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Vacancy In The White House?

April 5th, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Diana

If Kal Penn leaves the White House Office Of Public Liaison to be in the next Harold and Kumar


POTUS and Penn

…it means there’s an open spot available in the Obama Administration for a person who can maybe get an hug from President Obama OMG OMG OMG!!! be the go-between for the White House and the Asian American community (whatever that means).

What a great opportunity for that, ahem, someone ME ME ME ME PLEASE ME ME ME ME PLEASE PICK ME ME ME ME ME ME ME I WANT A HUG!

[via HuffPo]

[Access Hollywood: Kal Penn Leaving White House For 'Kumar' Sequel]
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Thanks, Lara and Leamy!

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When Worlds Gently And Mindfully Collide

February 19th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

His Holiness the Dalai Lama with President Barack Obama, at the White House, on February 18.


OBAMA: It is good to finally meet you here, your Holiness. Thank you for coming.

DALAI LAMA: It is good to see you, President Obama.

OBAMA: Your good friend Sharon Stone called the White House today nine times in anticipation of your arrival.

DALAI LAMA: She is–what do you call–a hoot. Very good intention, but very hot mind.

OBAMA: Indeed.

DALAI LAMA: (leaning in) And of course, as nuts as a bowl of almonds.

OBAMA: Yes!

[gently, they chuckle]

OBAMA: Your job seems… challenging.

DALAI LAMA: Your job also seems challenging. However, this is a good test for you.

OBAMA: It is. I believe that that ultimately, the American people are good. We all want to benefit humanity, just go about it in different ways.

Continue reading When Worlds Gently And Mindfully Collide

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The Politicizasian Of Suffering In Haiti

January 13th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

That ignorant windbag Pat Robertson’s theory as to why Haiti was struck by yesterday’s devastating 7.0 earthquake, which has tragically taken hundreds of thousands of lives, is not surprising: the country made a pact with the Devil to escape French colonialism, of course! (Crikey. Let’s not forget that this man and his evangelist buddy, Jerry Falwell, once blamed the 9/11 attacks on gays and the ACLU.)

And it’s hardly shocking the Rush Limbaugh discouraged Americans from contributing to relief efforts, at least those linked at the White House “propaganda” website:

Continue reading The Politicizasian Of Suffering In Haiti

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White House Party Crash Test Dummies

December 9th, 2009 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

News today: For crashing the White House state dinner, the oh-so-tawdry hobknobbers Tareq and Michaele Salahi have, as expected, been served with subpoenas–a decision made today by a congressional panel. The couple will face questioning on January 20 by the House of Representatives Homeland Security Committee.

Ruh Roh! Subpoena-oh!

Ruh Roh! Subpoena-oh!

Continue reading White House Party Crash Test Dummies

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Transasian to Power

November 10th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
President George W. Bush meets with President-Elect Barack
Obama
in the Oval Office, after giving him a tour of the White House

BUSH: Pretty cool digs, eh, Obamarama?

OBAMA: The best in the world, Mr. President. I’m looking forward to settling in.

BUSH: [Surveying the room] I can’t get over the fact that it doesn’t really feel like an oval.

OBAMA: …

BUSH: And y’know, I’m not looking forward to packing up all of my crap, y’know what I mean? Eight years is a long time. I’m like, tired. I hate wrapping stuff and putting it in boxes. Laura always ends up doing that kinda stuff for me. I just tell her I’m busy or I’m on the phone with some world leader or something. And if that doesn’t work I just threaten that I’ll drink again, he he. Works every time!

OBAMA: I’m sure it’s a pretty daunting task, Mr. President. Before we move forward, I think it would be a good idea to first talk about expediting the economic stimulus package.

BUSH: Oh, Borat, you know I can’t say the words “stimulus” and “package” in the same sentence without chuckling a little. Chuckling a lot, he he… “package!” [chuckles]

OBAMA: It’s important to take action on it now, and not just wait until I take office. That’s still two months away. And you’re the President right now.

BUSH: Oh, I can piss away a couple of months, no problem. Hell, Orama, if I had been running in this election I bet they’d still be counting ballots in January.

OBAMA: I’m not sure that’s the best way to look at it, Mr. President.

BUSH: Call me Georgie. I’ll call you Barry. Or… Osama! [chuckles]

OBAMA: I’d rather not.

BUSH: You’d rather what?

OBAMA: Mr. President, let’s talk about housing. Americans are losing their homes.

BUSH: I know, O Ban! I am one of those Americans! You’re comin’ in here and takin’ over the place with some weird hyper-anesthesia dog!

OBAMA: Mr. President, if I could just get you to focus…

BUSH: Have you wondered where exactly a squid’s face is? Those crazy-ass things don’t make a lick o’ sense to me. Kinda like Koreans.

OBAMA: No, Mr. President, I haven’t wondered much about that.

BUSH: Do you listen to Foreigner at all?

OBAMA: I have a very diverse playlist.

BUSH: Cool man, cool. So what’s it like being a Muslim?

OBAMA: [Sighs] Somebody, anybody, please just take the picture.

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