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Both interviews were billed as Tiger’s first since Nov. 27, and both seemed as carefully scripted as his Feb. 19 press conference. To each media outlet, Tiger declined to discuss what really happened on Nov. 27 when he cracked up his Escalade in the middle of the night, saying everything was already “in the police report” and anything beyond that was a “private” matter. When the Golf Channel’s Kelly Tilghman asked Tiger how he crashed his car, the golfer did nothing to improve the rep of Asian drivers everywhere by saying, rather obliquely:
I wasn’t going very fast, but unfortunately, I hit a few things.
Tiger did make one VERY BIG personal revelation over the weekend, however.
Filed under: Asian Drivers, bad asian drivers, Buddhism, Elin Nordegren, Man Jewelry, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Affair, Tiger Woods Buddhist, Tiger Woods Crash, Tiger Woods Returns, Tiger Woods Sex Scandals
As Gawker aptly pointed out yesterday, nearly every hack comedian in America managed a take on this setup: “Blasian Tiger Woods crashes his Escalade.”
There are many versions, but the joke goes something like this:
Tiger Woods crashed his Escalade yesterday!
Well you know, he’s Black and Asian [pause for yuks].
And of course… the Black part of him bought the Cadillac [insert ghetto grin] and the Asian part of him was driving [insert buck teef]!
Click here for the sampler flight of punchlines.
Surprisingly, though, not one comedian seemed to find a way to make the “joke” funny. ZzZZZzzZzzZZZzZzzzzzZzzzz.
Thanks, Jasmine and Colin!
Filed under: Asian Drivers, Bad Driving, Bad Jokes, Blasians, Buck Teef, Cadillac, Escalade, George Lopez Is Criminally Unfunny, Jo Koy, Lame, Stereotypes, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Crash, Tiger Woods Runs Car Into Fire Hydrant, Wanda Sykes, ZZzzzZzZzZZzzzz
Tiger Woods’s domestic fiasco is undoubtedly the most exciting squabble of the holiday season so far! For those who missed it, the haiku wrap up is:
He maybe cheated
Elin his wife was so mad
Car crash and scandal
But if you need more details, TMZ has predictably posted the full play-by-play. They will continue to uncover every ugly detail, we’re sure!
Tiger released a statement on his website, kindly asking for the privacy “he deserves” while staying mum:
“As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I’m pretty sore.
This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.
This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.
Filed under: Celebrity "Privacy", Cheating, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Issues, Elin Nordegren, Extramarital Affairs, Mrs. Woods, Privacy, Right to Privacy, Scandals, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Affair, Tiger Woods Crash, Tiger Woods Runs Car Intro Fire Hydrant, TMZ, Whoopsieeee