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Filed under: Anothony Kennedy, Antonin Scalia, Balance, Bush Appointees, Clarence Thomas, Conservative Justices, Dubya Appointees, Goodwin Liu, John Paul Stevens, John Roberts, Justice John Paul Stevens Retirement, Reagan Appointees, SCOTUS, Supreme Court Of The United States, This is Bullshit
Tiger Woods returns to golf next week at the Masters golf tournament in Augusta, GA, which is all a lot of people–myself included–have wanted since news of his multiple extramarital affairs surfaced. Golf may be boring, but nothing’s more boring than seeing Tiger’s “Hey Sexy, What Are You Wearing?” text messages dominate the headlines and knowing the dull minutiae of his life. I mean, porn mistresses and turkey club sandwiches? Could you be more pedestrian?!
There’s only one problem with Tiger’s return, and that’s how the media’s predicting things will go. Not with his golf swing, mind you, but with his
soon-to-be-ex wife, Elin.
Filed under: Blasians, Cheaters, Elin Nordegren, Golf, Stand by Your Man, Tammy Wynette, The Masters Golf Tournament, This is Bullshit, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Affair, Tiger Woods Affairs, Tiger Woods Marriage, Tiger Woods Returns, Tiger Woods Sex Scandals, Who Knew Golf Could Get You Laid?
Dear Texas State Board of Education,
I’ve been following the “liberal-hysteria” that’s ensued since you approved those social studies curriculum changes last week, and as someone who received nearly my entire compulsory education–grades 2-12–in the Texas public schools system, I must admit that I don’t understand what all the fuss is about, particularly with regard to the following points:
The separation of church and state. Have any of the people who’ve gotten their panties in a wad over this ever been to a Friday afternoon pep rally? Or a school-sponsored lock-in? A graduation ceremony? Or a Texas high school football game…where being led in evangelical Christian prayer is considered standard pre-game ritual? Separation of church and state?! In Texas, church is state. So what if the United States Supreme Court says this isn’t legal? Legal schmegal!
The importance of Thomas Jefferson. Was this so-called Founding Father really all that important? Sure, he wrote the Declaration of Independence, which took us from being Great Britain’s bitch to being our own country, but guess what? Texas was once its own country, too! Take that, Jefferson Lovers!
The importance of Hispanics in Texas history. I hear that some of your minority members were lobbying, to no avail, for more recognition of the contributions of Hispanics in Texas, particularly in the seventh-grade Texas History curriculum. And here I thought the whole point of seventh-grade Texas History class was to teach kids how those sneaky Mexicans almost stole Texas from the good white people who we’d later end up naming all of our cities after. Sam Houston = Good, Santa Anna = Bad. That’s what I got out of it, anyway. That and–Remember the Alamo! And how fun is that to say???
The internment of Japanese Americans in WWII wasn’t racist. Continue reading Dear Texas State Board of Education
Filed under: Hispanics in Texas, Japanese American Internment, Jesus Freaks, Latinos, Liberal Bias, Racism, Separation of Church and State, Texas Board of Education, Texas Board of Education Social Studies Curriculum Changes, Texas History, Texas State Board of Education, This is Bullshit, Thomas Jefferson, WWII Internment
Last night, I had a dream that I was sitting at a sushi bar, watching the chef work with his knife before me. He sliced two slim pieces of soft, red flesh and placed them gently on balls of warm sushi rice. He leaned over the bar and laid the two sushi pieces on the wooden platform in my reach, an inch away from a small pat of wasabi and wet pile of dusty-pink pickled ginger.
“This is whale,” he said, looking me in the eye. “No soy sauce.”
Taken aback, I said, “No. Thank you, no whale please.”
“Whale,” he said, now stern. “You eat it. Chef’s special Omakase.” He tightened the grip on his Shun knife.
“No. I can’t. I can’t,” I whimpered, overwhelmed suddenly by fear.
“EAT IT,” he said. And suddenly we were no longer at a sushi bar but in a cavernous black room, with him pinning me against a chair while shoving large, bloody pieces of whale meat into my mouth. “EEEEEEAT IIIIIT!”
The nightmare, of course, stemmed from a week of reading about the recent bust of Santa Monica sushi resto The Hump, an eatery known for serving exotic sushi. The place was busted after two undercover females with a lipstick camera ordered the $600 Omakase menu and requested whale, then were awarded eight pieces. They pocketed samples of the meat and later had them analyzed, identifying the meat as that from the endangered sei whale.
LAT describes the resulting charge:
Named in the complaint, filed in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles, were Typhoon Restaurant Inc., owner of the Hump, and chef Kiyoshiro Yamamoto, 45, of Culver City.
Filed under: Busts, Charges, Endangered Species, Illegal Sale of Marine Mammal Products, Illegally Selling Whale Meat, Kiyoshiro Yamamoto, Los Angeles, Ocean Brethren, Omakase, Santa Monica, Sei Whale, Sushi, Sushi Chef, The Hump, This is Bullshit, Typhoon Restaurant Inc., Whale Meat, White Mercedes, WTF?
Hak-Shing William Tam, secretary of the Christian Evangelical Group called American Return to God Prayer Movement and official California Prop 8 Backer, testified as a hostile witness yesterday in the lawsuit to overturn the ban on same-sex marriage.
In a piece published today on the galvanizasian of Bay Area Chinese evangelicals in opposition to same-sex marriage, the NYT discussed Tam’s testimony,which was solicited by plaintiff’s attorneys to prove the success in passing Prop 8 was “born of virulent homophobia.” Though Tam refused multiple requests for an interview, the Times highlighted a selection from one of his widely-distributed Web essays, which basically argues that “acceptance” of homosexuality kicks off multiple slippery slopes to mass destruction.
“In a macro environment in which homosexuality is gradually accepted as being normal, child molesting by gays is gradually being viewed as normal in academia. Children who were subjected to sexual abuse only know to socialize with other men through sex. When they grow up, they would do the same to other children by molesting children of the same sex. Therefore, gay people grow in numbers even as most of them do not have children of their own.”
On the stand, his tone did not waver. HuffPo commented on some of his testimony:
Filed under: Always Do Your Homework, American Return To God Prayer Movement, Chinese Christians, Envangelical Groups, Hak-Shing William Tam, Hostile Witness, Ignorant Fools, Lawsuit To Overturn Prop 8, Lawsuits, Pedophilia, Prop 8, Prostitution, Same-Sex Marriage, Stupid People, Testimony, The Internet Is A Strange Place, This is Bullshit
That ignorant windbag Pat Robertson’s theory as to why Haiti was struck by yesterday’s devastating 7.0 earthquake, which has tragically taken hundreds of thousands of lives, is not surprising: the country made a pact with the Devil to escape French colonialism, of course! (Crikey. Let’s not forget that this man and his evangelist buddy, Jerry Falwell, once blamed the 9/11 attacks on gays and the ACLU.)
And it’s hardly shocking the Rush Limbaugh discouraged Americans from contributing to relief efforts, at least those linked at the White House “propaganda” website:
Filed under: 7.0 Earthquake In Haiti, ACLU, Christmas Bomb Attempt, Colonialism, Conservatards, Conservative Pieces of Shit, Dead Babies Dead Children Dead People, Death Toll, FOX News is a Joke, Gays, Haiti, Haiti Earthquake, Human Suffering, Intel, Jerry Falwell, Pacts WIth The Devil, Pat Robertson, Politicizasian Of Tragedies, President Barack Obama, Propaganda, Race Dialogue, Red Cross, Relief, Rush Limbaugh, Sadness, The White House, This is Bullshit, Tragedy, Tragic Events
HuffPo has culled together the
best-spelled worst of the worst protest signs from Michele Bachmann’s Tea Party yesterday, which was designed to “scare members of Congress” into voting against healthcare reform.
Our top three:
Filed under: American Idiots, Congress, Conservatards, Dubious Comparisons, Genocide, Health Care Bill Public Option, Healthcare, Healthcare Reform, Idiots, Jackholes, Mao Zedong, Michele Bachmann, Protests, Scary Shit, Sharing The Country, Tea Parties, The Holocaust, This is Bullshit, What The Hell Are These People Talking About?
5. Lewiston, Maine
4. Those asshole lobsters
3. Really cold winters
2. Super lame self-referential terms like “Mainers” and “Maine-iacs”
1. November 3, 2009, the day Maine voters rejected a state law that would allow same-sex couples to marry, just six months after the measure was passed by state legislature and signed by the governor.
Um… can somebody say, “EPIC FAIL, YOU DUMBASS MAINE-IACS?”
Qian Xuesen (Tsien Hsue-shen), a pioneer of both the U.S. and Chinese missile and space programs, died in Beijing on October 31, 2009. He was 97 years-old.
The engineer was born in China, received his Master’s at MIT and his doctorate at Caltech in the 30′s, and was one of the founders of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL). He developed missiles for the Army, consulted for the Air Force–earning a temporary rank of Colonel–and designed a space plane that served as an inspiration for the Space Shuttle.
He was obviously brillz, but also a victim of his time. After applying for U.S. citizenship in 1949, when the country was caught up in the Red Scare, he was accused of having Communist sympathies, falsely imprisoned, and put under house arrest for 5 years. Caltech rallied around Qian and appointed attorney Grant Cooper to defend him. Despite their efforts, Qian, his wife, and their two American-born children were deported in 1955 by the U.S. government back to China, where Qian went on to start the Chinese space program and where he’s regarded as a hero.
Cooper who would later say of the gross mistreatment of his client:
“That the government permitted this genius, this scientific genius, to be sent to Communist China to pick his brains is one of the tragedies of this century.”
Irony of all ironies, Qian eventually joined the Communist Party in 1958.
Filed under: Caltech, Chinese Space Program, Father of Chinese Rocketry, Geniuses, Jet Propulsion Laboratory, JPL, McCarthyism, MIT, NASA, Qian Xuesen, Red Scare, Rocket Man, Scientists, This is Bullshit, Tsien Hsue-shen
Larry Whitten, a Texan and former marine in his sixties, purchased a failing hotel in Taos, New Mexico, and revamped it as the Whitten Inn.
Quickly, he showed the staff there was a new sheriff in town. And this new sheriff was looking at his largely Latino staff as too spicy for future clientele. Soon, orders for employees to Anglicize their names (from “Marcos” to “Mark,” for example) were enforced. These were joined by demands to only speak English, a measure meant to prevent staff members for talking shit about Whitten behind his back. And those who did not respond well to these new rules were fired.
Whitten’s reasoning for altering just “ethnic” first names? From AP:
“I’m not doing it for any reason other than for the satisfaction of my guests, because people calling from all over America don’t know the Spanish accents or the Spanish culture or Spanish anything.”
Oh, of course! Because a tourist headed to TAOS, NEW MEXICO–which was established in the 18th century by Spaniards and currently boasts a Hispanic/Latino population of over 54%–should most certainly expect an experience free of all things Spanish, including names/accents/culture/architecture/blood in every inch of soil! Why should they have to deal with that shit? Especially when they’re forking out a cool $49 for their luxury suite??
In reaction, the people of Taos have quickly protested, picketed, and publicly slammed Whitten in the media, calling him an ignorant racist. I applaud ‘em, by golly, but think it could be even simpler than that.
Whitten may or may not be racist, but for absolute certain: he is a REALLY DUMB FUCK, and moreover, a BAD BUSINESSMAN.
Filed under: Anglicizing Names, Bad Business, Dumb Fucks, Hispanic/Latino Populations, Ignor, Ignorant Fools, Larry Whitten, New Mexico, Protests, Racism is Wack, Really Dumb People, Spanish Culture, Taos, this is bul, This is Bullshit, Whitten Inn
Sen. Dan Inouye of Hawaii, a WWII veteran and now the third-longest-serving senator in American history, may have voted in roll call for Al Franken’s amendment to a larger Defense appropriations bill, which would end federal funding for defense contractors who abuse mandatory arbitration clauses to deny victims of assault (including sexual assault, like rape) the right to bring their case to court. But that amendment is now in danger at Inouye’s hands.
Inouye’s office, sources say, has been lobbied by defense contractors adamant that the language of the Franken amendment would leave them overly exposed to lawsuits and at constant risk of having contracts dry up. The Senate is considering taking out a provision known as the Title VII claim, which (if removed) would allow victims of assault or rape to bring suit against the individual perpetrator but not the contractor who employed him or her.
Well, we can’t let those contracts dry up, can we? That would be bad, wouldn’t it?
OH WAIT, prioritizing a bunch of fucking contracts over the rights of sexual assault victims would be more than bad. It would be a total fucking EPIC FAIL.
Time to tell that to Grandpa. Email or Call Inouye’s office now and tell him you don’t want victims forced into secret arbitration after they’ve suffered through the worst of violations, just because groups like KBR are making a big stink about being “exposed.”
Inouye’s office contact information is as follows:
722 Hart Building
Washington, D.C. 20510-1102
300 Ala Moana Boulevard
Honolulu, Hawaii 96850-4975
101 Aupuni Street, #205
Hilo, Hawaii 96720
A few images of the devastation and panic caused by rapid flooding:
Dr. Prisco Nilo, chief of the PAGASA (Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical, and Astronomical Services Administration) who briefed the National Disaster Coordinating Council on the disastrous events, took an opportunity during an interview with the Philippine Daily Inquirer to blame the residents: “Instead of just watching the soap operas on TV, they should also watch the news,” he said.
But the government–particularly its leader, President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo–pointed elsewhere, noting that the Philippine government’s response and public cry for International help was “quick” …compared to the response of the United States to Hurricane Katrina (and despite more than 7 additional inches of rain).
The mighty United States–not known, by and large, to be crippled by location or poverty–clearly pondered this statement, looked up to the sky, twiddled its thumbs and began to whistle nonchalantly.
Filed under: Bad Examples, Death Toll, Disasters, Doing Nothing, Hurricane Katrina, Ketsana, Ondoy, President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, The Blame Game, the Philippines, This is Bullshit, U.S. Epic Fails