You are currently browsing posts tagged with Unfunny Stuff

Sometimes You Wonder If They Mean, Like, Funny "Ha Ha"

July 1st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Jen and I always read all of most of some of our mail. And we get it–sometimes, folks are not happy with all of the things we say. There are people who feel we’re too rough on Ann Curry (By the way: Seriously? It’s not like she isn‘t a robot). And there are those few remaining Gwen Stefani fans who wish we whouldn’t comment on her man-shoulders. There’s Tila Tequila, who likes our sense of humor (??!), but changes her mind once she sees we don’t believe she actually buys Chanel (or that she should exist).

Maybe y’all get mad sometimes. And you want to tell us. That’s cool, guys. That’s fine. That’s par for the course for two ladies pouring pitchers of Haterade.

But might I make one request: the next time you’re all worked up, huffy and puffy with your mouse clicking away and your little fingers tippity-tappity-ing against your keyboard, fueled by unsettled angst while composing an angry email to us–please remember what your Asian “ha ha” alternative might be if gals like us weren’t busy policing the Web:

“OMG” is precisely what comes to mind

…and try to see that we’re just tryin’ to do our job. And we love you–we’re just trying to keep you safe and free from humiliasian and shame, caused by our fellow citizens.

Unless you’ve got a real hankering for “69 Photos of Asian Girls Posing,” all day, every day–in which case, DISGRASIAN is probably not the site for you. Please. Step. Away.

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Thanks, H.K.!

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Binghamton Gunman

April 3rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Our heads have been swimming with emotions today as we wait anxiously for news developments, regarding today’s shooting at The American Civic Association building in Binghamton, to trickle out of New York.

Personally, I’m collecting all of the details, trying to process them methodically. But my mind inevitably strays from the facts of today’s tragedy–wandering off to think obliquely about the people I don’t really know anything about: the yet-to-be-identified victims and hostages. I picture small, simple rooms filled with immigrants–like my parents and grandparents were three decades ago– so committed to making their family’s lives better and doing so by the book, the old-fashioned way. I think about how they couldn’t possibly have known what was going to happen to them today and how they absolutely didn’t deserve it. How they probably didn’t understand what was happening, except that they were probably going to be killed.

What are their parents thinking? What are their children feeling?

I wonder what it felt like for the survivors, in the hours they spent thinking that they were probably going to die in America without being an American.

Mostly, I feel confused. And deeply sad. In a way that I can’t really articulate, I just feel sorry that this is what happens sometimes in this country.

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Binghamton, NY: Don’t Shoot

April 3rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


HAPPENING RIGHT NOW: at least four people have been killed, dozens shot, and more taken hostage at a Binghamton, NY American Civic Association, which offers services to immigrants.

When we woke up to this news, we dreaded hearing eyewitness accounts that the gunman (who is still in the building) was Asian. But those accounts keep coming.

Watch the story unfold at CNN.com.

*Update: Local News 10 (aired on televised CNN) just reported that two men of Asian descent have been removed from the building in handcuffs by officers in regular police uniforms.

[CNN: 12 die, up to 40 held hostage in Binghamton shootings]

Thanks, Chris

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Arr the Singre Ragies

March 27th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

When I was at Yale, Mixed Company had the reputation of being the “funny singing group.” You know, as opposed to the “hot singing group” (that would have been the Baker’s Dozen, or the “BD’s” for men, and Something Extra, aka “Sextra,” for women) or the “serious singing group” (Red Hot + Blue) or the “angry feminist group” (The New Blue, to which I belonged).

But that was a long-ass time ago, kiddies. And my-oh-my how things have changed, as evidenced by Mixed Company’s current YouTube parody of Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies”:

Does the world really need another “Single Ladies” spoof? Or, for that matter, more pedestrian rice jokes? Don’t get me wrong, we rove a good lice joke. And of coulse we rove it rong time. We just don’t rove these ones.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go make the rice and make it nice, and then shoot myself in the face for actually having to sit through that.

Thanks to all who sent this one in, you know who you are, damn you.

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! RapeLay, The Video Game

March 20th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


To the people who developed RapeLay–a dark, first person Japanese video game that simulates the stalking, groping, and raping of two women and a girl in a subway, park, and bedroom–we feel sorry for you. You are sick, sad, twisted, violent, pathetic, low, inhuman, ugly fucks.

And if we ever meet you, we will chop your fucking dicks off.

[via Something Awful: RapeLay play review]
[Slate: Should the US ban Japanese "rape simulator" game?]

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Sudan Criminalizasian

March 4th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
Al-Bashir’s response? “Eat” it.

At long last, an arrest warrant was issued by the International Criminal Court today for Omar al-Bashir, the President of Sudan, on charges of war crimes and crimes against humanity.

No thanks to this guy:


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The Bravery

February 25th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


This week on RuPaul’s Drag Race, my girl Ongina proved once again that she is the funnest and fiercest of all the fabulous bitches in the competition. My tiny queen won the Mac Viva Glam challenge, earning a spot as a spokesperson for the campaign.

But as she heard that she won, she broke down into sobs. And said the bravest thing I’ve ever heard on television, so much so that I’m ashamed to have seen it on something as fluffy as a standard-definition reality show:

“I just wanted to say, and I’ve always been so afraid to say it, that I’ve been living with HIV for the last two years of my life. And this means so much to me. I didn’t want to say it on national TV because my parents didn’t know–oh my God.

You have to celebrate life. You keep going. And I keep going.”

I can honestly tell you that I cried. All night.

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Haiyang Zhu

January 23rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
Xin Yang and Haiyang Zhu

Haiyang Zhu–the Chinese grad student at Virginia Tech allegedly responsible for decapitating new friend Xin Yang with a kitchen knife on Wednesday–apparently showed signs of frustration unrelated to the incident earlier this month.

AP reports:

[A] Chinese-language blog was written earlier this month under the name Haiyang Zhu, and displaying the same photo of Zhu by authorities in Virginia. The author expressed frustration over stock losses and other problems in the blog, dated Jan. 7.

‘Big stock losses. Recently I’ve been so frustrated I think only of killing someone or committing suicide,’ the posting reads.

We are numb with disbelief, seeing that he chose to employ the former rather than the latter–and brokenhearted either way.

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Just Shoot Them

November 27th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Yesterday, the coordinated terrorist attacks directed at Westerners in Mumbai, India injured and claimed the lives of hundreds.

We watched the coverage in horror.

Yet, apparently, we still couldn’t keep our minds–or at least the CNN news ticker–off of Heidi and Spencer’s fake wedding:





Sigh.

We apologize for the CNN ticker, and our thoughts go out to all of those who were and are affected by these attacks.

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An "Other" to the "Others"

November 5th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

CNN conducted exit polls yesterday of 2,240 California voters on Proposition 8, the gay marriage ban, breaking down the yes’s and no’s by age, sex, income, education level, et al. Here are the results by race:


Pretty depressing stuff. But, hey, let’s look on the bright side. There’s a new “Other” in town–other than blacks, Latinos, and Asians. (Scientologists? Martians? Crab People?) Anyhoo–sucks for Them! Let’s go kick sand in their faces and pass laws discriminating against the new Other since we’ve climbed up the ladder! Yeah!!!

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Thanks, BB!

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Let’s All Take a Deep Breath

October 27th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
A Halloween effigy of Sarah Palin, hanged, in West Hollywood

Guys, I loathe Sarah Palin. She is really goddamn stupid, and–like my Hardass Asian Parents–I simply can’t stand stupid people. She’s got a voice about as appealing as the sound of an electric juicer. She let victims pay for their own rape kits. I do believe she’s sought the banning of books. She doesn’t support gay marriage. She loves to kill animals. She invokes both God and violence at rallies. She winks–she winks at the American people during the most important debate of her career.

Yes. YES. Sarah Palin sucks. She sucks. She is a dumb, snarky, manipulative cunt and she sucks. She’s a fucking cancer and she sucks.

I would never vote for her.

I would never (hopefully) have a beer with her.

But I wouldn’t symbolize her hanging, either. This election has been vitriolic enough–let’s not start inviting depictions of any kind of lynching, now that we’re at the eleventh hour. We’re ALL above that.

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Joe Son

October 10th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


TMZ just discovered that Joe Son, the actor who played Dr. Evil’s henchman Random Task in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, has been linked to an unsolved, violent, Christmas Eve gang rape of an Orange County woman in 1990. Son is being charged with five felony counts of rape, two felony counts of forcible sodomy, two felony counts of sodomy in concert by force, seven felony counts of forcible oral copulation, and one felony count of sexual penetration by foreign object by force.

According to TMZ, Son was connected to the crime after pleading guilty for a non-violent felony offense:

Son pleaded guilty back in May to felony vandalism. The plea required him to fork over a DNA sample. Investigators ran his sample and found Son’s DNA connected him to an unsolved gang rape back in 1990, where a woman was pistol-whipped, raped, threatened with death and eventually blindfolded and released naked.

These offenses are revolting. If Son is found guilty, we would like to ask that he kindly step down as a member of the Asian race. After all, he sounds like no son of ours.

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