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Nike has just released a new spot marking Tiger’s return to professional golf:
In dramatic black and white, a pensive–perhaps repentant–Tiger Woods stares beyond the camera (thinking about either his fall from grace or a turkey club sandwich), hearing the words of his late Hardass Dad:
I am more prone to be inquisitive to promote discussion.
I want to find out what your thinking was.
I wanna find out what your feelings are…
and… did you learn anything?“
Frankly, I think Tiger has learned something very important: good marketing, sorry faces, and a stellar golf game can EASILY clean up the Katrina of sex scandals in about… six months!
But maybe I’m wrong. Please discuss (comment) below.
Filed under: Cheaters, Creepy Voices, Dads, Drama, Earl Woods, Hardass Parents of All Colors, Learning Things the Hard Way, Nike, Post-Mortem Appearances In Commercials, Repentance, Showbiz Moms and Dads, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Apologizes, Tiger Woods Nike Commercial, Tiger Woods Returns to Golf, Tiger Woods Sex Scandal, Tiger Woods Sex Scandals, Turkey Club Sandwich Tiger Woods
Until recently, I knew very little about tween pop phenom Justin Bieber except that he once performed a sold-out free show at the garish outlet mall (you can see it from an airplane!) fifteen minutes from my house, has monopolized Twitter’s trending topics for nearly two months, and apparently has the same weave as Tiger’s quack porn flame, Joslyn James.
But hey, I kinda like the kid. He’s got a sweet little Cinderella story (a young, cute, Canadian YouTube sensation gets discovered by a fancy manager who turns a few mall appearances into international superstardom and a Billboard #1 album). He seems sweet. He’s got a young Joey McIntyre’s pipes. And he kinda reminds me of Hayley Mills.
So I can see why Bay Area R&B outfit Legaci (aka LGC) decided to cover Bieber’s sugary, chart-topping hit, “Baby”–it’s addictive in a modern doo-wop sort of way. Just a month ago, Legaci posted a magical living room performance of the song for YouTube with sultry-voiced Cathy Nguyen and smooth talker Traphik, which has clocked nearly Continue reading ROCK OF ASIAN: Legaci aka LGC aka Justin Bieber’s Backup Biebs
Filed under: Backup Singers, Canadians, Cindarella Stories, Citadel Outlet Mall, Cropped 'Dos, Cuteness, Discovery, Hair Trends, Hayley Mills, Josyln James, Justin Bieber, Legaci, LGC, Mall Stars, Porn Stars, Tiger Woods Sex Scandal, Trending Topics, Tween Stars, Twitter, YouTube Sensations
Famed, self-proclaimed “feminist lawyer” Gloria Allred has accomplished some bold and fascinating things during her long, high-profile career. She sued the Boy Scouts for excluding girls. She repped Nicole Brown Simpson’s family in the O.J. Simpson murder trial. In ’04, she filed the first lawsuit in California challenging the denial of marriage licenses as being unconstitutional.
But Allred also represents Tiger’s classiest mistress, Rachel Uchitel, and helped her nab $10 million to keep her trap shut about her sexy times with the year’s most famous philanderer. She took on client Josyln James, the porn star who’s been peddling her dirty wares alongside an online log of Tiger’s banausic sexts, and seeks an apology for James’s… time?
The attorney now stands alongside a new money-grubbing fame-seeking apology-seeking bandwagoneer: Woods’s kindergarten teacher, Maureen Decker. Decker feels wronged by a story that first appeared in Charles Barkley’s book The Wicked Game, which was published in 2005–and after five years realized that Tiger Woods was wrapped in a shit spiral and ladies everywhere could cash in if they played their cards right she couldn’t take the “migraines, elevated blood pressure, and colitis” for one more day, sought Allred’s inparticular counsel, and went public with her beef.
Does simply signing clients with vaginas make one a feminist? Because we kinda think that a truly pro-fem lawyer would have been the one working to secure Elin Nordegren’s future and due financial security. Instead, she’s taking a percentage of victories for women who feel they are owed something for spreading their legs and screwing somebody else’s husband. Ah, what a powerful message: “If I fuck you, you better take care of me.”
Filed under: 15 Minutes of Fame, Bad Examples, Elin Nordegren, Fame Whores, Feminism is Dead, Feminists, firsts, Glorie Allred, I Call Bullshit, Lawsuits, Mistresses, Money-Grubbers, Rachel Uchitel, Striking While The Iron Is Hot, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Affair, Tiger Woods Affairs, Tiger Woods Sex Scandal, Ugh
After expressing regret for his “transgressions” in a written statement in December but maintaining that “(p)ersonal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn’t have to mean public confessions,” Tiger Woods is set to eat his words on Friday, when he plans to issue a public apology in front of a small group of friends, colleagues, and reporters in Florida.
Which is nothing short of historic. I mean, have you ever heard of a professional athlete apologizing for being a dog and having sex with women other than his wife? (Somewhere, Michael Jordan is laughing his ass off at a blackjack table.) Isn’t that the sort of behavior we’ve come to expect from athletes like Tiger, the sort of behavior that, in fact, we not-so-secretly relish about them, that they aren’t physically bound by the same laws that we civilians are, both on the playing field and in their pants? (Somewhere, Wilt Chamberlain, layer of 20,000 women, is rolling over in his grave.)
Let’s think about this for a second.
Filed under: Caublinasians, Contrition, Elin Nordegren, Golf, Mixed People, PR Moves, Sexting, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Public Apology, Tiger Woods Sex Scandal, Tiger Woods to Apologize, Who Knew Golf Could Get You Laid?