DISGRASIAN™

Twila Twequila

Tila Tequila Twitters. A lot. She joined less than two weeks ago and has already posted over 500 updates and has 67,000+ followers at last count. She claims not to have a ghost Twitterer microblogging for her, but she also claimed to be bisexual just in time for–tada!–her bisexual dating show on MTV, so make of that what you will.

That said, Tila’s Twitter feed is her most interesting work to date. Here are the top ten things I’ve learned from “Twila”:

• She has a crush on David Lynch.
• She takes Ambien/Lunesta to sleep, and when she runs out of pills, Nyquil.
• She’s really pissed at Rihanna for not being a “better role model” and for “partying.”

• She’s been studying quantum physics “for many years.”
• She’s a conspiracy theorist.

• The “biggest celebrity douchebag asshole” she’s ever met is Jared Leto, whom she calls “a self-absorbed cunt.”
• She is BTF (Best Twitter Friends) with Meghan McCain (@McCainBlogette).
• She is always LOL.
• Her idols are “Kathryn of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Queen Elizabeth, Joan of Arc and Tupac Shakur.”
• The only person she really hates in the world is Nadya Suleman, aka Octomom, because of the way that “hoebag…smiles when paparazzi’s are swarming her.”

See what I mean? Pretty entertaining stuff. Who knows if a word of it is true, except for the part about Jared Leto being a cunt. That I would never dispute.

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Filed under: Celebrity Twitterers, Celebutards, David Lynch, Jared Leto, Meghan McCain, Microblogging, Quantum Physics, Rihanna, Tila Tequila Free Speech, Tila Tequila Twitter, Tweets, Twitter

Yoo Suck, Again

In a newly declassified Justice Department memo released Monday, it was revealed that “torture memos” author, legal expert and professional fat-face John Yoo also recommended to the Bush administration shortly after 9/11 that First Amendment rights be suspended during its “war on terror.”

“First Amendment speech and press rights may also be subordinated to the overriding need to wage war successfully,” Yoo wrote in the memo entitled “Authority for Use of Military Force to Combat Terrorist Activity Within the United States.“

So, to review: Yoo is totally okay with crushing the testicles of a child, and he’s also down with squelching free speech. No wonder the citizens of Berkeley, CA want him fired from his tenured position at the law school and declared a war criminal. But I’ve got a better idea. He and fellow bondage-lover/free speech-hater Tila Tequila should make a baby!

It would be adorable in that Bad Seed, Damien Thorn sorta way.

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Filed under: Babies From Hell, Bondage, John Yoo, John Yoo Free Speech, Testicle Crushing, The Bush Administration, The First Amendment, The Torture Memo, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Free Speech, Torture

Hooking Up with Tila Tequila: An Interpretasian

So we know that all of you have already gone out and purchased Tila’s roman à clef, Hooking Up with Tila Tequila. But we’re pretty sure no one has examined it quite like this:

This interpretive reading was inspired by the viral vid Kittens Inspired by Kittens and uses the same audio. Which has Tila stoked–because a free butt plug is a free butt plug, something she may want to keep in mind as she tries to censor the internet.

Thanks, Jasmine!

Filed under: Hooking Up with Tila Tequila, Kittens Inspired by Kittens, Roman A Clef, Tila Nguyen, Tila Tequila, Tila Tequila Censorship, Tila Tequila Copyright Infringement, Tila Tequila Free Speech, Viral Videos

Tila Tequila Likes to F*ck…with Free Speech

In lieu of putting up pictures of Tila Tequila, we give you a diseased pussy instead

A little over a week ago, we received a takedown notification from Blogger telling us that Tila Tequila (and her legal team, presumably) has claimed DISGRASIAN has infringed upon her copyrights in a specific post written in April of last year. The post, coincidentally, was about the last Miley Cyrus flap, when she posed as pedobait for Vanity Fair, and it included the sage advice Tila had given Miley at the time as well as a screengrab from A Shot at Love (read it here before Tila “disappears” it). Here is a copy of the takedown notice:

The day before we received this notification, a blogger at Nerve also received a cease-and-desist letter from Tila’s people accusing the blogger of “unauthorized exploitation” of Tila’s name and image.

It sounds to us like Tila has begun a campaign to rehabilitate her image and become more mainstream. Perhaps she should have thought about that before she put titty shots of herself all over the internet, recorded crap songs like “I Like to Fuck,” wrote crap rants about the “Fuck God” that she tried to pass off as poetry, and made her dating life into a base, prurient, lowest common denominator-game show.

It also sounds a helluva lot like Tila Tequila believes in CENSORSHIP. Of the very same medium that made her, which, frankly, we find shockingly ungrateful. And while we don’t know a ton about the law, we do know that:

1. Free speech is constitutional.
2. We’re pretty sure that writing about and posting pictures of Tila Tequila is protected under Fair Use law.
3. Just to be sure, we’re consulting legal experts in internet law at Harvard and Stanford.
4. Did somebody say “takedown”?! We love a good, old-fashioned, motherfucking takedown.

In non-legalese, that means BRING IT, BITCH.

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Filed under: Bitchfights, Bring It, Fair Use, Free Speech-Haters, Tila Nguyen, Tila Tequila Censorship, Tila Tequila Copyright Infringement, Tila Tequila Free Speech, Tila Tequila Takedown