DISGRASIAN™

It Is Shameful For Paps To Photograph Celebrity Kids

I know this.

And yet, how can I not be thankful that this photo was taken?

I mean, the cracking up. The energy. Shiloh’s missing tooth. Those perfectly unlaced moto boots. Mad’s furry coat and big ol’ white feet. And–sigh–Zahara is my new style icon, goodbye Alexa Chung…

Families this fuzzin’ cute should be ILLEGAL! But thank god they’re not.

[via Dlisted]

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Filed under: Alexa Chung, Brangelina, Celebrity Kids, Cool Kids, Families, Heaven Is Filled With Small, Laughing, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, missing tooth, Mixed Families, Paparazzi Photos, Perfectly-Dressed Munchkins, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, The More The Merrier?, This Is So Wrong, variety rules, Zahara Jolie-Pitt

Lil’ Smokey

I, like everyone else, am horrified by the sight of this very young child lighting and smoking a cigarette [via Videogum]–with the experienced hand of an ancient, alcoholic writer, no less–while in the care of adults:

Horrified.

Just horrified!

(Okay, guys, I know this is fucked up, but am I the only one that’s a teeny weeny weeny eeny weeny bit impressed by his smooth lighting technique, cool exhale, and aloof slouch? Just askin’.)

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Thanks, jRu!

Filed under: Bad Parenting, Children, Cigarettes, Exhalasian, Little Dears, This Is So Wrong, Tiny People, Ways to Make Smoking Seem Cool, Whooppsie

Whither Goest Kim Vo’s Anti-Asian Face Cream?

I would like to formally nominate celebutard hairstylist Kim Vo (Britney Spears and Kate Hudson are clients) for the site Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians, which is almost as good for shits and giggles as Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like a Horse. Vo, who is half-Vietnamese, half-French, and 100% not blonde, looks–to use a tired phrase–like a hot mess. Between the spray tan, the crow’s feet, that wrinkly neck, and those pumped-up lips, I simply don’t know where to look.

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Thanks, Jasmine!

Filed under: Anti-Agin' Asian, Crepey Necks, Hairstylists, Kim Vo, Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians, Plastic Surgery, Shear Genius, Sun Damage, This Is So Wrong, We Aren't Supposed to Age Like This, WTF?

Wacky Yank Behavior

Has anybody seen that new ABC game show?

It’s set in New York and called GET ME OUTTA THIS FREAKIN’ BAR MITZVAH, OY!

Here’s the setup: a cast of ten is whisked off to the east coast, thinking that they’re all going to live together in a house as part of a reality show. THEN when they arrive, the producers tell them there’s actually a change in plans. They are blindfolded and trucked off to a secret destination. When they arrive and take off the blinders, they are SHOCKED to find out that they’re actually in Leonard’s of Great Neck, NY… at a LOUD, CRAZY, JEWY, WACKY, BAR MITZVAH!

They’re speechless, right?

Around them are all sorts of strange, foreign, crazy things. Like yarmulkes! And insane bubbes! And matzot! And Yiddish!!! Millions of envelopes filled with US bonds flutter and fly throughout the room! An overweight aunt runs around pinching cheeks! Weird, wacky Jews of all shapes and sizes are lifted up into the air on chairs held by other fascinating Jews! Oh, the humanity!

Will they get out? Will they? OH WILL THEY?

Oy.

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Thanks for the mitzvah, RJ!

Filed under: ABC Blows, Bad ideas, Gongs, Hollywood Is Useless, Holy Sushi???, This is Not Okay, This Is So Wrong, Wacky Japs, We Predict That This Show--Like Coachroaches--Will Survive, WTF?