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Annabel Park Vs. Sarah Palin: The Great Debate?
Unlike most of us, Roger Ebert doesn’t tweet just to read his own poorly-abbreviated words. So last Friday, when he suggested on Twitter that Coffee Party founder Annabel Park and Sarah Palin should chat, emphasizing that he was “very serious,” people indeed took the idea very seriously–Park herself has sparked to the challenge, and the Facebook group Annabel Park v. Sarah Palin Debate already sports 1,300+ members.
We’re not convinced Palin would ever agree to have an honest, fair, even-keeled dialog with Park (or anybody that doesn’t instantly respond to her favorite call words: USA! RULES! TEA! PARTY! OBAMA! IS A MUSLIM KENYAN SOCIALIST! NEWSPAPERS! ALL OF ‘EM! GOTCHA! GOTCHA!). But if this fantasy conversation ever did happen, we imagine it would be quite illuminating. Perhaps something like…
PARK: It’s a pleasure to sit down with you, Mrs. Palin. Thanks for speaking with me.
PALIN: Ohh, you think I’m gonna fall for that one, dontchoo? You sneaky little buggers!
PARK: I’m not sure I know what you mean.
PALIN: I’m not falling into any of your socialist liberal commie traps, MIZ Park!
PARK: Please—just call me Annabel.
PALIN: Okay, Annabel. Can I call ya Ann?
PARK: Well, I guess so, I mean–but that’s not actually my name.
Continue reading Annabel Park Vs. Sarah Palin: The Great Debate?
Filed under: Annabel Park, Celebrity Twitterers, Coffee Party, Confusing Conversasians, Debate, Facebook, Refudiate, Roger Ebert, Sarah Palin, Twitter
DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! @SarahPalinUSA And Her “Refudiations”
After telling President Obama that he should “refudiate” the NAACP for calling the Tea Party racist and advising “peaceful” Muslims via Twitter that they should “refudiate” plans to build a mosque near Ground Zero, Sarah Palin was roundly mocked for her refudiation of the English language, which led to her refudiating her refudiators and likening her penchant for malapropism to…Shakespeare.
As lovers of The Made-Up Word ourselves, we’re not ones to refudiate Sarah Palin. But because we’re a caring people, we’d like to kindly suggest that, from now on, Palin take a page from her beloved Tea Party’s handbook to avoid future embarrassment:
[photo via NY Daily News]
[Sarah Palin on Twitter]
Filed under: Barack Obama, Embarrassing, I'm With Stupid, Made Up Words, NAACP, Neologism, President Obama, Refudiate, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Malapropism, Stupid People, Tea Partiers, Tea Party, Tea Party Conventions, Teabaggers, Twitter
Did Somebody Say ‘Dog Eating Contest’?!
A few months ago, Twitter changed the algorithm behind its Trending Topics feature to reflect what’s “immediately popular” rather than what’s generally popular or most discussed, in order to bring the Twitterverse “the ‘most breaking’ news.”
Or it was all just an elaborate ruse to fuck with Justin Bieber fans, according to, um, Justin Bieber fans.
Regardless of who you Belieb, the folks at Twitter admit that the algorithm is a “work in progress,” which may explain why “Dog Eating Contest” was trending on the 4th of July:
Either people were tweeting about Nathan’s annual Hot Dog Eating Contest or Asians Continue reading Did Somebody Say ‘Dog Eating Contest’?!
Filed under: Algorithms, Attention Whores, Dog Eaters, Dog Eating, Free Kobi, Joey Chestnut, Justin Bieber, Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, Red Dawn Remake, Sore Losers, Takeru Kobayashi, That Fucking Bieber Kid, Twitter, Twitter Trending Topics, Wieners, Wieners and Losers
DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Where Is #TeamAsianGirls?
Poking around Twitter last night, a few Trending Topics caught my eye.
Of course, my first reaction was, “WTF? Where’s #TeamAsianGirls?” And I felt a little sad, you know? Like that anxious, sweaty, picked-last-in-gym-class kinda sad?
But sometimes, not being a team player can be a good thing.
Like a relieved, wiping sweat off my brow, oh-right-the-internet-is-overrun-by-racists-and-pervs-how-could-I-forget kinda good thing.
To see what I mean, click here to see the results for #TeamBlackGirls. Here for #TeamSpanishGirls. Here for #TeamMixedGirls. Here for #TeamWhiteGirls. But be warned: racism, misogyny, and bad spelling abound.
[DISGRASIAN, aka #TeamAsianGirls, on Twitter]
Filed under: #TeamAsianGirls, Bad Spelling, Eww, Misogyny, Racist Tweets, Sexist Tweets, Stupid People, The Internet Is Overrun by Racists and Pervs, Twitter
DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Golf Writer Dan Jenkins
Oh man. Who knew golf was filled with so much drrrrrrrrama? No, I’m not talking about Phil Mickelson winning the Masters and hugging his wife, who’s been battling breast cancer, after. That was sweet and a welcome break from you know who.
So, yes, I guess I am talking about you know who, but only a little, because I am so seriously bored by Tiger Woods at this point, and I’m kinda mad about it, you know? Because who knew that having sex with porn stars and maybe getting a golf club to the face from your wife was so effing dull? I mean, is nothing SACRED???
Anyway. The point is, Tiger returns to golf. And he looks pretty good on the first day (ultimately, he comes in fourth). But then he has to open his mouth after and compare his comeback to Ben Hogan’s in 1949.
“It’s very similar to what Hogan went through coming off the accident,” Woods said. “He couldn’t play that much, and when you can’t play, you have to concentrate on your practice.”
Ben Hogan was in a car accident, see, back in 1949, just like Tiger. Only he threw himself in front of his wife inside their car to save her when a Greyhound bus plowed into them. And he only, like, broke his collarbone, pelvis, ankle and ribs. So, yes, it is VERY SIMILAR, Tiger. That is to say, Fire your handlers immediately, you dumbass.
80 year-old golf writer, Dan Jenkins, who knew Hogan, was quick to point out that Continue reading DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Golf Writer Dan Jenkins
Filed under: Asian Golfers, Dan Jenkins, Dan Jenkins Y.E. Yang Joke, Old People On Twitter, Old People Using New Technology, P.F. Chang's, Racist Jokes, Some People Need Muzzles, STFU, The Masters Golf Tournament, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Returns, Twitter
ROCK OF ASIAN: Legaci aka LGC aka Justin Bieber’s Backup Biebs
Until recently, I knew very little about tween pop phenom Justin Bieber except that he once performed a sold-out free show at the garish outlet mall (you can see it from an airplane!) fifteen minutes from my house, has monopolized Twitter’s trending topics for nearly two months, and apparently has the same weave as Tiger’s quack porn flame, Joslyn James.
But hey, I kinda like the kid. He’s got a sweet little Cinderella story (a young, cute, Canadian YouTube sensation gets discovered by a fancy manager who turns a few mall appearances into international superstardom and a Billboard #1 album). He seems sweet. He’s got a young Joey McIntyre’s pipes. And he kinda reminds me of Hayley Mills.
So I can see why Bay Area R&B outfit Legaci (aka LGC) decided to cover Bieber’s sugary, chart-topping hit, “Baby”–it’s addictive in a modern doo-wop sort of way. Just a month ago, Legaci posted a magical living room performance of the song for YouTube with sultry-voiced Cathy Nguyen and smooth talker Traphik, which has clocked nearly Continue reading ROCK OF ASIAN: Legaci aka LGC aka Justin Bieber’s Backup Biebs
Filed under: Backup Singers, Canadians, Cindarella Stories, Citadel Outlet Mall, Cropped 'Dos, Cuteness, Discovery, Hair Trends, Hayley Mills, Josyln James, Justin Bieber, Legaci, LGC, Mall Stars, Porn Stars, Tiger Woods Sex Scandal, Trending Topics, Tween Stars, Twitter, YouTube Sensations
He Bangs! Ricky Martin Comes Out Of The Closet
Let’s face facts: no straight dude looks this hot in a Speedo
After a decade of denial, Ricky Martin has come out of the closet. He wrote today on his website:
“I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man [very odd wording, no?--Ed.]. I am very blessed to be who I am…these years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn’t even know existed.”
I can’t help thinking that if this had happened sooner, the world wouldn’t have had to endure this:
Continue reading He Bangs! Ricky Martin Comes Out Of The Closet
Filed under: American Idol, Menudo, Puerto Ricans, Ricky Martin, Ricky Martin Comes Out Of Closet, Ricky Martin Fortunate Homosexual Man, Ricky Martin Gay, She Bangs, Twitter, William Hung
Lindsay Lohan Potentially Banned From India, Glad To Still Be On List At All Major LA Hotspots
UK’s Telegraph is reporting that Lindsay Lohan could be blacklisted from visiting India due to a visa fudge during her highly (self-)publicized trip to film a BBC documentary. Apparently her tweets weren’t only annoying to us.
From the Telegraph:
“The Mean Girls star had arrived in India to film an expose of child labour and trafficking of women which was later broadcast on BBC3, but she provoked a row when she claimed to have personally rescued 40 children.
In a series of updates on the social networking site Twitter, she boasted of her role in a daring raid on a child labour sweatshop and claimed the experience had changed her life….
…Now she may not be able to visit India again after officials looked at her case and found she had failed to apply for a work visa for her trip.“
Filed under: BBC, Celebrity Twitterers, Celebutards, Crawl In A Hole Already Lindsay, Documentaries, Doing Good, Idiots, India, Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, More Harm Than Good, Real-Time Documentation Of Yourself Breaking The Law, Thanks For The Effort, Twitter, Visa Problems, Whoopsieeee
DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Hailey Glassman
Hailey Glassman, Jon Gosselin’s jilted ex, tweeted a photo yesterday–obviously phony–of the “stubby” penis she shared with Kate Gosselin and a few other mediocre chicks. (Warning: DO NOT click the picture link if you throw up easily. Or if you’re at work.)
Let me first just say that as an admirer of fine penises, I am deeply offended by this photo.
And then I will add to that statement that CALLING YOUR FORMER RIDE “NASTY” SIMPLY SHOWS THAT YOU ARE WILLING TO SETTLE AND SMOOSH YOUR MOIST ORIFICES ON A SAD, HIDEOUS DICK. Such a statement shames you far more than the owner of said penis–he didn’t have a choice.
Augh, what a wicked game Glassman is playing. It’s a contest in which nobody wins. Especially not me. I feel like I need to take a shower and watch some good porn to wash this sad image away. Or borrow my friend’s copy of Guys Gone Wild. Or my sister’s old Playgirls.
Jeez, did I ever really think that Jon Gosselin was the biggest fame whore of this bunch?
[via ONTD]
[THR: Hailey Glassman Posts Alleged Jon Gosselin Penis Photo on Twitter]
Filed under: 15 Minutes of Fame, Airing Dirty Laundry, DISGWITTER, Famewhore Twitterers, Hailey Glassman, Hideous Dicks, Horrific Images, Jon Gosselin, Jon Gosselin's "Stubby" Penis, Kate Gosselin, Magic Weiner, Mediocre Chicks, Shameful Behavior, Shameful Sex Acts, Small Penis Jokes, Small Penises, Trash Talking, Tweets, Twitter
Back, Back, Forth And Forth On Tila
Reading through New York Magazine’s follow-up feature with Tila Tequila discussing her late fiancee Casey Johnson, Internet backlash, and pursuits for the future, I started to think that Tequila might be a little more sound in the mind than we often give her credit for.
All chicks are crazy, but...
Continue reading Back, Back, Forth And Forth On Tila
Filed under: Ambassador To Vietnam, Batshit Women, Casey Johnson, Fame is Useless, Mourning, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Crazy, Tila Tequila Twitter, Twitter, Vascillasian
Love Means Never Having To Tweet “R.I.P.!”
Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson was reported dead at age 30 yesterday, a news story that gained traction because the socialite had recently captured headlines, as the affianced to Tila Tequila and one-third of a love triangle with Courtenay Semel.
Casey Johnson and Tila Tequila
As soon as the news broke, readers realized quickly that Johnson’s death–which must have come as a painful shock to her family (father is NY Jets owner Woody Johnson) and lifelong friends–was overshadowed in the headlines by her fledgling ties to Tequila.
Continue reading Love Means Never Having To Tweet “R.I.P.!”
Filed under: Casey Johnson, Casey Johnson Dies, Casey Johnson Heiress, Celebrity Twitter, Celebrity Twitterers, Death, Death as a Career Opportunity, Fucked Up Shit, Publicity Stunts, Sad, Thinking Publicly, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Twitter, Twitter, Woody Johnson
DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Lindsay Lohan
How can one celebutard–who knows full well how closely her words are parsed–commit two Twit faux pas in one week?
She actually DID go India. Just not when the raids happened.
What we’re referring to is handing off her blackberry to a friend who apparently shouted out himself in no uncertain terms: Continue reading DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Lindsay Lohan
Filed under: Annoying Things Celebrities Do, BBC, Blackberry, Celebrity Twitter, Celebutards, Friends Suck, Human Trafficking, India, N word, Stupid Things Celebrities Say, Trivializasian, Tweets, Twitter
