You are currently browsing posts tagged with Tiny People

BABEWATCH: Kimiko Date Krumm

June 30th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Kimiko Date (pronounced Dah-tay) Krumm

Age: 38

Hails from: Japan

Occupation: Professional tennis player

Why She’s a Babe: Because Kimiko came out of a 12-year retirement from tennis last year to compete again professionally. And at 38 years old, she’s typically playing opponents half her age. At 5’4″, 117 lbs.–of compact, tightly-ripped muscle–she’s also taking on players who are way bigger and faster than they were back in her day. That takes–no pun intended–balls. And ballsy play–even when you lose in the first round of Wimbledon–is hot.

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Thanks, Michael!

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Yuto Miyazawa

May 13th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Sometimes in life, the only words that are adequate in a situation are not actually words–they’re letters of an acronym.

And after hours of scratching my head, mouth agape, viewing sick video of teeny-tiny Yuto Miyazawa (a kid that picked up a guitar when he was 3, and has clearly only been playing rad axe-grinders for the six years since), I’ve realized that this is one of those sometimes.

Honestly, the only adequate letters for this moment are:

WTF?!?

[Yuto Miyazawa on Ellen]
[Yuto Miyazawa via Relix]

Thanks, Lezak!

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Lil’ Smokey

February 10th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I, like everyone else, am horrified by the sight of this very young child lighting and smoking a cigarette [via Videogum]–with the experienced hand of an ancient, alcoholic writer, no less–while in the care of adults:


Horrified.

Just horrified!

(Okay, guys, I know this is fucked up, but am I the only one that’s a teeny weeny weeny eeny weeny bit impressed by his smooth lighting technique, cool exhale, and aloof slouch? Just askin’.)

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Thanks, jRu!

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Weight, Wha??

December 15th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I just read that South Korean pop star Lee Hyori, who stands 5’4½” , recently revealed her weight of 53 kg (about 116 lbs) on the Korean variety show Family Outings. Those on the show apparently gasped! 53 kg indeed! In typical Hardass Asian fashion, the producers then had guest star Lee Su-Kyong (5’5″) step on the scale for comparison–her 101 lbs return was received much more kindly.


The shocker of Lee’s big “weight” is now hot blog news. What a fatty! …My jaw is on the floor, guys. I mean, huh?

Mind you, by pretty much all weight indexes, the minimum healthy weight for someone a half-inch shorter than Lee would be 116 lbs., and anything below that worthy of some concern. Take a look at her, in the photo to the left (ignore the fact that her right arm appears to be missing and that she’s wearing a flapper shirt as a dress). The girl is healthy, and borderline too-tiny. So why the gasps? I expect that kind of scrutiny from cruel little hens like my grandma and aunts, not cool kids in the blogosphere!

This whole episode is hammering me with flashbacks from my one traumautic experiment in pageant competition–wherein my competitors and I were required to parade down the catwalk while being introduced. Correction: while being introduced and having our respective heights and weights announced over the mic. I stand 5’8″–about a head taller than almost all of the other contestants–and even at my broke-collegiate-biking-and-walking-everywhere-cuz-I-couldn’t-afford-gas-for-my-compact-car weight of 127 lbs (a number I now laugh at in my far-too-wealthy-or-at-least-hungry-or-ok-I’m-old-and-busy-and-hate-exercising-too-much-to-be-skinny stage), my weight was digits above all of the other 93 lb midges in the quest for the crown. They were horrified by the sound of “hundred something pounds.” They all begged me to lie–”It sounds better,” they urged. “Just say 99.”

I couldn’t say “99.” I was too proud. The girl before me, a sweet, doe-eyed thing that was about 5’9″, maybe 160 lb, walked up on the stage and I listened for her numbers overhead. The announcer’s voice boomed: “Five-foot-nine, and ninety-nine pounds.” The audience clapped politely, taking no notice. I heard my name and stepped up for my turn.

“Five-foot-eight, and one-hundred twenty-five pounds (Yes, I lied a little).” I could’ve sworn I heard him chuckle.

The audience gasped. In the far back corner of the room, I saw my grandma smack her forehead with her soft, wrinkled, jade-baubled hand.

And as you probably remember, I didn’t make it to the pageant semi-finals. Was it because of the gasps? I’ll never know. But I wouldn’t be surprised–just like I’m not surprised that all of these blog hawks jumped on this little pop star. Of course they gasp! After all, THEY ALL SUCK.

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Clarissa Chun

June 23rd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


Name: Clarissa Chun

Hails from: Hawaii

Occupation: Olympic wrestler

Known for: At 4’11″ and 105 lbs., being the smallest U.S. Olympian; scoring a major upset at the Olympic Trials this month by beating Patricia Miranda, whom the 26 year-old Chun lost to at the 2004 Trials (and who went on to win the bronze in Athens); making those weird wrestling singlets look bitchin’ and putting a cute face on a badass, butch sport.

Somebody give homegirl an endorsement already!

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Thanks, Ken!

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I Want Muscles

February 19th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Meet Romeo Dev, the world’s smallest bodybuilder:


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Thanks, Greenie!

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Tiny ParisAsian Delights

August 17th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

In the absence of chihuauas, it appears that Paris “Crabs are my friends” Hilton has picked up a new kind of accessory: the tiny Asian girl.

Gosh, we wonder who she picked that idea up from?

Paris loves her Gwen dolls

Gwen loves her Gwen dolls, too


Hmph. We’re stumped. Just stumped.

(Merci, Bradford!)

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Funny Time with Jen Jr. and Diana Jr.

July 26th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Ever wonder what a typical day with young, Pre-DISGRASIAN Jen and Diana was like?

Ahhh…So precocious! Even as tots, we understood the joys of laughing like assholes at the shortcomings of others.

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Hey (Hey!) You (You!), I Don’t Think You’re Asian

July 25th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I’ve thought of shaming Canadian pop princess Avril Lavigne for a number of reasons, though I admit to loving her just a wee bit–she’s tiny, she’s purty, and I’ll be damned if her songs ain’t just as catchy as a venereal disease.

Never mind that I blame her as the figurehead for the proliferation of the Hot Topic generation–a loathsome bunch guilty of homogenizing punk attire and invalidating the epic cool of studded belts to such a degree that they will likely never recover. Never mind that she’s been accused of plagiarism multiple times, most recently by 1970s band The Rubinoos, who are currently suing over some pretty noticeable song theft in her mega-hit “Girlfriend.”

No, the real shame comes from the Mandarin “version” of the aforementioned mega-hit, which has been circulating the Net for some time now…

…which basically substitutes disconcertingly chipmunk-like Mandarin phrases for bits of the chorus.

Why not rock the whole song in Mandarin? Maybe her translator dropped the ball?

Avril might just be the first person in history unable to find good, cheap, Chinese labor.

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