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One Thing Alone Will Drag Our Asses To See The Next Sex And The City Movie

September 17th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

After enduring the self-aware, unsatisfying, sexless, love-laden mess that was the first Sex and the City movie, you’d think we’d know better than to pull up a Cosmo and buy a ticket for round two.

But goddamn it, if they didn’t find the cutest damn little twin girlsParker and Alexandra Fong–to play Charlotte’s little ‘un, Lily:

Those cutest-ever ballet flats? Seriously?


Ugh. We’re definitely going to have to go see the movie now. But if we have to endure Miley Cyrus’s ugly mug, or hear “love” more than 6 times in one theater sitting without any cunnilingus to break it up, those fuckin’ kids are gonna owe us each 14 bucks.


Thanks, jRu!

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Panda Reincarnasian

October 22nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
Jen (left) and Diana (right), reincarnated as Panda twins*

JEN: Well, hello there.

DIANA: Hello there!

JEN: I’m fuzzy!

DIANA: I can touch my head!

JEN: Oh my gaw, you are so goddamn cute.

DIANA: I know! And y’know what? YOU are ALSO so goddamn cute.

JEN: It’s true.

DIANA: Your nose is so pink. You really do look huggable.

JEN: I’m gonna look huggable forever, baby!

DIANA: Baby… panda, that is!

[They giggle cute panda giggles]

JEN: Boy, am I hungry.

DIANA: Me too!

JEN: Ya wanna know the one downside to being a panda? We’re vegetarians. No pork dumplings. Only bamboo!

DIANA: Oh, shoot! Get it, bamboo shoot?

JEN: Yes! Oh well!!! Who needs dumplings?

[They giggle cute panda giggles]

DIANA: Alright, let’s go make somebody smile.

JEN: (Pauses) Something’s changed about us.

DIANA: You think?

JEN: I think.

* actually, these twin Panda babies were just born a week and a half ago in central Japan. We’re resigned to the fact that we can’t be them, so we’ll simply just enjoy loving them. (Sigh)

Thanks, Eliza!

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In Vitro Fertilizasian

July 9th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Omkari Panwar, 70 (or 72, depending on the report), became the oldest woman to give birth last week when she delivered twins (a boy and a girl) by C-section in India. Panwar, who already had two children and five grandchildren, spent her life savings on in vitro fertility treatments and eight months of her pregnancy on bed rest so that she and her 75 year-old husband, Charam Singh, could have a son. Singh told the media after the twins’ birth:

“The desire for a male child has always been there, but God did not bless us with a male child,” he said of the son who is a product of in vitro fertilization. “Now, we are very grateful to God, who has answered our prayers.”

Panwar, who had a difficult pregnancy and was bleeding when she arrived at the hospital for her delivery, also released a statement:

“We are over-the-moon about the birth of our son. And, uh, oh yes! What’sherface, our daughter. And to those critics who think this was a totally effed idea, I would like to say, I consider myself a lucky woman.

I got pregnant, after all, without having to go near my husband’s old, shriveled weiner, which looks like a banana that became so brown and spotty that even the beggars and lepers refused to eat it and then was buried in the ground for ten thousand years and shat on repeatedly by baby elephants only to be unearthed by archaeologists looking for Roman coins and beads, much to their disappointment.

And that, my friends, is a blessing.”


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September 5th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

If you were trapped on a deserted island, and you didn’t include Depeche Mode’s Violator in the top ten records you absolutely needed to have with you (never mind that you probably wouldn’t have electricity or a CD player to spin them on, and in the age of iPods who really needs to make these kind of decisions?)… I don’t trust you. Actually, I probably don’t even like you.

Fortunately, my BFF&E Jen is both trustworthy and a huge DM fan. She even recently drew this incredible graffiti picture of herself circa Violator, and its likeness is uncanny:

Jen circa ‘Violator’: Nouveau AND academic… what’s not to like?

I also love Ming and Ping, a Chinese band of twins that probably followed the entire Wold Violation tour, and took notes.

Ming and Ping: New Wasian

Need more proof? Viddy their music video, for the track “City Lies.”

Oddly, I feel warm and fuzzy, and not violated at all.

Check out their official website here.

Thanks, jRu!

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What’s Creepier than Twins and Robots?

April 25th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

How about a TWIN ROBOT?


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Twins Are Creepy

April 23rd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The first ever “Twins Festival” was held in Guangzhou, China over the weekend. Why? God only knows. Guangdong Province, which includes the city of Guangzhou, is home to 20,000 twins.

“You creep me out.”

“You creep me out.”

“Every time I look at you, I want to scream!”

“Every time I look at you, I want to scream!”

“That’s what I said.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Stop it.”

“Stop it.”

“Mom!” “Mom!”


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