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Somebody tell me this Reuters story’s not true–“Japanese athletes begin chopstick-less ‘food camp’”:
TOKYO (Reuters) – Japanese athletes have begun a spartan, chopstick-free Chinese food training program to help them acclimatize for this year’s Beijing Olympics.
First of all, a message to Japanese Olympians: SACKTHEFUCKUP. You have to train for speed, strength, and endurance. You have to train to win a gold medal (or a silver or bronze, if you’re cool with slightly disappointing your country). You don’t have to “train” to eat Chinese food, candy asses.
Second, a message to Beijing Olympic organizers: WHATTHEFUCK. You’re in China, you’re serving Chinese food, ergo, you need to provide some muthafuckin chopsticks.