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Tiger Publicly Apologizes For Cheating, Athletes Everywhere Groan

February 19th, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Jen

Tiger Woods apologized today, ushering in a bizarre new era where professional athletes ask forgiveness for cheating on their wives not only from their wives but from the general public.

(Somewhere, Charles Barkley is driving his SUV drunk on the way to a blowjob, marveling at his own genius.)

To recap, Tiger said he:

  • has a lot to atone for
  • doesn’t get to play by different rules
  • brought shame to his family
  • wants to live a life of integrity
  • will become a better person by returning to Buddhism and by seeking more treatment and therapy

If that fails, Tiger can always tape this picture of his mother Kultida from the press conference (at the 6:00 mark) to a mirror, to scare his ass straight:

Continue reading Tiger Publicly Apologizes For Cheating, Athletes Everywhere Groan

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Y.E. Yang

August 17th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
Tiger seems… happy for Yang

Name: Y.E. Yang (a.k.a. Yang Yong-eun)

Age: 37

Hails from: South Korea

Occupation: Professional Golfer

Known for: Despite starting Sunday as a 20-1 underdog ranked #110 in the world, unleashing a shocking performance to ultimately best #1 Tiger Woods (previously 14 for 14 as a closer in majors) for the win in the 2009 PGA Championship.

Since the upset, Yang has been described as an almost mythical hero:

Wearing all white, [a] ghost-like figure…

“Y. E. Yang… took on No. 1 Tiger Woods and never blinked.”

When the general public gets to know him, they will fall in love with him.

…and we’re totally buying it. Besides possessing one truly astounding great win, Yang really does seem like a pretty great, humble guy–and wouldn’t you know it, also happens to be the very first male from Asia to win a major golf championship.

We can barely avoid tearing up while reading his own words of inspirasian for the peeps:

“’I hope this win would be as — if not as significant, something quite parallel to an impact both to golf in Korea as well as golf in Asia so that all the young golfers, Korean and Asian, would probably build their dreams and expand their horizons a bit with this win,’ he said.

Can you? Didn’t think so. We’re so feeling the hype!

[LAT: Y.E. Yang Stuns Tiger Woods at PGA Championship]
[NYT: Y. E. Yang Shocks Woods to Win at P.G.A.]

Source
Thanks, Kyle!

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No Longer a Wie Lass

July 21st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

We suppose you can’t fault Michelle Wie for being ambitious. Coming off a much-discussed disqualificasian for not signing her scorecard at the State Farm Classic Saturday, the 18 year-old golfer will be playing with the big boys next week in the Legends Reno-Tahoe Open. It will be Michelle’s eighth time playing on the PGA Tour.

Frankly, we’re worried. A year ago, after she bailed on a few tournaments, we wondered if Michelle wasn’t fast becoming the Anna Kournikova of golf. A whole lotta sizzle but no steak. And now that she’s an adult, no one’s impressed anymore by her merely showing up. We love to see a woman competing against men, but girlfriend’s got to brang it. Otherwise, it’s just another tired old–yes, old–bid for attention.

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