DISGRASIAN™

DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Tila Tequila, Twitter Quitter-Quitter

After quitting Twitter Monday, citing the need “2 TAKE CARE OF MY BABY” and claiming that her time on the social network had “run it’s [sic] course,” Tila Tequila rejoined early Thursday, Radar Online reports.

This time around, however, Tila’s page is “secret.” Like, tippity Top Secret. Like Classified Information secret. Like I’d-tell-you-but-I’d-have-to-kill-you secret. Her reasoning being, as she Tweeted on her new “secret” page, to keep out the “filthy haters” and “Media peeps.”

Continue reading DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Tila Tequila, Twitter Quitter-Quitter

Filed under: Crazy Bitches, Nobody Loves a Quitter, Poorly-Kept Secrets, Tila Nguyen, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Quits Twitter, Tila Tequila Rejoins Twitter, Tila Tequila Twitter, Tila's Hotspot

BREAKING NEWS!!! Tila Tequila Is A Twitter Quitter

Holy shit. TILA HAS STOPPED TWEETING.

Wait. That’s not breaking news. That’s not even news!!! What the fuck is wrong with us? Maybe we’ve been watching too much CNN these days or something.

(Proceeding to flog selves)

[E!: Tila Tequila Turns Off Twitter]

Source
Thanks, Jasmine!

Filed under: Celebrity Twitter, Celebrity Twitterers, Finally, Internet Omnipresence, Shut It Down, Social Networking, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Cancels Twitter Account, Tila Tequila Is Batshit, Tila Tequila Twitter

Back, Back, Forth And Forth On Tila

Reading through New York Magazine’s follow-up feature with Tila Tequila discussing her late fiancee Casey Johnson, Internet backlash, and pursuits for the future, I started to think that Tequila might be a little more sound in the mind than we often give her credit for.

All chicks are crazy, but...

Continue reading Back, Back, Forth And Forth On Tila

Filed under: Ambassador To Vietnam, Batshit Women, Casey Johnson, Fame is Useless, Mourning, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Crazy, Tila Tequila Twitter, Twitter, Vascillasian

Love Means Never Having To Tweet “R.I.P.!”

Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson was reported dead at age 30 yesterday, a news story that gained traction because the socialite had recently captured headlines, as the affianced to Tila Tequila and one-third of a love triangle with Courtenay Semel.

Casey Johnson and Tila Tequila

As soon as the news broke, readers realized quickly that Johnson’s death–which must have come as a painful shock to her family (father is NY Jets owner Woody Johnson) and lifelong friends–was overshadowed in the headlines by her fledgling ties to Tequila.

Continue reading Love Means Never Having To Tweet “R.I.P.!”

Filed under: Casey Johnson, Casey Johnson Dies, Casey Johnson Heiress, Celebrity Twitter, Celebrity Twitterers, Death, Death as a Career Opportunity, Fucked Up Shit, Publicity Stunts, Sad, Thinking Publicly, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Twitter, Twitter, Woody Johnson

Tila Tequila Comes Out (Again)

Tila Tequila’s come out again!

No more pickles for Tila!

The girl who began her career catering to straight dudes too cheap to buy their own porn, then graduated to bisexuality just in time to premiere–what else?–a bisexual dating show, has come out as a lesbian, as she announced on Twitter this week.

Continue reading Tila Tequila Comes Out (Again)

Filed under: Celebrity Twitterers, Coming Out, Drive-Bis, Drive-Bisexuality, Puppet Fuckers, Sexual Orientation, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Comes Out as Lesbian, Tila Tequila Social Networking Site, Tila Tequila Twitter

DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Tila Tequila’s Alter Ego, “Jane”

At what point can we say that Twitter’s jumped the shark? When your boss joins? When your mom joins?

How about when your alter ego starts Tweeting, as was the case yesterday with Tila Tequila?

The Twitter account of Tila, who has professed to suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder (aka Multiple Personality Disorder), was hijacked briefly Monday by one of her alters, “Jane.” Tila’s describes Jane on her MySpace page as “crazy” and someone who “always wants to kill me.”

(Then again, after the Twitter-jacking, she also called Jane her “Sasa Fierce” [sic] and boasted that she had her alter ego 10 years before Beyoncé “came wit that,” so, uh, Jane also appears to be a career asset.)

And what else did we learn about Jane yesterday?

Continue reading DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Tila Tequila’s Alter Ego, “Jane”

Filed under: Alter Egos, Celebrity Twitterers, DISGWITTER, Dissociative identity Disorder, I Am... Sasha Fierce, Jumping the Shark, Multiple Personality Disorder, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Alter Ego, Tila Tequila Jane, Tila Tequila Twitter

A Shot at Marriage with Tila Tequila

by Guest Contributor Intern Jasmine of This Is Jasmine:

Apparently, somebody proposed marriage to Tila Tequila this month.

There it was on her (now protected) Twitter stream, and you know if it’s on Twitter, it must be true, right?

While Tila Tequila is, in fact, the person I believe is doing even less for Asian-American women than Michelle Malkin, I guess that doesn’t mean she isn’t entitled to martial bliss. In fact, Jen and Diana wondered if maybe DISGRASIAN™ shouldn’t send over a present or something to congratulate the happy couple, an attempt to bury the hatchet for a little while. Frankly, I thought the money could be better spent on a present for me, their devoted intern, but I’m trying to be a better person. So I set about looking for the perfect gift with a minimum of whining.

What do you get for VH1’s premiere reality show fame ‘ho? As she is, supposedly, the queen of the internet, I went a-Googling for some clues. While Tila’s Twitter is now hidden, pics posted to Twitpic from her Twitter are still available. Pictures of her “bow pams” (read: her boobs) and celebrity pals like P. Diddy aside, there really wasn’t much to help me figure out what would make the best gift. Would a media mistress like her do something so pedestrian as actually register for presents?

She would! She did! It’s right here!

I forwarded the registry to Jen and Diana, who were just as surprised as I was. Jen handed over the DISGRASIAN™ credit card, warning me not to spend more than $75 and not to buy anything that I couldn’t return.

Tila was smart enough to list a number of items at various price points, because, you know, bloggers are a budget-conscious crew. The registry obscured the identity of her groom, alas – he’s listed as “Tilo Tequila” on the registry. Who is this dude? Is he so much more famous that the sheer knowledge of his identity as the groom would turn all of our worlds upside down? There weren’t a lot of “manly” things on the registry anyway–many of the gifts seem targeted towards her, um, taste. Unless I’m wrong and the size 5 clear heels from “Exotic High Heels” are actually for the groom (Tila’s comments below are italicized):

“CLEAR HEELS ARE THE LITTLE BLACK DRESS OF YOUR FEET.
THEY GO WITH EVERYTHING.”

Can’t argue with her there. I mean, clear heels are a reality tv fashion “do,” right?

Tila also registered for some white lingerie, which sounded so sweet:

Oh dear. You can accuse Tila of a lot of things (believe me, I know I do) but you can’t say she doesn’t have a sense of humor.

Other items on the list that caught my interest:

“NO COMMENT! LOLZ!”

“Blu contacts on an AZN? Not natural but SUPERNATURAL! These are my ’something blu’!!!!!”

The Magic Bullet and the sheets strike me as being normal gifts, the kind of stuff you’d see on anybody’s wedding registry. But the Magic Wand Massager? That’s a little intimate, though I suppose in 2009 it shouldn’t surprise a prude like me that ladies would not only have them but think to put them on registries for other folks to see in the first place.

Part of trying to be a better person is challenging one’s norms. So I guess I’m settling on the Magic Wand Massager as a gift to Tila and her Mr. Tequila-to-be. Weirdly, there’s an option on Amazon to buy this used, a thought I entertained for five seconds, being a budget-conscious blogger myself (plus, it’s kinda funny, no?). But I don’t think I could bring myself to buy a used vibrator massager for anybody–no matter how gross I thought they were–not even for Tila Tequila.

[Tila Tequila Wedding Registry]

Filed under: Awful Wedding Rituals, Magic Wand Massager, Shameless Self-Promotion, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Engaged, Tila Tequila Marriage, Tila Tequila Twitter, Twitter Rumors, Vibrators, Wedding Registries

Tila Tequila Is a Smart, Coherent, NY Times-Reading, Possible Party-Switching Beheaded Martyr

I think it’s wonderful that Tila Tequila is finally doing something with her celebrity, by appearing in a NoH8 PSA released this week in response to the CA Supreme Court’s disappointing ruling on Prop 8 and blogging her support for gay marriage (for which she has received quite a bit of grief, see below).

Does this signal the dawn of a new-and-improved Tila Tequila? Well, after reading Tila’s blog post, “My Thoughts on Prop 8 Situation,” and her Tweets that followed, I can confidently conclude the following:

Tila’s a MARTYR FOR THE CAUSE!

The first thing I did was make a few tweets about it on my twitter page(www.twitter.com/OfficialTila). Immediately, I received an outpouring response from angry people. I felt as though I was being burnt as stake or beheaded for voicing my opinions, and I still stand tall in my beliefs. I guess times have not changed much because I very much so believe that this is TODAY’s version of “beheading” someone. Some people even had the nerve to call me “RACIST” for whatever their reasoning is just because I was disapointed in PRESIDENT OBAMA in his decisions for not supporting Gay Marriages.–from Tila’s post, “My Thoughts on Prop 8 Situation,” reposted to Global Grind

She’s the VOICE OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE!

Now may I ask you all, what is the point of being in the “PUBLIC EYE” if you don’t have a voice or use that medium and take advantage of that outlet to speak your mind? I am not trying to harm anyone, nor am I trying to start a War. I am simply trying to voice my opinions on why I believe it is important for all human beings to have Equal rights. No where else in this world can I come to a new country as an immigrant, and yet be able to build a platform for myself, becoming an AMERICAN CITIZEN and having the ULTIMATE AMERCAN DREAM! Where else in this world can I enjoy such fresh freedom such as I do here? Only in AMERICA!–from “My Thoughts on Prop 8 Situation,” reposted to Global Grind

She’s a PARAGON OF COHERENCE!

She’s a NY TIMES READER!

She’s a FUTURE REPUBLICAN!


She’s…she’s…

Wait, what were we talking about here? Something having to do with gay marriage? I got so distracted thinking about martyrs, beheadings, Joan of Arc, the fact that I haven’t read the NY Times today (unlike some other very smart people), and tooting one’s own horn, I totally spaced on the real subject at hand.

[Global Grind: "My Thoughts on Prop 8 Situation.."]
[Tila Tequila Official Twitter Feed]

Filed under: Gay Marriage, Gay Marriage Ban, Martyrs, Meghan McCain, NOH8 Campaign, Persecuted People, Prop 8, Shameless Self-Promotion, Tila Nguyen, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Censorship, Tila Tequila Twitter

Tila Tequila May Be Pregnant, and It May Be Our Fault

Tila Tequila’s rumored to be pregnant by someone, in her words, “like A-list famous”–rumors that she, ahem, started herself on Twitter–and we can’t help but think it’s our fault.

Because, in response to recent census data revealing that our population numbers are shrinking in the U.S., we asked our people to start procreating. We didn’t think people would take our advice literally or that they’d start doing it, y’know, right this second. (Perhaps Tila’s uterus is magic?) But now that, uh, some people have, we’ve come to believe our disclaimer–advising people with certain conditions to disregard our procreation call–was probably not thorough enough either.

So as much as we hate a redo, because that suggests we actually made a mistake, we feel compelled to reissue that disclaimer, with some minor revisions and in a bigger font, for the hard-of-seeing:

DISCLAIMER: This advice [re: that our people should procreate] should not be heeded by teenagers, students with outstanding college loans and no job prospects, hipsters, hipster grifters, assholes, drips, people lacking in charisma, dumb people, lovers of emo, children-haters, people lacking “indoor voices,” Michelle Malkin, or mimes…as well as fame whores, reality TV “stars,” people with fake circus tits, people with dead-sounding voices lacking in inflection, clichés, terrible recording artists, and…Tila Tequila.

Source
Thanks, Jasmine!

Filed under: Asian-American Population Shrinking, Circus Tits, Disclaimers, Oversharing, Tila Nguyen, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Pregnant, Tila Tequila Twitter, Twitter Overkill

Too Much Twittering Turns You into an Unfeeling Douchebag

Scientists at USC have found that too much Twittering and exposure to streaming news bulletins and information on social networking platforms inures people to pain and suffering.

“If things are happening too fast, you may not ever fully experience emotions about other people’s psychological states and that would have implications for your morality,” said researcher Mary Helen Immordino-Yang.

In other words, Twitter turns you into a self-centered d-bag. Considering the popularity of celebrity blowhards like Shaq, Ashton Kutcher, and Tila Tequila on Twitter, the science is probably sound.

But doesn’t this also seem like the digital age’s version of “Heavy Metal Records Make You Kill Yourself,” and won’t it drive more kids to Twitter who are looking for a way to give the finger to Mom and Dad? Like, “Give me Tweeting, or give me death”? Boy is that a depressing thought.

Unless those kids sign up for Twitter and follow us. Then, you know, it’s all good, said self-centered d-bags Jen and Diana.

Filed under: Ashton Kutcher Twitter, Celebrity Twitterers, Shaq Twitter, Social Networking, Tila Tequila Twitter, Tweets, Twitter, Twitter Is The New Black, Twitter Teenage Rebellion

Tila Protects Herself Before She Wrecks Herself (Again)

Y’all, I’m pretty sure the world is coming to an end, because I was just over on Twitter when I discovered this:

Tila Tequila’s protecting her updates?! As in, she’s keeping some of her shit to herself for a change? I’m not sure if this signals that pigs can fly and hell’s frozen over, but I like it.

Source

Filed under: Attention Whores, Celebrity Twitterers, Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, Drive-Bis, Playing It Safe, Protected Twitter Sex, Tila Nguyen, Tila Tequila Protects Twitter Updates, Tila Tequila Twitter

Twila Twequila

Tila Tequila Twitters. A lot. She joined less than two weeks ago and has already posted over 500 updates and has 67,000+ followers at last count. She claims not to have a ghost Twitterer microblogging for her, but she also claimed to be bisexual just in time for–tada!–her bisexual dating show on MTV, so make of that what you will.

That said, Tila’s Twitter feed is her most interesting work to date. Here are the top ten things I’ve learned from “Twila”:

• She has a crush on David Lynch.
• She takes Ambien/Lunesta to sleep, and when she runs out of pills, Nyquil.
• She’s really pissed at Rihanna for not being a “better role model” and for “partying.”

• She’s been studying quantum physics “for many years.”
• She’s a conspiracy theorist.

• The “biggest celebrity douchebag asshole” she’s ever met is Jared Leto, whom she calls “a self-absorbed cunt.”
• She is BTF (Best Twitter Friends) with Meghan McCain (@McCainBlogette).
• She is always LOL.
• Her idols are “Kathryn of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Queen Elizabeth, Joan of Arc and Tupac Shakur.”
• The only person she really hates in the world is Nadya Suleman, aka Octomom, because of the way that “hoebag…smiles when paparazzi’s are swarming her.”

See what I mean? Pretty entertaining stuff. Who knows if a word of it is true, except for the part about Jared Leto being a cunt. That I would never dispute.

Source

Filed under: Celebrity Twitterers, Celebutards, David Lynch, Jared Leto, Meghan McCain, Microblogging, Quantum Physics, Rihanna, Tila Tequila Free Speech, Tila Tequila Twitter, Tweets, Twitter