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When Worlds Collide: Tom Cruise And Tokyo

September 29th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Tom Cruise at the Tokyo Premiere of 'Knight and Day'

TOM CRUISE: Watch my movie!

DUDE ON THE LEFT WITH THE LUSCIOUS LOCKS: Hey Tom, what’s up bro? Can you sign something for my lady?

TOM CRUISE: You look good to me.

DUDE ON THE LEFT WITH THE LUSCIOUS LOCKS: You could sign whatever, man. Maybe her shirt? We didn’t bring anything.

TOM CRUISE: Hmm… I wonder what Suri’s wearing today? Hopefully that cute, cute, cute little Burberry dress I presented to her in a box tied with a ribbon before I left. I just love her so much. She’s totally my favorite of all my kids.

GUY ON THE FAR LEFT WITH HIS EYES CLOSED: Is Tom Cruise here? I can’t see anything!

TOM CRUISE: That Cameron Diaz, what a tall drink of water. Where is she standing?

GUY ON THE FAR LEFT WITH HIS EYES CLOSED: I can’t see her either!

TOM CRUISE: Did any of you happen to see The Last Samurai?

MAN ON RIGHT: I did. Not the most accur–

TOM CRUISE: I am so in love with my wife, Kate! If I wasn’t here at this premiere, I would be ordering a dozen cupcakes to send to her while she’s shopping at Barney’s.

CHILD BEING HELD BY MAN ON RIGHT: I hate it here, Daddy! Can we GO?

Continue reading When Worlds Collide: Tom Cruise And Tokyo

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An Internal Conver$ation

June 2nd, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

Ke$hia at the MTV VMAJ Awards in Tokyo, May 29

KE$HA: Domo arigato, Mr. Tokyo! I love you all!!!

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: Horrible. Just horrible. Please, let’s just go inside.

KE$HA: They love me! They love the $tatement I’m making!

KE$HA’s HEADDRESS: And what statement is that?

KE$HA: That Lady GaGa isn’t the only knockoff that can make it big this year.

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: That’s it?

KE$HA: And my generation really does have new and innovative art to offer!

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: Like what?

KE$HA: Durrr. Like 80′s jeans and hippie dresses and disco indie rock.

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: AH.

Continue reading An Internal Conver$ation

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Call Her "Geisha-ca" Simpson

August 21st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Jessica Simpson went to Tokyo this month to film scenes for her MTV reality show on beauty and body-image, where she roamed the streets in racial drag as a geisha:



Incidentally, during her stay, a 6.6 earthquake hit near Tokyo, and Jessica tweeted about it. (If you Google “6.6 earthquake,” the first entry you get is “Jessica Simpson tweets about 6.6 earthquake while in Japan.”)

So, let’s see…Jessica Simpson visits Tokyo as a geisha, then a 6.6 earthquake hits. Hmm

Cause-Effect?

[via BuzzFeed]

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Giant Robots Rule

June 23rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

HOLY CRAP!!!!!


Gizmodo recently posted pictures of the 59-foot tall, fully armed and operative (well, at least lit up and moving) Gundam robot that was erected in Tokyo, and it’s just totally dfi;!!%&@fjdsiof dsajfdwowwowwowwow fucking amazing!

Now, if they could only build a giant Ann Curry, fully armed and operative, as well. That would be friggin’ insaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane!!!

“What the world needs is a BIG me.”

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Cosmicdust

February 20th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Cosmicdust is just one very sweet fellow in Tokyo that likes dreamy, ethereal tracks and cute things. What an equasian! We adore him.

Listen and look here.

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First Ever Michelasian Guide

November 30th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

This month, Michelin released its first ever restaurant guide of Tokyo (and its first in Asia). Unlike other Michelin guides, every restaurant and hotel reviewed in Michelin Tokyo was awarded stars (on a scale of 1 to 3). Now Tokyo has 191 stars, the most in the world.

Out of the 150 restaurants given stars, almost one-third of them are French (44, to be exact). If you’ve ever visited Tokyo, you know how easy it is to get a crusty baguette or a killer croissant, the likes of which you could only find elsewhere in France. Looks like the Japanese are out-Frenching the French.

Which means…we’re taking over everything. Yaysian!

If you think Michelin is synonymous with tires, read this.

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Thanks Jim!

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Keepon Keepin’ On

August 15th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

What do you get when you put my favorite band (and fellow Texans) Spoon together with Keepon, an adorable yellow robot that looks like a yellow Peep, in Tokyo?

Heaven!

See Spoon and Keepon’s first video “I Turn My Camera On,” at Pitchfork.

Spoon is coming to a city near you. Go see them in concert.

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Rock of Lame-sian

May 16th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The Killers “Read My Mind” video is here for your perusal. It was shot in Tokyo and for a brief moment, the band is dressed as Japanese women. Sound exciting? Good, cuz I’m…ZZZzzzZZZZzzZZZZZzzzz.

“Can you read my mind”?

More like, “what a waste of time”–a lyric from Clap Your Hands Say Yeah’s “In This Home On Ice” off their eponymous album that is worth listening to.

Click here to exorcise your ears from medirockrity.

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The Fuzz Fingers Tokyo Pantyman

March 14th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Obviously, I (like everyone else) thought this article was funny when I first read it:


But it’s not funny.

What I think most of us are assuming is that Spidey has a panty-sniffing fetish, or Lycra fascination, or something like that. Have we even entertained the idea that he might be a closet cross-dresser?

Can you imagine the shame he must feel right now?

I’d like to turn this post into an open statement to Takashi Panti right now. Baby, it is O-KAY to be who you are, to wear what you want, to feel the glory of a silk brassiere on your cool bosom. There is absolutely no shame in doing so. Plenty of Asian Trannies walk loud and proud!

Observe…

M Butterfly:


Raci:


Kimora:


Always, always remember this. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

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Jack-yo in Tokyo

March 6th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


In other recruiting news…

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