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Who Knew? Pilipinas Loves Animal Sounds And Bondage Gear And…
What I learned watching the following excerpt from Pilipinas Got Talent:
1. “B.M.” doesn’t always stand for “Bowel Movement.”
2. Sometimes, scaring is caring.
3. Black vinyl dominatrix gear with a flirty yellow tulle robe might get you fugged in the United States, but the PGT judges love it. LOVE IT.
4. The sound of a loud horse neigh scares the shit out of me.
5. It’s true–heels DO go with everything.
6. When you wait for the loud “X” buzzer, it never comes.
7. Those strange talents that the losers honed in homeroom while I was doodling stuff for my fanzine might actually pay off one day.
8. I clearly wouldn’t know talent if it walked up to me on Sunset Boulevard wearing an “I’m Talent” t-shirt and holding up a sign reading, “What does talent look like? Me!” then kicked me in the ass, punched me in the eye, and said, “I said I’m TALENT!”
[YouTube: Pilipinas Got Talent Big Mouth (BM)]
Source Thanks, G Scott!
Filed under: Animal Sounds, Bondage Gear, Dubious Talents, Horse Neighs, Pilipinas, Pilipinas Got Talent, Strange Tales Involving Poop (Sort of), Talent, the Philippines, Weird Filipino Behavior, Why?
Congratulasians To Efren Peñaflorida, 2009 CNN Hero Of The Year!
The people have spoken, and what they have said is that our man Efren Peñaflorida, with his pushcart school, is a hero among heroes. Try not to cry during his acceptance speech:
Perhaps we could all learn something from his tireless efforts and pushcart lessons. Peñaflorida said:
“Our planet is filled with heroes, young and old, rich and poor, man, woman of different colors, shapes and sizes. We are one great tapestry. Each person has a hidden hero within, you just have to look inside you and search it in your heart, and be the hero to the next one in need.”
And right now, from behind our walls of daily snark and selfishness and shame, we kinda believe him.
[CNN: Pushcart Educator Named CNN Hero Of The Year]
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: 2009 CNN Hero Of The Year, Anderson Cooper, Awards, Awards Shows, CNN, CNN Heroes Awards, Efren Peñaflorida, Everybody Loves a Winner, Heroes, the Philippines
How Did Manny Pacquiao Do It?
How did Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao make history this weekend, by becoming the first fighter to win seven world titles in seven different weight classes?
Intern Jasmine, our resident Pinaysian, has a theory.
It’s all in the adobo, baby.
[Sky News: Philippines Erupts As Boxer Makes History]
Filed under: Boxers, Fighters, Filipinos, Manny Pacman Pacquiao, Manny Pacquiao, Manny Pacquiao Wins Seven Titles in Seven Weight Classes, Miguel Cotto, Pac-Man, Pinaysians, Pinoy Pride, the Philippines
AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Efren Peñaflorida Jr.
Name: Efren Peñaflorida Jr.
Hails from: Cavite City, The Philippines
Occupation: Student, Founder of the Dynamic Teen Company organization, source of the pushcart classroom in Cavite City
Known for: Building a new path.
CNN has highlighted the 28-year old Pinoy, who grew up in the slums of Cavite City, amongst their Top 10 Heroes of 2009. Peñaflorida, like many of his peers, grew up terrorized by gang violence in his community that included offenses of vandalism and rape.
In high school, he made a decision–he was going to create a different option. With three friends, Peñaflorida created a club called the Dynamic Teen Company, aspiring to “cater youth awareness projects, talent and self development activities, and community services.” Living near the dump site of his city, he eagerly developed feeding projects for the small children sent to scavenge for leftovers and rotten food there. Years of development (building awareness, training themselves as educators, staging activities and concerts) eventually led the group to become a self-sustaining education organization, and they soon obtained a pedicab to create a traveling vehicle for their educating missions.
Ten years after the launch of DTC, Peñaflorida travels weekly with the pedicab–which has been outfitted as a foldout classroom, around the city to lead classes for children 2 to 14. He is armed with armed with a team of trained teen volunteers. They also run a hygeine clinic where kids can bathe and learn to care for their teeth.
CNN adds:
“Since 1997, an estimated 10,000 members have helped teach more than 1,500 children living in the slums. The organization supports its efforts by making and selling crafts and collecting items to recycle.”
It’s a lot of work, with slow-moving impact and very little fanfare. Yet somebody wants to do it: Efren Peñaflorida and his team of friends. What’s a little work when you’re creating real change?
So what else does Peñaflorida want? More carts. And, in case you’ve forgotten, the winner of the CNN Heroes Contest will receive $100,000! Help a brother out by voting for Efren now.
[CNN Heroes: Vote for Efren Peñaflorida]
[Dynamic Teen Company - Official Site]
Filed under: Amazians, Children, CNN Heroes Awards, Do-Gooders, Educasian, Helping People, Making Changes, the Philippines
A Prayer To Mother Nature For Our Kinfolk In Asia
Dear Mother Nature,
First you flood the Philippines, where the homes of over 2 million people have been affected and 246 people have been reported dead so far. Then you unleash an undersea earthquake that turns into a tsunami on the Samoa Islands, killing dozens. After that, you take the same storm that menaced the Philippines, and move it over Laos and then Vietnam, where 170,000 homes have been damaged and 41 have been reported dead at last count. Still hell-bent on destruction, you then toss in another earthquake Wednesday–with a magnitude of 7.6–in Indonesia, near Padang, the capital city of West Sumatra, that claims 75 lives.
From the Philippines (Reuters)
From Padang, Indonesia (Reuters)Lady, WTF? What did Asia ever do to you? Sleep with your fella, Father Time?!
Amidst all of this apocalyptic disaster, we did notice one tiny shred of good news:
No harm has come to the 20th season of Survivor? PHEW. Let no one say Mother Nature is without mercy!
On that note, do you think you could find room in your heart for a little more of that and, like, TAKE A FUCKING CHILL PILL?
How do you end a prayer to Mother Nature? Amen? Gaia be with me? LYLAS? Anyway…
yours sincerely,
DISGRASIAN
Filed under: Disasters, Indonesia, Ketsana, Laos, Mother Nature Is a Bitch, Natural Disasters Asia, Ondoy, Padang, Samoa Islands, the Philippines, Tsunami, Vietnam
Ketsana/Ondoy: Let America Guide The Way
The death toll of the Philippines’ Tropical Storm Ketsana (referred to in The Philippines as “Ondoy”) has reached 144, and is not done growing.
A few images of the devastation and panic caused by rapid flooding:
The country, described by AP this week as “doomed by geography and hobbled by poverty,” saw a rise in anger as stranded and suffering residents saw little or no quick aid from the government.
Dr. Prisco Nilo, chief of the PAGASA (Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical, and Astronomical Services Administration) who briefed the National Disaster Coordinating Council on the disastrous events, took an opportunity during an interview with the Philippine Daily Inquirer to blame the residents: “Instead of just watching the soap operas on TV, they should also watch the news,” he said.
But the government–particularly its leader, President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo–pointed elsewhere, noting that the Philippine government’s response and public cry for International help was “quick” …compared to the response of the United States to Hurricane Katrina (and despite more than 7 additional inches of rain).
The mighty United States–not known, by and large, to be crippled by location or poverty–clearly pondered this statement, looked up to the sky, twiddled its thumbs and began to whistle nonchalantly.
[Times UK: Hundreds Featred Dead As Tropical Storm Ketsana Lashes Manila With Month's Rain In A Day]
[ABC News: Anger As Philippines Flood Death Toll Rises]
Filed under: Bad Examples, Death Toll, Disasters, Doing Nothing, Hurricane Katrina, Ketsana, Ondoy, President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, The Blame Game, the Philippines, This is Bullshit, U.S. Epic Fails
Philippine Prison Looks Phun! [Michael Jackson's "Dangerous"]
Once again, the prisoners at the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, where 70 percent of the inmates are convicted of serious crimes like murder, rape and drug trafficking, make maximum-security incarcerasian look really awesome with another Michael Jackson dance video, this time to “Dangerous”:
The prisoners’ first Michael Jackson video, choreographed to “Thriller,” has received over 30 million views since it was uploaded two years ago.
[NYT: Dance is part of rehabilitation at Philippine prison]
Filed under: Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, Dancing Filipino Prisoners, Filipino Fenoms, Fun Stuff to Do in Prison, Michael Jackson, Philippine Prisoners, the Philippines
The Importance of Being Earnest When You’re Alec Baldwin
Alec Baldwin made a quick quip about Filipino and Russian mail-order brides* last week on Letterman (see video above, at 00:33)–and the immediate fallout in the Philippines was not pretty. In fact, the incident incited a particularly hot reaction from Filipino Senator Ramon Revilla–a former action movie star–who called Baldwin “arrogant” as well as insensitive and ignorant to the country’s laws against mail-order brides.
From AP:
“Let him try to come here in the Philippines and he’ll see mayhem,” Revilla said, using a local idiom that implies the speaker will personally administer a beating.
Perhaps not the most professional or diplomatic approach, but certainly effective.
In response, Baldwin (who by now must be familiar with the art of public apology), submitted a lengthy “I’m sorry” note to the world via The Huffington Post–noting the outstanding issues of sex trafficking in The Philippines as well as other parts of the world, while directing attention to the non-profit organization Love 146.
And we’re down to support his apology. We’re also really, really, really glad we’re not famous TV stars whose comments are resonant enough to cause international rage.
In other news, Baldwin is going to Hanoi with the N.Y. Philharmonic! [Insert off-color quip here.]
*side note: I’ve actually met one Russian M.O.B., and she was very nice, as well as shockingly well-adjusted.
[HuffPo: Alec Baldwin - An Apology Regarding My Letterman Appearance and a Clarification on U.S. Autoworkers]
[Love 146 - Official site]
Filed under: Alec Baldwin, Huffington Post, International Relasians, Letterman, Love 146, Mail-Order Brides, NY Philharmonic, Public Apologies, Public Shame, Russia, Sex Trafficking, the Philippines
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Philippine Government
I found out a couple of weeks ago that I did my 2007 taxes wrong. I was surprised, y’know, cuz Asians just don’t do things incorrectly, like EVER. Okay, yeah, I worked on my forms myself instead of handing them off to an accountant (Dumb!), procrastinated until the very last minute (Stupid!), and hurriedly completed the form online while sitting in a Boston hotel with Jen, a night before speaking at the Harvard Berkman Center about our fun Internet lives.
Alright, I wasn’t that surprised that I did them wrong. I suck.
So, okay. The IRS wanted their money. Fair enough! Let them have my damn money and spend it on some Wall Street fat cat bonuses, if that’s what they want to do! I could deal with that. All it took was the signing of a check, the placing of a stamp, and on the day went. I’m not bleeding money, but when I owe a buck or two, I pay it. I show a little dignity for my errors.
And so I’ve gotta say, having, er, been there, that I am heavily disappointed in the Philippines (pardon the synechdoche here, friends in the Philippines) for dicking around on a millions-large amount of owed NYC property taxes for well over five years. The NYT reported this week that, after much toil, the country just reached a settlement with Manhattan regarding the dues, and has finally agreed to pay $9 million in back property taxes and interest . This amount is “about 85 percent of what the city had sought… for a building at 556 Fifth Avenue.”
Meanwhile, India and Mongolia, next up on my tsk list, are still in court dealing with equally enormous unsettled tax debts.
Sigh. Just write the check and place the stamp, guys. It’s the only way.
Source Source Source
Thanks, Jasmine and Patrick!
Filed under: Debt, Even Asians Make Mistakes, Forgetting to Pay Your Taxes Is Bullshit, Harvard, India, Mongolia, NYC, President Barack Obama, Property Taxes, The IRS, the Philippines, Wall Street Bonuses
What to Do if You Love Trannies, Hookers, and Internet Porn?
If you’re in New York or L.A., go see The Amazing Truth About Queen Raquela this weekend. This movie, a sort of fictional doc about Raquela, a transsexual dreamer from the Philippines, is filled with things DISGRASIAN loves: trannies, prostitution, Pinaysians, Internet porn, Paris, and cigarettes. The story is loosely based on star Raquela Rios’s life as a “ladyboy” in Cebu City. It is a fairytale without a fairytale ending, a story with a middle but seemingly no beginning and no end, a dream state that takes you from the Philippines to Iceland and then to France. Even if you’re not into trannies, prostitution, Pinaysians, Internet porn, Paris, and cigarettes (in which case, WTF is wrong with you?!), see Queen Raquela for its hazy verité beauty that is equal parts Lars Von Trier, Jean-Luc Godard, and Wong Kar-Wai (and any other auteur with a three word-name, which, coincidentally, Raquela’s director, Olaf de Fleur, also has).
Click here for theaters.
Filed under: Fairytales, Hookers, Indie Movies, Internet Porn, Ladyboys, Olaf de Fleur, Pinaysians, Prostitutes, The Amazing Truth About Queen Raquela, the Philippines, Trannies, Transsexuals, Verite
The Umbrellas of Cebu-rg
It always bugs the hell outta me when Angelenos (most of whom are transplants from less sunny climes) say things like, “I love L.A., but I really miss the rain.” I’m always like, No, ya don’t, ya fuckin’ liar. It’s as though liking the rain is some kind of badge of honor, like you’re suddenly a deeper person, just add water. Phooey. I grew up outside of Houston, one of the wettest cities in America, where it rains more than it does in London (a little fact I learned once from playing way too much Trivial Pursuit), so I know from rain. Rain kills. It kills your hair. It kills your suede shoes. It creates floods, mold, and brings out water mocassins, all of which, BTW, kill.
I’m relieved that somebody out there understands this and has developed The Self-Defense Umbrella (aka The Fighting Umbrella or The Unbreakable Umbrella). These umbrellas are so badass that the security detail for Philippines (one “L”) president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo carries them. Don’t believe me? Check this:
(via Wired)
Filed under: Badass Stuff, Badges of Honor, Floods, Killer Mold, President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, Rain Kills, the Philippines, The Self-Defense Umbrella, Umbrellas, Water Mocassins
Miss Spelling
The Miss Universe pageant is currently underway in Vietnam and pageant organizers have already demonstrated that they can’t spell “Philippines.” Miss Philippines Jennifer Barrientos’ sash read “Miss Phillippines” for three days before the mistake was corrected. I only learned about this because I happen to have a Google Alert for “Phillipines.” That’s right, with two L’s. Because I, um…am on a mission to rid the world of its ignorance when it comes to spelling the name of this Southeast Asian island-nation. Yes, that’s it! And to do that, I have to be hypervigillant. I have to scour the web for Phillippineses. I have to sleep with one eye open just so that I can be on the lookout at ALL TIMES for those hatefull two L’s. The devills who commit this crime over and over must be stopped, and I, uh…
…I maybe can’t spell “Philippines” either.
The Miss Universe pageant airs July 13 on NBC.
Filed under: Bad Spellers, Beautiful Filipina Women, Busted, Dammit, Jennifer Barrientos, Miss Universe, Pinaysian Persuasian, the Philippines, The Two LL's in Philippines
