DISGRASIAN™

Threesomes And Pageants Go Together Like Ramma Lamma Lamma Ka Dinga Da Dinga Dong

By now, you’ve likely heard about the just-leaked threesome sex tape (WARNING: previous link extremely, extremely NSFW) featuring Miss Trinidad & Tobago (Anya Ayoung-Chee), her boyfriend Wyatt Gallery, and a close friend that is NOT, as previously alleged, Miss Japan.

Missing from this screen grab: Ponytail guy

The video was snatched when Gallery dropped off his laptop for repair at a Trinidad computer shop, and quickly made waves this week throughout the Internet pervosphere.

I won’t lie. I watched the video twice–even though I knew it was wrong, fueled by my disappointment in Carmen Electra’s newly-”leaked” sex tape, which was a bra-filled snoozefest. And I must say, that Miss Trinidad knows how to party!

Seriously, though… what did Wyatt Gallery ever do to deserve such an incredible stroke of luck (the threesome, not the leak)??? Perhaps he frequently helps little old ladies across the street. With his penis.

[TMZ: Miss Universe Contestants In Three-Way Sex Tape]

Source

Filed under: Anya Ayoung-Chee, Beauty Pageants, Guilty Pleasures, Laptops, Leaked Tapes, Luck Be Two Ladies Tonight, Lucky Bastards, Miss Japan, Miss T&T, Miss Trinidad & Tobago, Miss Universe, Miss Universe Contestants Nude, Miss Universe Japan, Mistasian Identity, NSFW, Scandals, Sex, Sex Scandals, Sex Tapes, So So Wrong, Three-ways, Threesomes, Trinidad, Whoopsieeee

Brangelina’s Chinese Baby

The afterbirth has barely dried on new twins Knox and Vivienne, and already rumors abound about Brangelina’s next adoption. This time, Hollywood’s It Couple are apparently shopping around for a Chinese baby. And only DISGRASIAN has the scoop on who that lucky little kid will be…

That’s right, y’all. It’s yours truly!!! Congratulatory baby gifts are totally not necessary. As you can see, I’m already stylin’ with a bitchin’ pacifier. And I can personally attest to the fact that the Brangelina Family Bed is oh-so-cozy. (Is it wrong that I think Mom and Dad are hot, and sometimes I have fantasies about a three-way with them? Just wondering.)

So, yeah, this means I’m pretty much set for life…but don’t hate!

Source
Thanks, Jasmine, for making my dreams come true!

Filed under: Adoption is the New Black, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Brangelina, Chinese Babies, Family Beds, Knox and Vivienne, Pacifiers, The Almighty Jolie-Pitts, Threesomes

Rejection and Humiliasian

Not everyone shares my love for Vince Vaughn, which is good whether or not he’s puffy ‘n’ old or young ‘n’ Brando-ish, smoking hot or smoking too many ciggie-butts, drinking too many scotches or… being a Republican or… whatever. Doesn’t matter. I love the dude.

Vaughn isn’t known for being all that particular in the female department–all signs seem to point to success if you’ve got a round rump and a couple of Patron shots at your disposal. So I have to admit, I was surprised as everybody else when I read yesterday’s “news” of Vaughn turning down a threesome offer recently at local LA bar.

(I know. I can’t believe people actually put this total ca into print either. But without it, there would be no DISGRASIAN.)

I’m actually quite shocked that any girl would take such a blatant and shameful rejection and make it public, but I suppose minute fame these days is far more important than shame. I can’t say that I would ever relive a romantic dismissal again, certainly out loud, to a friend or a tabloid. I may have too much pride. But that’s just me.

I know everyone’s asking the same question: “VINCE VAUGHN turned down a 3-way? He wouldn’t turn away a 3-eyed cow with a skirt on! Why would he do such a thing? WHY? Is he growing up? Did the girls remind him of Jon Favreau? WHY? WHY? HOW?”

I asked these questions to myself all morning, and then decided: any man that turns down free romps is doing so for a reason. And my theory… is that the girls were actually PETA bikini protestors. Nobody likes a pale, vegan orgy.

Nobody.

Source Source Source

Filed under: Fame is Useless, Have A Little Pride Ladies, Humiliasian, Orgies, Pale-Pink Flesh, PETA, Romantic Dismissal Is Not Something You Share, Threesomes, Vince Vaughn, We Don't Trust Vegans