You are currently browsing posts tagged with The Tyra Banks Show

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! America’s Next Top Model And “Portraying” Race

October 30th, 2009 | 7 comments | Posted by Jen

Tyra Banks is the Mistress of Babble. She’s usurped the word “fierce” from drag queens and publicly abused it to the point that it’s been emptied of all meaning and packs the same linguistic punch as clearing one’s throat. Her biggest contribution to the English language, “smizing,” or “smiling with your eyes,” is a made-up modeling term that’s also a paradox, something she’s defined in the past as “squinting with your eyes open” (and something that I happen to really suck at).

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Her crazy talk extends beyond modeling to the “social” ideas she explores on both her talk show and America’s Next Top Model. Remember when she put on a fat suit for a day to understand what it was like to be the victim of what she called the “last form of open discrimination that’s okay”? Or when she had the Cycle 10 ANTM contestants “do” homeless, posing with real-life homeless youth, and told the models she understood what it was like to live on the streets because she (again) did it for a day on her talk show?

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BABEWATCH: Chanel Iman

March 10th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Chanel Iman Robinson

Age: 19

Occupation: Model

Why She’s a Babe: Well, for one thing, Chanel, who was named after Coco Chanel and the supermodel Iman, is only 19, so she’s actually a babe, as in a babe-in-the-woods. And while she’s been modeling since she was 13, she’s maintained a certain fresh-faced innocence about her (Flashing peace signs! Winking at Anna Wintour!), a fact that made Tyra cry on her talk show and has been widely attributed to the hands-on involvement of Chanel’s mama, China Robinson, who is half-Korean and half-black. And while she’s being billed as the new Naomi, she’ll still put unflattering photos of herself on her MySpace page and give them cute captions like FOR ALL U DORKS OUT THERE IM DORKY TOOO.”

Recently, Chanel signed on to co-host an updated version of MTV’s awesomely awful ’90′s show about fashion, House of Style. We’re betting Chanel won’t be as wooden as the show’s original host, Cindy Crawford, although we’re praying the new House of Style will be just as kitschy and bizarre as ever.

Chanel and China Robinson

Source

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ANTM’s Sheena Sakai: Bust-ed

September 11th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Sheena Sakai got busted for having fake TyTys last night on America’s Next Top Model. Paulina Porizkova asked her flat-out (so to speak) if her breasts were fake and Sheena said, “No, Ma’am,” which I imagine made the 43 year-old judge vomit in her pretty mouth because cool chicks married to rockers don’t cotton to being called “Ma’am.” (By the way, have you ever wondered what Paulina and Ric Ocasek talk about, like, over breakfast?) But Sheena had a change of heart and came forward again after all the girls had been addressed by the judges to, as she said, get something “off (her) chest” (around the 5:00 mark):

Which was an incredible set-up for Tyra to then have her Oprah moment and tell Sheena:

I knew your breasts were not real. But one thing that I feel is absolutely beautiful is that you stepped forward and you said, you know what, I’m gonna tell the truth.

And that’s when I vomited in my pretty mouth.

PREDICTION: After ANTM Cycle 11 is over, Tyra will have Sheena on The Tyra Banks Show for a Fake-Tits-Are-Baaaaaaaaaad story, we’ll go into the operating room with Sheena as she gets them taken out and Tyra holds her hand, telling her how “brave” she is, how beautiful she is on the inside and out, and how she’s a wonderful example to young girls everywhere.

*sighs and golf-claps*

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