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Olivia Munn Gets Letterman’s Approval, At Least

January 13th, 2011 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

“Is Olivia Munn funny?” is about as hot of a debate as gun control. People can decide for themselves when her sitcom, Perfect Couples, airs a week from today, but in the meantime, doubters should watch the video below, in which Munn stops by Letterman and makes him laugh. And no, it had nothing to do with her breasts and that genius tit-sling of a dress she’s wearing, or the fact that Letterman is a notorious perv.

Well, okay, maybe it did. But still…what breasts! What genius framing! What effort it must’ve taken for Letterman to keep his eyes up here the whole time!

[via Gawker.TV]

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Elizabeth Hurley “Forgets” Sari Blouse, My Ass

February 26th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

HuffPo reports that Elizabeth Hurley attended a black-tie event this week in London dressed in a sari but “forgot” to wear a blouse underneath.

Hurley and hubby Arun Nayar

Can you imagine this kind of senility setting in at age 44? Poor thing!

But forgetting Elizabeth’s age-defying boobage for a second, let’s do a scroll down to her feet:

Continue reading Elizabeth Hurley “Forgets” Sari Blouse, My Ass

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BABEWATCH: Obama Girl In Red Coat

December 1st, 2009 | 6 comments | Posted by Diana

Apparently, the only thing that can distract a listener from the greatest orator of our time… is a lady in red.

During President Obama’s town hall discussion with Chinese Youth on November 16, a student named Wang Zifei simply sat down and took a cute red coat off…while, uh, smiling with her eyes.

This might feel like a bit of a dirty peepshow, but check out the sensuous-smooth style of her unwrapping (photos nabbed from the Daily Mail’s screen grab collection):

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Continue reading BABEWATCH: Obama Girl In Red Coat

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Padma’s Pregnancy Puppies

October 19th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


“Hello, World. Meet my pregnancy puppies. Pregnancy puppies, meet world. Consider these girls my gift to you. Drink them in. Eat them up. Move in a little closer. Uh, okay, that’s close enough, now you’re starting to perv me out and remind me of my creepy ex. Ahem, where was I? Oh right, I was introducing you to my glorious breasts. Can you imagine what these babies will look like when they’re brimming with milk? I mean, hello. Now there’s a Quickfire Challenge for you–what can you do in an hour with Padma’s breast milk? Ha! Like that’ll ever happen. You can look but you can’t touch. Actually, touch these boobs and I cut you. They’re as tender as a Kobe-strip right now and my hormones are all over the place. Jesus, what I wouldn’t give for a cold compress for these sore nipples. That and a vodka cocktail.”

[photo via HuffPo]

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U Got Perved

August 20th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Okay, okay. As you know, I normally wouldn’t encourage dudes to pretend-jerk off under their bed sheets on camera. Or make lewd tongue gestures as if they’re lasciviously lapping up a beef curtain hoagie. Or fondle themselves while declaring “Tittays!”

This is a perfect example of how sometimes life is not made up of absolutes.

For some reason, because YouTuber Jr. DaPhamily is just a teeny young pup, with cheeks like the great plains, he can do whatever the sam hell he pleases on camera and it’s a-okay by me.

I mean, check out this kid, who got as worked up as I did to see Vanessa Hudgens in the buff…again.

Perhaps it’s because we’re all a just a human bag of hormones at that tender age, shuffling off into corners to masturbate while imagining, hopefully, what real kissing is like. And after all, let’s assume he doesn’t necessarily know what he’s doing with his tongue (lewd gestures and “Tittays” both included) from experience–rather from a big brother or a couple of snakey pals. Big whoop.

All I know is that for some reason, this little perv rocks my socks off (*If you’re reading this, kid: I said “my socks,” not “my panties”), and I simply cannot stop laughing throughout each one of his short, emphatic videos.

Important caveat to this, however. Seriously, in a year or so–or the minute those cheeks flatten out by even a millimeter–when DaPhamily is old enough to know better and interfacing with real human girls–this form of behavior will actually be REALLY UNACCEPTABLE. (Ya hear that, kid? Better learn to respeck!)

Sigh. Pretty confusing, I know.

[YouTube: DaPhamily's channel]

Thanks, Jen!

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Miss Universe Japan… Maybe

July 31st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


That’s Emiri Miyasaka (Miss Universe Japan) above, in a brand-spankin’-new national costume, which she will apparently be wearing to the big galactic competition on August 23 of this year.

Perhaps on first glance (if you didn’t, like, immediately splooge all over yourself) you reacted as I did: “Ugh. God. Awful.”

Or like the handful of angry readers that posted comments documented by Itai News (highlighted by Japan Probe, from whom we’re borrowing translation)–which accused her of mocking her home culture, then labeled her as “a national disgrace,” “perverted,” and a “stupid person” wearing a “stupidly designed costume.”

Leave it to my trusty partner-in-crime, Jen, to approach the outfit slightly more thoughtfully: “Yeah, it’s really pervy, but we are talking a beauty pageant“–an event where coating one’s teeth with Vaseline, shoving one’s tits up their chin with tape, and spouting ignorant drivel from the stage are all kosher, if not recommended. Jen also ventured that the outfit might even be evidence of progress: maybe the Miss Universe Japan people are boldly stepping ahead of the curve, finally recognizing that the world kinda views the Japanese as pretty… pervy, and they’re beating everyone to the punch. How forward-thinking of them!

After all, what’s the real disgrace here? That she’s wearing lingerie?

Hell, we’ve seen Rachael Ray in skivvies before, for crying out loud. Total NBD. Conservative Middle America still loves the woman. I could take her or leave her, but that’s hardly the point.

That turkey might think Ray is a disgrace, but he’s probably the only one.

And if we’re talking about being scantily clad, let’s not forget that Miyasaka will be obliged to trot around in an itty-bitty two piece for the competition, as will all of her competitors. I mean, check out the evening’s performers, for crying out loud:

Nothin’ but class in this act

By comparison, Miss Universe Japan looks covered up and downright bookish!

At the end of the day, regardless of its cosmic reach, we are in fact talking about a BEAUTY PAGEANT, not a post-doctoral graduation ceremony. Others may disagree, but in my eyes, this pageant is about as legit and respectable and culturally relevant as Star Magazine (perhaps less so). It’s a boiling cauldron of disgrace. It’s a disgrace diet shake.

Final thoughts: One thing I really, really, really, truly-ooly respect is Miyasaka’s hot legs. They’re awesome. Gotta give respeck where it’s due, y’know?

[Japan Probe: Is Miss Universe Japan's National Costume a National Disgrace?]

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BABEWATCH: Grace Kim

October 28th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


Name: Grace Kim

Age: 29

Hails from: Los Angeles

Occupation: November 2008 Playmate of the Month

Why She’s a Babe: Yeah, yeah, Grace Kim has a nice rack. And no, we don’t know if those puppies are real, but we seriously doubt that you care (you’re going to have to get the November issue of Playboy to judge for yourself). But what we really like about Grace is that she’s a dork. She worked for Red Octane, the game publisher of our raison d’être, Guitar Hero, before she became a pin-up, and she is not only a GH competitor, but she likes to throw down about her skillz.*

“I play a mean game of Guitar Hero, and I’m willing to challenge anybody,” she says in the November Playboy. “I must warn you, I’m a sore loser!”

Dude. So are we, because, as we all know, Asians hate to lose. So that’s why we’re challenging you, Grace Kim of the gorgeous breasteses, to a Guitar Hero duel. Know that we play to the death (or, like, until one of us passes out from drinking too much brown liquor, same diff). Are you in? (Please please say you’re in. Our A-cups and carb-guts will never be able to compete with your C-cups and your 21-inch (!) waist, and this is the only way we think we’ll ever have a chance of getting a fat leg up on you, okay?!)

*We did not actually read this in Playboy, even though, like you, we read the rag for the articles. It was reprinted online in COED Magazine, which, in August, also put Grace on a list of–ready for this?–“Amasians.” Style-biters!!! At least when you’re ripping us off, learn how to spell it, assholes. And, uh, thanks. We’re flattered.

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Thanks, Henri and Jasmine!

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Yoko’s Onos

October 7th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Since Yoko Ono was honored with a National Arts award last night for “Outstanding Contributions to the Arts,” I’m only going to say nice things about her (instead of focusing on, say, her goofy, netted top hat, a fashion trend inexplicably on the rise).


So here goes. YOKO ONO HAS A REALLY NICE RACK. If you just vomited your Cheerios, bear in mind as you mop up your computer and Listerine your mouth that those boobs are 75 years old. A little perspective: they were born the year Hitler became, well, Hitler. They came into the world during the Great Depression (perhaps now we should call it “The First Great Depression”), and they pre-date television, as in those are radio play-era tits, okay? They’re even older than John McCain, whose man-boobs I hope to never see. Sure, the left one appears to be pushing in on the right one a bit, trying to get a little more attention (the Yoko to the right one’s John), but other than that, they’re impressively smooth, unveiny, and aloft. I’m charmed, too, by the fact that a septuagenarian such as Yoko has the chutzpah to flaunt her knockers. There’s something very dirty old lady about that, like her boobs aren’t at all ready for the nursing home and, instead, they’re ready to party like it’s 1949.

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