DISGRASIAN™

But What Does ‘Japanime Britney’ DO?

Britney Spears at Thursday's Sacramento debut of her North American "Femme Fatale" tour

BRITNEY: Y’all, I can’t believe that opening night of this tour has gone on without an itch! I’m so excited, ladies, I wanna poop my pants!

DANCER (LEFT): Brit, I think what you mean is “off without a hitch.”

DANCER (RIGHT): Yeah, it’s definitely “hitch.”

BRITNEY: Wait, y’all sure? My mama always said without an “itch,” and that makes sense to me ’cause I would never want to get all itchy durin’ a show! Y’know?

DANCER (LEFT): Oh yeah! That makes sense. Maybe we’re wrong.

DANCER (RIGHT): Yeah, maybe we’re wrong. We’ll Wikipedia it later.

BRITNEY: Focus, ladies! We’re rocking “Japanime Britney” right now!!! Can y’all believe that Goco pulled this costume off in a HALF HOUR?

DANCER (RIGHT): Yeeeeeeeeup.

DANCER (LEFT): [cautiously] Girrrl!

BRITNEY: No, like the WHOLE THING.

DANCER (RIGHT): Hunh. I would’ve figured something more along the lines of fifteen minutes.

BRITNEY: Mmm. Well he works REALLY fast.

Continue reading But What Does ‘Japanime Britney’ DO?

Filed under: Britney Spears, Britney Spears Comeback, Britney Spears Femme Fatale Tour, Britney Spears Scary, Gwen Stefani, Harajuku Girls, Japan, L.A.M.E., Racial Drag, Racial Drag That's Boring, Tsunami, Unflattering Footwear, World's Ugliest Kimono Minis, Zaldy Goco

DISGRASIAN’s Extracurricular Activities

What to do when you’re not studying, calculating your taxes on an abacus, or practicing piano:



The Patient Protection and and Affordable Care Act turns one on March 23. Join the Asian & Pacific Islander American Health Forum in showing your appreciation for health care reform, and sign the birthday card they’re sending to Congress. [APIAHF]

Calling all Asians who can “sang” – Simon Cowell’s singing competition that is not “American Idol” is finally coming to the US. Auditions for “The X Factor” begin Saturday, March 26. [FOX]

The Han Benefit Concert takes place in NYC on Friday, March 25. The show is a fundraiser to fight hunger in North Korea, where 1 in 3 children under the age of 5 show signs of malnutrition. Tickets are $18 in advance, $25 at the door. [Han Benefit Concert: Rock to Fight Hunger in North Korea]

Gamers are auctioning off rare video game parapharnalia for the Play For Japan campaign, which is raising money to provide relief for victims of the tsunami in Japan. [Play For Japan]

Source
Thanks to Andrew, Jack and Minki!

Filed under: APIAHF, Asian & Pacific Islander American Health Forum, DISGRASIAN's Extracurricular Activities, Han Benefit, Han Benefit Concert, Health Care Reform, Play For Japan, Simon Cowell, The X Factor, Tsunami

‘Asians In The Library’ And ‘God Is So Good,’ DISGRASIAN-style

As some of you know, our site was down yesterday.

And unlike most Monday mornings, where the most disturbing thing greeting us first thing is our weekend hangovers, there was so much bad shit going on in the world.

In other words, so much bad shit to blog about.

There was the ongoing tragedy taking place in post-earthquake, post-tsunami Japan.

There was the ongoing tragedy taking place on Twitter, enacted by randos and well-known players alike–50 Cent, Gilbert Gottfried, the WNBA’s Cappie Poindexter, Family Guy writer Alec Sulkin–that made fun of the ongoing tragedy in Japan.

And, of course, there were also those two viral videos. The one about Asians in the library from UCLA student Alexandra Wallace, and the one about God punishing Japan with the earthquake because it’s a country of atheists (which has since been revealed as a hoax and the work of a troll).

Like we said: SO MUCH BAD SHIT.

So how, in a moment like this, could the Internet betray us and leave us without a forum to air out our grievances? Normally, we’d blame evil gnomes–which a friend suggested look exactly like Arcade Fire–but this was different. This was bigger.

Continue reading ‘Asians In The Library’ And ‘God Is So Good,’ DISGRASIAN-style

Filed under: Alexandra Wallace, Asians In The Library, Assholes, Cheesedicks, Ching Ching Ling Long Ting Tong, Chinglish, Dickburgers, Dickfaces, Dumbasses, Earthquake, Gnomes, God Is So Good, Hangovers, Idiots, Internet Memes, Japan, Racists, Trolls, Tsunami, Twitter, UCLA, YouTube

A Prayer To Mother Nature For Our Kinfolk In Asia

Dear Mother Nature,

First you flood the Philippines, where the homes of over 2 million people have been affected and 246 people have been reported dead so far. Then you unleash an undersea earthquake that turns into a tsunami on the Samoa Islands, killing dozens. After that, you take the same storm that menaced the Philippines, and move it over Laos and then Vietnam, where 170,000 homes have been damaged and 41 have been reported dead at last count. Still hell-bent on destruction, you then toss in another earthquake Wednesday–with a magnitude of 7.6–in Indonesia, near Padang, the capital city of West Sumatra, that claims 75 lives.

From the Philippines (Reuters)

From Padang, Indonesia (Reuters)

Lady, WTF? What did Asia ever do to you? Sleep with your fella, Father Time?!

Amidst all of this apocalyptic disaster, we did notice one tiny shred of good news:

No harm has come to the 20th season of Survivor? PHEW. Let no one say Mother Nature is without mercy!

On that note, do you think you could find room in your heart for a little more of that and, like, TAKE A FUCKING CHILL PILL?

How do you end a prayer to Mother Nature? Amen? Gaia be with me? LYLAS? Anyway…

yours sincerely,

DISGRASIAN

Filed under: Disasters, Indonesia, Ketsana, Laos, Mother Nature Is a Bitch, Natural Disasters Asia, Ondoy, Padang, Samoa Islands, the Philippines, Tsunami, Vietnam