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Famed, self-proclaimed “feminist lawyer” Gloria Allred has accomplished some bold and fascinating things during her long, high-profile career. She sued the Boy Scouts for excluding girls. She repped Nicole Brown Simpson’s family in the O.J. Simpson murder trial. In ’04, she filed the first lawsuit in California challenging the denial of marriage licenses as being unconstitutional.
But Allred also represents Tiger’s classiest mistress, Rachel Uchitel, and helped her nab $10 million to keep her trap shut about her sexy times with the year’s most famous philanderer. She took on client Josyln James, the porn star who’s been peddling her dirty wares alongside an online log of Tiger’s banausic sexts, and seeks an apology for James’s… time?
The attorney now stands alongside a new money-grubbing fame-seeking apology-seeking bandwagoneer: Woods’s kindergarten teacher, Maureen Decker. Decker feels wronged by a story that first appeared in Charles Barkley’s book The Wicked Game, which was published in 2005–and after five years realized that Tiger Woods was wrapped in a shit spiral and ladies everywhere could cash in if they played their cards right she couldn’t take the “migraines, elevated blood pressure, and colitis” for one more day, sought Allred’s inparticular counsel, and went public with her beef.
Does simply signing clients with vaginas make one a feminist? Because we kinda think that a truly pro-fem lawyer would have been the one working to secure Elin Nordegren’s future and due financial security. Instead, she’s taking a percentage of victories for women who feel they are owed something for spreading their legs and screwing somebody else’s husband. Ah, what a powerful message: “If I fuck you, you better take care of me.”
Filed under: 15 Minutes of Fame, Bad Examples, Elin Nordegren, Fame Whores, Feminism is Dead, Feminists, firsts, Glorie Allred, I Call Bullshit, Lawsuits, Mistresses, Money-Grubbers, Rachel Uchitel, Striking While The Iron Is Hot, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Affair, Tiger Woods Affairs, Tiger Woods Sex Scandal, Ugh
Tiger Woods returns to golf next week at the Masters golf tournament in Augusta, GA, which is all a lot of people–myself included–have wanted since news of his multiple extramarital affairs surfaced. Golf may be boring, but nothing’s more boring than seeing Tiger’s “Hey Sexy, What Are You Wearing?” text messages dominate the headlines and knowing the dull minutiae of his life. I mean, porn mistresses and turkey club sandwiches? Could you be more pedestrian?!
There’s only one problem with Tiger’s return, and that’s how the media’s predicting things will go. Not with his golf swing, mind you, but with his
soon-to-be-ex wife, Elin.
Filed under: Blasians, Cheaters, Elin Nordegren, Golf, Stand by Your Man, Tammy Wynette, The Masters Golf Tournament, This is Bullshit, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Affair, Tiger Woods Affairs, Tiger Woods Marriage, Tiger Woods Returns, Tiger Woods Sex Scandals, Who Knew Golf Could Get You Laid?
Both interviews were billed as Tiger’s first since Nov. 27, and both seemed as carefully scripted as his Feb. 19 press conference. To each media outlet, Tiger declined to discuss what really happened on Nov. 27 when he cracked up his Escalade in the middle of the night, saying everything was already “in the police report” and anything beyond that was a “private” matter. When the Golf Channel’s Kelly Tilghman asked Tiger how he crashed his car, the golfer did nothing to improve the rep of Asian drivers everywhere by saying, rather obliquely:
I wasn’t going very fast, but unfortunately, I hit a few things.
Tiger did make one VERY BIG personal revelation over the weekend, however.
Filed under: Asian Drivers, bad asian drivers, Buddhism, Elin Nordegren, Man Jewelry, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Affair, Tiger Woods Buddhist, Tiger Woods Crash, Tiger Woods Returns, Tiger Woods Sex Scandals
Tiger Woods’s domestic fiasco is undoubtedly the most exciting squabble of the holiday season so far! For those who missed it, the haiku wrap up is:
He maybe cheated
Elin his wife was so mad
Car crash and scandal
But if you need more details, TMZ has predictably posted the full play-by-play. They will continue to uncover every ugly detail, we’re sure!
Tiger released a statement on his website, kindly asking for the privacy “he deserves” while staying mum:
“As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I’m pretty sore.
This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.
This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.
Filed under: Celebrity "Privacy", Cheating, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Issues, Elin Nordegren, Extramarital Affairs, Mrs. Woods, Privacy, Right to Privacy, Scandals, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Affair, Tiger Woods Crash, Tiger Woods Runs Car Intro Fire Hydrant, TMZ, Whoopsieeee