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DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Chinese Woman Gets One Year Of Hard Labor For RT

November 19th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

What’s the price of a Tweet?

As Twitter attempts to drum up another round of financing at the valuation of $3 billion, that’s what potential investors want to know.

But for 46 year-old Chinese woman, Cheng Jianping, aka @wangyi09, the price of a Tweet is valued at one year in a labor camp.

Last month, Cheng RT’ed a message (see above) originally posted by her fiance, Hua Chunhui, satirically suggesting that young Chinese nationalists who had been staging recent anti-Japanese rallies should attack the Japanese pavilion at the Shanghai World Expo. They were both arrested not long after on the day they were to be married; Hua was released five days later. That Cheng was sentenced to a year of hard labor without a trial while Hua was not may have to do with the fact that Cheng has gotten into trouble for her social media activity in the past. From the NY Times:

Widely known by the online name Wang Yi, Ms. Cheng is avidly followed by a small coterie of Chinese intellectuals who subscribe to Twitter, which is blocked in China but can be reached by those willing to burrow beneath the government’s firewall. Most recently Ms. Cheng sent out messages praising the decision to award the Nobel Peace Prize to the imprisoned rights activist Liu Xiaobo. Last August, she was briefly detained after expressing sympathy for a detained democracy advocate, Liu Xianbin.

While Chinese users of Twitter are subjected to a 140 character-limit like the rest of us, in Chinese, one character equals one word, so the limit roughly translates to 140 words. For this reason, Twitter has become popular in China among political activists.

Counting spaces and punctuation, the Tweet that landed Cheng in a labor camp for a year was 79 characters, which roughly translates to 4.6 days of imprisonment per word.

[NY Times: Chinese Woman Imprisoned for Twitter Message]
[Cheng Jianping on Twitter]

Thanks, Jasmine!

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Meg Whitman Spokeswoman Sarah Pompei Is Teh Awesome

October 22nd, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

In the past, CA gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman has accused her opponent Jerry Brown of being “part of the old school, part of the old approach.” And, as if to prove that point–that Brown is for the olds and Whitman can hang with the youngs–her press secretary Sarah Pompei tweeted this week that “Jerry Brown is too soft on crime,” only instead of linking to the usual boring political stuff, Pompei linked to this video of–y’all ready for this?–Korean cross-dressing jazz fusion/metal bassist-turned-viral video-star H.J. Freaks, who, according to his MySpace, aspires to be “the world’s greatest stupid idiot bass player”:

So, yes, the Whitman campaign basically invented the new Rickroll. Which means Whitman’s press secretary is either incredibly inept and does not understand teh Twitter OR…she knows exactly what she’s doing and did it for the lulz.

We think it’s obvious what really happened, therefore we say…

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Meg Whitman Spokeswoman Sarah Pompei Is Teh Awesome

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Loving Kim Hee Chul’s UFace

October 13th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Chris Manning of Urlesque deconstructed the rapid ascent of Super Junior member Kim Hee Chul from K-pop idol to Twitter superstar (Kim’s name, relatively unknown by most American audiences, became a trending topic for nearly a week, as recently as this morning), which has even inadvertently placed him in a media battle with Twitter’s crowned pretty-boy prince, Justin Bieber.

According to Manning, it all began when Kim tweeted Uface sketches of himself and other K-pop notables, which fans quickly gobbled up like banchan. The blogs took notice and hyped up the chatter. Kim knew he was onto something good, so he stepped up his game: replying, retweeting, taking his act to Facebook. And then people that didn’t even know who or what he was began to notice, many tweeting about the fact that they didn’t even know who or what he was. And so Kim rose to the top. This is the science of social networking, people! You can’t make this shit up.

To think, it all began with a sketch.

We love that Super Junior fans (E.L.F.s) are having their day in the sun, and Kim is likely to enjoy heightened name recognition from here on out! And to think, it all began with a sketch.

A sketch like… Continue reading ROCK OF ASIAN: Loving Kim Hee Chul’s UFace

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Annabel Park Vs. Sarah Palin: The Great Debate?

July 28th, 2010 | 6 comments | Posted by Diana

Unlike most of us, Roger Ebert doesn’t tweet just to read his own poorly-abbreviated words. So last Friday, when he suggested on Twitter that Coffee Party founder Annabel Park and Sarah Palin should chat, emphasizing that he was “very serious,” people indeed took the idea very seriously–Park herself has sparked to the challenge, and the Facebook group Annabel Park v. Sarah Palin Debate already sports 1,300+ members.

We’re not convinced Palin would ever agree to have an honest, fair, even-keeled dialog with Park (or anybody that doesn’t instantly respond to her favorite call words: USA! RULES! TEA! PARTY! OBAMA! IS A MUSLIM KENYAN SOCIALIST! NEWSPAPERS! ALL OF ‘EM! GOTCHA! GOTCHA!). But if this fantasy conversation ever did happen, we imagine it would be quite illuminating. Perhaps something like…

PARK: It’s a pleasure to sit down with you, Mrs. Palin. Thanks for speaking with me.

PALIN: Ohh, you think I’m gonna fall for that one, dontchoo? You sneaky little buggers!

PARK: I’m not sure I know what you mean.

PALIN: I’m not falling into any of your socialist liberal commie traps, MIZ Park!

PARK: Please—just call me Annabel.

PALIN: Okay, Annabel. Can I call ya Ann?

PARK: Well, I guess so, I mean–but that’s not actually my name.

Continue reading Annabel Park Vs. Sarah Palin: The Great Debate?

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DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! @SarahPalinUSA And Her “Refudiations”

July 19th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

After telling President Obama that he should “refudiate” the NAACP for calling the Tea Party racist and advising “peaceful” Muslims via Twitter that they should “refudiate” plans to build a mosque near Ground Zero, Sarah Palin was roundly mocked for her refudiation of the English language, which led to her refudiating her refudiators and likening her penchant for malapropism to…Shakespeare.

As lovers of The Made-Up Word ourselves, we’re not ones to refudiate Sarah Palin. But because we’re a caring people, we’d like to kindly suggest that, from now on, Palin take a page from her beloved Tea Party’s handbook to avoid future embarrassment:

[photo via NY Daily News]
[Sarah Palin on Twitter]

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Did Somebody Say ‘Dog Eating Contest’?!

July 6th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

A few months ago, Twitter changed the algorithm behind its Trending Topics feature to reflect what’s “immediately popular” rather than what’s generally popular or most discussed, in order to bring the Twitterverse “the ‘most breaking’ news.”

Or it was all just an elaborate ruse to fuck with Justin Bieber fans, according to, um, Justin Bieber fans.

Regardless of who you Belieb, the folks at Twitter admit that the algorithm is a “work in progress,” which may explain why “Dog Eating Contest” was trending on the 4th of July:

Either people were tweeting about Nathan’s annual Hot Dog Eating Contest or Asians Continue reading Did Somebody Say ‘Dog Eating Contest’?!

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DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Where Is #TeamAsianGirls?

April 19th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

Poking around Twitter last night, a few Trending Topics caught my eye.

Of course, my first reaction was, “WTF? Where’s #TeamAsianGirls?” And I felt a little sad, you know? Like that anxious, sweaty, picked-last-in-gym-class kinda sad?

But sometimes, not being a team player can be a good thing.

Like a relieved, wiping sweat off my brow, oh-right-the-internet-is-overrun-by-racists-and-pervs-how-could-I-forget kinda good thing.

To see what I mean, click here to see the results for #TeamBlackGirls. Here for #TeamSpanishGirls. Here for #TeamMixedGirls. Here for #TeamWhiteGirls. But be warned: racism, misogyny, and bad spelling abound.

[DISGRASIAN, aka #TeamAsianGirls, on Twitter]

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DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Golf Writer Dan Jenkins

April 12th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

Oh man. Who knew golf was filled with so much drrrrrrrrama? No, I’m not talking about Phil Mickelson winning the Masters and hugging his wife, who’s been battling breast cancer, after. That was sweet and a welcome break from you know who.

So, yes, I guess I am talking about you know who, but only a little, because I am so seriously bored by Tiger Woods at this point, and I’m kinda mad about it, you know? Because who knew that having sex with porn stars and maybe getting a golf club to the face from your wife was so effing dull? I mean, is nothing SACRED???

Anyway. The point is, Tiger returns to golf. And he looks pretty good on the first day (ultimately, he comes in fourth). But then he has to open his mouth after and compare his comeback to Ben Hogan’s in 1949.

“It’s very similar to what Hogan went through coming off the accident,” Woods said. “He couldn’t play that much, and when you can’t play, you have to concentrate on your practice.”

Ben Hogan was in a car accident, see, back in 1949, just like Tiger. Only he threw himself in front of his wife inside their car to save her when a Greyhound bus plowed into them. And he only, like, broke his collarbone, pelvis, ankle and ribs. So, yes, it is VERY SIMILAR, Tiger. That is to say, Fire your handlers immediately, you dumbass.

80 year-old golf writer, Dan Jenkins, who knew Hogan, was quick to point out that Continue reading DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Golf Writer Dan Jenkins

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Legaci aka LGC aka Justin Bieber’s Backup Biebs

April 7th, 2010 | 9 comments | Posted by Diana

Until recently, I knew very little about tween pop phenom Justin Bieber except that he once performed a sold-out free show at the garish outlet mall (you can see it from an airplane!) fifteen minutes from my house, has monopolized Twitter’s trending topics for nearly two months, and apparently has the same weave as Tiger’s quack porn flame, Joslyn James.


But hey, I kinda like the kid. He’s got a sweet little Cinderella story (a young, cute, Canadian YouTube sensation gets discovered by a fancy manager who turns a few mall appearances into international superstardom and a Billboard #1 album). He seems sweet. He’s got a young Joey McIntyre’s pipes. And he kinda reminds me of Hayley Mills.


So I can see why Bay Area R&B outfit Legaci (aka LGC) decided to cover Bieber’s sugary, chart-topping hit, “Baby”–it’s addictive in a modern doo-wop sort of way. Just a month ago, Legaci posted a magical living room performance of the song for YouTube with sultry-voiced Cathy Nguyen and smooth talker Traphik, which has clocked nearly Continue reading ROCK OF ASIAN: Legaci aka LGC aka Justin Bieber’s Backup Biebs

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He Bangs! Ricky Martin Comes Out Of The Closet

March 29th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Let’s face facts: no straight dude looks this hot in a Speedo

After a decade of denial, Ricky Martin has come out of the closet. He wrote today on his website:

“I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man [very odd wording, no?--Ed.]. I am very blessed to be who I am…these years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn’t even know existed.”

I can’t help thinking that if this had happened sooner, the world wouldn’t have had to endure this:

Continue reading He Bangs! Ricky Martin Comes Out Of The Closet

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Lindsay Lohan Potentially Banned From India, Glad To Still Be On List At All Major LA Hotspots

March 19th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

UK’s Telegraph is reporting that Lindsay Lohan could be blacklisted from visiting India due to a visa fudge during her highly (self-)publicized trip to film a BBC documentary. Apparently her tweets weren’t only annoying to us.

From the Telegraph:

“The Mean Girls star had arrived in India to film an expose of child labour and trafficking of women which was later broadcast on BBC3, but she provoked a row when she claimed to have personally rescued 40 children.

In a series of updates on the social networking site Twitter, she boasted of her role in a daring raid on a child labour sweatshop and claimed the experience had changed her life….

…Now she may not be able to visit India again after officials looked at her case and found she had failed to apply for a work visa for her trip.

Continue reading Lindsay Lohan Potentially Banned From India, Glad To Still Be On List At All Major LA Hotspots

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DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Hailey Glassman

March 3rd, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Diana

Hailey Glassman, Jon Gosselin’s jilted ex, tweeted a photo yesterday–obviously phony–of the “stubby” penis she shared with Kate Gosselin and a few other mediocre chicks. (Warning: DO NOT click the picture link if you throw up easily. Or if you’re at work.)





Let me first just say that as an admirer of fine penises, I am deeply offended by this photo.

And then I will add to that statement that CALLING YOUR FORMER RIDE “NASTY” SIMPLY SHOWS THAT YOU ARE WILLING TO SETTLE AND SMOOSH YOUR MOIST ORIFICES ON A SAD, HIDEOUS DICK. Such a statement shames you far more than the owner of said penis–he didn’t have a choice.

Augh, what a wicked game Glassman is playing. It’s a contest in which nobody wins. Especially not me. I feel like I need to take a shower and watch some good porn to wash this sad image away. Or borrow my friend’s copy of Guys Gone Wild. Or my sister’s old Playgirls.

Jeez, did I ever really think that Jon Gosselin was the biggest fame whore of this bunch?

[via ONTD]
[THR: Hailey Glassman Posts Alleged Jon Gosselin Penis Photo on Twitter]

Source

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