ah. I feel bad for you. I don’t like, roll that way anymore. I changed my image.

PARIS: To what? A singer for ABBA?

TILA: No, like cleaned up and classy. I had my lawyers start taking all of the pictures of me off of the Internet.

PARIS: [laughs uncontrollably] I don’t think that’s going to work, betch.

TILA: [getting angry] What, bitch?

PARIS: Nothing. Never mind. I’m sure people will totally take all of those pictures of your dirty pussy off of the Web. Are we done here?

TILA: We’re done here, you hater!

PARIS: Good, I need to go get some disinfectant for my face.

TILA: Oh that’s really nice. Really nice. While you’re at it, you should disinfect your crotch.

PARIS: Whatever you say, cooze breath.

TILA: Eat a dick!

PARIS: I will!

[They stomp off in a huff.]

TILA: [to self] Hunh. Who won that one?

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STD: This Stuff Totally Math-ers

September 16th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Are venereal diseases like integers?


I only ask cuz like, rumor has it that Tila Tequila and Brody Jenner recently sucked face. I just figure that if one celebutard shoves their tongue inside another celebutard, their respective cooties germs STDs then cancel each other out (like, a negative times a negative equaling a positive), and everybody can just call it a night and go home.

Since they’ve already conducted the experiment, maybe I should ask them! I’m soooo curious!

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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MTV A-Cha

July 11th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


MTV has announced that the The Pussycat Dolls will be the opening act of the upcoming MTV Asia awards.

Says the press release:

Asian audiences will experience for themselves a spectacular concert performance in typical Pussycat Dolls fashion, complete with visually extraordinary elements like fireworks displays, flashy costumes and amazing dance moves by the girls.

The performance will be The Dolls’ first in Asia. Are our overseas brethren really ready to be flashed?

All I can say is: if ever there was a time to develop a continent-sized condom, NOW IS THAT TIME.

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Well.I.Never

June 13th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I’ve been convinced, after talking to the guy and seeing his willingness to change the world (through the philanthropy of his Peapod Foundasian, dedicasian to get out the American vote, and impromptu ignition of the “Yes We Can” movement), that Will.I.Am is a brilliant, talented, and overall bitchin’ fellow.

But if the rumors that he is now dating the loathsome queen of exploitasian, Tila Tequila, are true…


…maybe he’s just a bitch.

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Thanks, jRu!

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Shame Bai Association

March 27th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


JONATHAN RHYS-MEYERS: Oh my god, did you just take a bloody picture of us with this creature?

RADHA MITCHELL: Jesus Jonathan, I told you never to let her sit here.

BAI LING: Dooooo youuu liiiikkkee myyy lippppsss?

RADHA MITCHELL: This is “The Tudors” premiere. How did you get in here?

BAI LING: I haave twoo doors. Dooo youu want to seeee my back dooor?

JONATHAN RHYS-MEYERS: Mate, would you mind deleting that photo from your camera? My publicist is going to kill me.

RADHA MITCHELL: Jonathan, I think we both just got genital warts.

BAI LING: I liiikkee partyy.

JONATHAN RHYS-MEYERS: SIR, DO NOT MAKE ME BREAK YOUR FUCKING CAMERA

RADHA MITCHELL: Bai, pull your dress back down. For the love of God.

BAI LING: PAARTTYY!!!

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