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As some of you know, our site was down yesterday.
And unlike most Monday mornings, where the most disturbing thing greeting us first thing is our weekend hangovers, there was so much bad shit going on in the world.
In other words, so much bad shit to blog about.
There was the ongoing tragedy taking place on Twitter, enacted by randos and well-known players alike–50 Cent, Gilbert Gottfried, the WNBA’s Cappie Poindexter, Family Guy writer Alec Sulkin–that made fun of the ongoing tragedy in Japan.
And, of course, there were also those two viral videos. The one about Asians in the library from UCLA student Alexandra Wallace, and the one about God punishing Japan with the earthquake because it’s a country of atheists (which has since been revealed as a hoax and the work of a troll).
Like we said: SO MUCH BAD SHIT.
So how, in a moment like this, could the Internet betray us and leave us without a forum to air out our grievances? Normally, we’d blame evil gnomes–which a friend suggested look exactly like Arcade Fire–but this was different. This was bigger.
Filed under: Alexandra Wallace, Asians In The Library, Assholes, Cheesedicks, Ching Ching Ling Long Ting Tong, Chinglish, Dickburgers, Dickfaces, Dumbasses, Earthquake, Gnomes, God Is So Good, Hangovers, Idiots, Internet Memes, Japan, Racists, Trolls, Tsunami, Twitter, UCLA, YouTube
Dear Mr. Kenneth Tong:
Earlier this week, I started reading stories about you and this idea of “managed anorexia,” a Twitter campaign you launched then claimed was a hoax, but only, it seems, after a journalist mentioned the possibility of legal action against you because of it.
I sent a few links about this story to Jen and Diana, the editors of this blog. As their intern, it’s part of my job to look for stories they may want to write about on the site.
I figured you were a shoo-in for “DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK,” a weekly dishonor given to someone or something that has done something so foul and terrible that we may all be worse off because of it. Something so bad it’s almost worth not writing about but for the fact that we have to warn others about the bullshit you’ve perpetrated.
Also, I figured that having DOTW on your resume would be a natural fit for someone whose only previous claim to fame was as a contestant on “Big Brother UK”.
They asked if I could write a response to you and to your story. They asked me to do this because I first alerted them to it, and because I seemed pretty well invested in taking you down.
I also wonder if they asked me to do this because I’m fat.
So, Mr. Kenneth Tong, I want to thank you.
Thank you for causing even a fraction of a millisecond of a doubt in my mind about the reason behind Jen and Diana asking me to write this story.
Thank you for taking it upon yourself to use Twitter to bully and harass the women who were unfortunate enough to read your posts.
Thank you for showing the world the truth of the hate that you have for fat people, for women, for people with eating disorders, for the people who love them, and for pretty much every decent person on earth.
Thank you for using anorexia, an eating disorder, and exploiting it for the sake of an experiment “to go from nowhere to be a globally recognized figure within a week harnessing the power of the internet and specifically Twitter.” I’m sure that people suffering from anorexia and other eating disorders were happy they could lend a hand in the effort to promote you.
Thank you for using the interviews you’ve given to the press since you began this awful game (because it’s just a game to you, isn’t it?) to promote yourself instead of clearing up any assertions you made about anorexia, or to offer real apologizes to anyone you may have offended or harmed.
Thank you for re-tweeting every single negative message you received on Twitter in response to “managed anorexia”, because it shows you really only care about yourself.
Thank you for showing me that when I thought I’d heard every insult and every bad word you could hurl at a fat person, you came up with even more.
Thank you for making me think about you, and how much I hate what you have to say, when really I would have been much better off focusing on more important things like who I think is going to win big at The Golden Globes on Sunday, or cleaning my bathroom.
Thank you for making me fearful of posting a picture of myself on-line, of writing this post, of showing people who I am, because now all I can think of is being judged or, even worse, being ignored, because I am fat.
Jasmine (aka, Fatso, Fatty Fat Fat, Fat Bitch, and so on and so forth)
Filed under: Anorexia, Assholes, Backpedaling, Big Brother Contestants, Bulimia, Dicks, Eating Disorders, Fame Trolls, Fame Whores, Fat, Hoaxes, Hong Kong Chinese, Kenneth Tong, Reality TV, Reality TV Contestants, Sizists, Some People Need Muzzles, Trolls, Twitter, Twitter Wars, What The Fuck Is Managed Anorexia?
Occupation: Blogger for The Lipstick Diaries
Why She’s A Babe: Bloggers often get a bad rap for being icky-faced trolls hiding behind laptops, or “kids in pajamas sitting in the basement of their parents’ homes.” We, ahem, like to think that bloggers can be both rapid-fire, web-saavy, and dripping with sex appeal–proof positive is the tatted, sultry, animal-loving Kymby, who blogs with five other fine ladies about nightlife, streetwear, and hot art for The Lipstick Diaries.
We also figure that if she does happen to blog in her pajamas, they’re very cute pajamas.
Hails from: India
Why She’s a Babe: Well, for one thing, Riya seems to be Salman Rushdie’s latest conquest. We know–ewwww–but, like it or not, that bald, ancient, fatwa-incurring troll is a bona fide babe magnet. And, for another, the Bollywood actress is aggressively cheesy, mining all the tired sexpot cliches in her photos, and yet there’s no denying that even when she’s rocking a fug unitard and an almost-imperceptible camel toe or giving her awesomely corny fuck me-face, we still want to claw her wide-set eyes out because she’s so durn purty.
After losing badly in Iowa, Hillary Clinton not only found her voice in New Hampshire, she also found a new posse. Witness her giving her Iowa concession speech here, surrounded by trolls and gargoyles:
…a real, live, cutie-pie Asian! In New Hampshire!
Hillary’s new message to rival Barack? “Suck my diversity pipe, Obama! See you down in SC where my homeys be
whom I will scare up in the next ten days. Peace out.”
DIANA: We don’t really talk much about the Olsen twins.
JEN: Wait, wait… it’s just “the Olsens” now. Silent “twins.”
DIANA: Right. We don’t talk about those dudes.
JEN: What’s there to say? They’re midgets, they’re probably still anorexic, they hate smiling with teeth, they have poor posture, they love coffee-to-go and fashion shows, it’s a wonder that they don’t ever topple over in those Balenciaga platforms.
DIANA: So they don’t bother you at all?
JEN: Hold on a minute. You know midgets scare me.
DIANA: That’s true.
JEN: But I do love me some Balenciaga.
DIANA: True! But they don’t really do anything. Besides go to lunch and grease up their hair and drink Venti drips from Starbucks, that is.
JEN: That Venti cup is so gauche. Who needs that much of a beverage? Ugh. That shit disgusts me.
DIANA: So we hate them?
JEN: I mean, I kinda nothing them. They do nothing. They nothing me.
DIANA: You did look kinda cute when you dressed up as Mary-Kate for Halloween.
JEN: I’m cute, though. It wasn’t the costume.
DIANA: Right. Y’know, MK has really improved with the slight weight gain. She’s look less like a homely skeleton freak show and more like a garden gnome these days.
JEN: You always did like Ashley better.
DIANA: She seemed more, y’know, together. More so than Mary-Kate at least [Makes cuckoo motion with finger around right ear]. But I’m coming around. I might even be starting to feel half-positive feelings for Mary-Kate.
[Diana shrugs shoulders]
JEN: [clicks on new paparazzi photo of MK leaving a West Village restaurant] Oh. Girl. Backtrack a bit. The gnome is rocking a little dragon lady racial drag underneath her fur.
DIANA: [Gasps] Fur and Racial Drag! A Double whammy! She should be shot.
JEN: Like that animal she’s wearing was.
DIANA: Don’t make me puke.
JEN: So MK makes our hitlist today. Thanks to the paparazzi photo.
DIANA: Tell me again why people take this girl’s picture?