You are currently browsing posts tagged with The Rush Hour Franchise Is Unforgivable


April 9th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy birthday to Jackie Chan, who turned 55 this week and is still about 3,475 times more ripped than we currently are at the tender ages of um, 19 and 22.

Today, Chan can enjoy the experience of us being gentle and nice to him! Pretty neat, huh? If he would just stop all that wretched clowning, it could happen a helluva lot more often.


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Maggie Eww

April 18th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Page Six reported today that Brett Fat and Maggie Q are dating. The new couple attended a dinner together honoring documentary cinematographer Albert Maysles last week, where they reportedly got “very cozy” despite the fact that Mags did not understand the words coming out of Brett Fat’s mouth.

Thanks, Jasmine!

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They’re Ba-ack

April 15th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

While promoting Forbidden Kingdom over the weekend, Jackie Chan announced that he and Chris Tucker will reunite on the big screen, but not (thankfully) for another Rush Hour sequel. No word on whether Brett Ratner would direct, although Jackie hinted that that wasn’t happening:

“We finished ‘Rush Hour 1,’ and it was six years later that we made ‘Rush Hour 2,’ ” he said, “and then six years later we made ‘Rush Hour 3.’ It’s too long!”

TRANSLASIAN: “I’ve finally come to my senses and realized that Brett Fat is a douchey hack.”


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Michel Gondry Is French for Genius

March 18th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

I finally watched Be Kind Rewind last night, Michel Gondry’s new valentine to moviemaking, and I could not stop giggling. Gondry’s “Sweded” version of Rush Hour 2, with Jack Black as Jackie Chan and Mos Def as Chris Tucker, is a pitch-perfect send-up of that pile of poo.

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August 10th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Celebrating his uncanny achievement of Rush Hour 3, LA Weekly stroked Brett Ratner’s wee-wee with a recrementitious feature article and accompanying puke-worthy cover:

We vomited. Many times. All over the picture-perfect popcorn. But after we got ourselves together and wiped all of the chunks off of our copy of the Weekly, we decided to design our own appropriate cover–and we think we got it right.

“Me? I don’t understand a word coming out of your mouth, nigga! HEE HEE!”

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