You are currently browsing posts tagged with Tiger Woods Sex Scandals

Tiger And Earl’s Post-Mortem Commercial: Creepy-Ass Or Creative Genius?

April 8th, 2010 | 10 comments | Posted by Diana

Nike has just released a new spot marking Tiger’s return to professional golf:




In dramatic black and white, a pensive–perhaps repentant–Tiger Woods stares beyond the camera (thinking about either his fall from grace or a turkey club sandwich), hearing the words of his late Hardass Dad:

“Tiger…
I am more prone to be inquisitive to promote discussion.
I want to find out what your thinking was.
I wanna find out what your feelings are…
and… did you learn anything?



Frankly, I think Tiger has learned something very important: good marketing, sorry faces, and a stellar golf game can EASILY clean up the Katrina of sex scandals in about… six months!

But maybe I’m wrong. Please discuss (comment) below.

[via HuffPo]
[Associated Content: New Tiger Woods Nike Commercial, "Earl And Tiger," Released]

Source

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Even Tammy Wynette Wouldn’t Stand By This Bullsh*t (Tiger Woods Returns To Golf)

March 31st, 2010 | 10 comments | Posted by Jen

Tiger Woods returns to golf next week at the Masters golf tournament in Augusta, GA, which is all a lot of people–myself included–have wanted since news of his multiple extramarital affairs surfaced. Golf may be boring, but nothing’s more boring than seeing Tiger’s “Hey Sexy, What Are You Wearing?” text messages dominate the headlines and knowing the dull minutiae of his life. I mean, porn mistresses and turkey club sandwiches? Could you be more pedestrian?!

["Kittens and Tiger Woods' Sexts" via BuzzFeed]

There’s only one problem with Tiger’s return, and that’s how the media’s predicting things will go. Not with his golf swing, mind you, but with his soon-to-be-ex wife, Elin.

Continue reading Even Tammy Wynette Wouldn’t Stand By This Bullsh*t (Tiger Woods Returns To Golf)

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Sandra Bullock’s Famous Last Words

March 26th, 2010 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

The NY Post reports that two months before her own husband was exposed as a cheater, Sandra Bullock had this to say about the whole Tiger Woods situation:

“If I were [Tiger's wife] Elin [Nordegren], man, I would have hit a lot more than she did,” Bullock said. “I would have kept hitting.”

A reporter with syndicated TV show “The Insider” egged on the actress with a leading question — “You would have been still swinging the golf club?”

“Yeah, she [Elin] stopped, she was respectable,” Bullock repied. “I’d get the baseball bat, I’d get everything out.”

Does this mean Sandy’s going to beat the shit out of her no-good, MySpace-ing, Vanilla Gorilla couchfucker? We wouldn’t pay money to see the The Blind Side–or almost any Sandra Bullock movie, really–but we’d sure as hell pay to see that.

[NY Post: Sandra Bullock would have used bat on Tiger]

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Tiger Woods Mans Up By Wearing Man-Jewelry

March 22nd, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

For the first time since the Nov. 27 car accident that outed him as a cheater, Tiger Woods answered questions from the media in two separate interviews with the Golf Channel and ESPN.

Both interviews were billed as Tiger’s first since Nov. 27, and both seemed as carefully scripted as his Feb. 19 press conference. To each media outlet, Tiger declined to discuss what really happened on Nov. 27 when he cracked up his Escalade in the middle of the night, saying everything was already “in the police report” and anything beyond that was a “private” matter. When the Golf Channel’s Kelly Tilghman asked Tiger how he crashed his car, the golfer did nothing to improve the rep of Asian drivers everywhere by saying, rather obliquely:

I wasn’t going very fast, but unfortunately, I hit a few things.

Tiger did make one VERY BIG personal revelation over the weekend, however.

Continue reading Tiger Woods Mans Up By Wearing Man-Jewelry

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Tiger Publicly Apologizes For Cheating, Athletes Everywhere Groan

February 19th, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Jen

Tiger Woods apologized today, ushering in a bizarre new era where professional athletes ask forgiveness for cheating on their wives not only from their wives but from the general public.

(Somewhere, Charles Barkley is driving his SUV drunk on the way to a blowjob, marveling at his own genius.)

To recap, Tiger said he:

  • has a lot to atone for
  • doesn’t get to play by different rules
  • brought shame to his family
  • wants to live a life of integrity
  • will become a better person by returning to Buddhism and by seeking more treatment and therapy

If that fails, Tiger can always tape this picture of his mother Kultida from the press conference (at the 6:00 mark) to a mirror, to scare his ass straight:

Continue reading Tiger Publicly Apologizes For Cheating, Athletes Everywhere Groan

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Happy Year Of The Tiger! (Or Is It?)

February 15th, 2010 | 12 comments | Posted by Jen

HAPPY NEW YEAR, DISGRASIAN NATION!

It’s the Year of the Tiger, the motto of which is “I Win.” The sign is considered one of bravery, thought to scare away all of those things you’d read about in an Amy Tan novel, like fire, thieves, and ghosts. Also, the tiger is one sexy beast, way more appealing than 2009′s fat lumbering ox. Sounds pretty auspicious, right?

Maybe too auspicious to be true. Because while the Year of the Tiger may look awesome on the surface, it could wind up being, to quote the movie Clueless (RIP Brit Murphy), a full-on Monet–okay from far away, but close-up, a “big ol’ mess.” Here are reasons not to go rawr!:

Continue reading Happy Year Of The Tiger! (Or Is It?)

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